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its over
December 24, 2005
10:31 am
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lita
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well for no reason whats so ever the guy i was so excited about in vegas, just stop calling me. and iam sending back the stuff he gave me. I dont know what happened. I really thought this might of been the good thing me and my boys were missing in our life. I think it is because i have kids. I dont know, He is the one missing out. Iam just so hurt and confused. I thought he was a good christian man.

December 24, 2005
11:06 am
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mj
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Hi lita,

Break ups for whatever reason are generally painful. I am sorry you are experiencing this. Focus on loving your beautiful children. They are a Priority aren't they?

In my past, some people are incapable of being honest and direct. You may never know why he quit calling but be thankful you found this bit of information about him now rather than later.

December 24, 2005
11:23 am
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CAMER
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lita, how long have you two been going together???? and has he ever acted distant in the relationship b4???

December 25, 2005
12:04 pm
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Rasputin
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Lita, yes break-ups hurt. But take it as a sign that if you were both meant for each another, things will eventually work out between you. I know it is very depressing. But cheer up honey, this too shall pass and tomorrow is another day when you will feel better and meet new people and opportunities in your life.

Wishing you all the best!~Ras~

December 25, 2005
12:24 pm
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lita
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mj, Thank you very much. and your right my boys have always been priority 1. I just thought i had found someone good this time. I just feel hurt you know. because I truly don know what happened. Merry christmas.

December 25, 2005
12:27 pm
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lita
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camer, we had been talking for about 3 months. And in that time he was never distant. He was always the perfect gentlemen, And he was a christian man without a temper so i thought that was great. My last relationship was nothing but abuse of every kind i just wanted better tis time and i thought i had found it. merry christmas.

December 25, 2005
12:34 pm
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lita
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Ras, I could just throw my hands up sometimes you know. I dont think I will ever find a good man with a good heart to love me and my kids. I should just get used to being alone. Iam so hurt and noone knows it. I mean its christmas and I made sure my boys had a wonderful christmas they were so happy they playing with there stuff now. I dont even know what happened , did i do something wrong. Iam used to taking the blaime for every wrong thing that ever happened in my xh life. Was this my fault , was I blind not to see what he wanted. He just stopped calling me Ras, I feel so stupid right now. Merry Christmas.

December 25, 2005
12:50 pm
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Rasputin
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(((Lita)))) Do not take it personally. We were all dumped by men be it in real life or thru on line dating. I once opted for Spiritual online dating and finally I was matched with man who claimed to be spiritual.

At 1st he was acting as gentleman. As time passed by, he started to accuse me of things, such as being ugly, being this and that.

He was putting pressure on me coz I had not picture on mine, he did not post pic either. I told him that I did not have a scanner. He was putting so much pressure on me to post my pic right away.

After a period of reflection and tho I was forgivng him for all his insults toward me. I decided to end up our rlationship with Joy!!!

These type of people (Jerks, Immature) are NOT worthy of our time!!!

I realized I'd rather spend Christmas with alone byself than spend it with such rude, immature jerk who claims to be Spiritual and who does the opposite of being spiritual.

I beleive that not posting my pic was a divine test for him. Evidently he failed the test with disgrace. LOL

The outcome of this conflict is that finally he sent my picture of him. In the pic he was sort of disguised, he was wearing baseball hat to cover up his being bold. He also lied about his age.

He did not know that I am an educated person and I do not judge people on their apprearance/beauty rauther on their personality and kindness. He also had no idea that when I say I am spiritual, I MEAN every word I say not just pretend to be.

We are too educated and too precious for these men sweetie. Let's not settle and just choose them coz they were on our way. They will make our life toxic.

After I broke it up with that guy, I went thru healing process whereby I had to forgive him for all his unfair treatment and I came here on this baord and posted about cutting him out of my life. Our online communication lasted 1 month and half, they were as tough as hell.

Let's wait for the right person!

Merry Christmas to you and the sweet kids!! You see Lita, after all Xmas was great with your 2 kids! Right. I am so thirlled for you. ~XOXOXO~

December 25, 2005
2:12 pm
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doushes
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hi,
i think you should keep in mind that theres someone out there for you my saying is dont go looking for love let it find you
doushes

December 25, 2005
2:44 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Lita:

I feel for ya. I know that feeling of the good Christian guy that turns out to not be. It is not your fault. You followed your heart. He changed; not you. ((((big hugs))))!!

December 27, 2005
9:35 pm
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lita
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mama, Thank you, I wish this hurt would go away you know. I feel like when I take 2 steps forward I get kicked back 4 steps. I wish I had better luck in love. Sometimes i think there is noone for me.

December 27, 2005
9:54 pm
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Anonymous
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Lita,

I know this won't help the hurt go away - but perhaps this is a blessing in disguise - and a lesson in disguise.

Perhaps this guy was sent as a way to get you to open up to the idea of dating again - to rebuild your hope and trust.

And perhaps he wasn't the man you were "meant" to be with - but a practice run - without being close enough for you to get too attached to, too quickly.

And perhaps it was a lesson on how to date again - without getting too caught up in it, or putting the kids at risk.

This guy was too far away for you to realistically up and move for - for you to get too swept away in - for you to give up everything for....maybe it was just a trial run?...something to teach you how to love and be hopeful and also balance your boys' needs.

I know it hurts - and the cliche about it not being meant to be won't fix it....but know that there are more cliche's I can find - like other fish in the see and such.

In the end, it's okay to feel hurt, let down and disappointed - dating is like that....if my relationship does end, I won't be rushing out into the dating world any time soon - I don't think I could deal with the pain and confusion right now.

December 29, 2005
2:52 pm
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lita
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alicat, It is so good to here from you. I know you are right. It just hurt me. It kinda makes me scared to even think about trying to date or see people. Sometimes i do wonder if there really are any good men left. How have you been? How was your holiday? I miss you good to here from you sweetie.

December 29, 2005
2:59 pm
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Anonymous
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Lita,

my holiday was a little disappointing, but overall, I made the best of it and enjoyed the day.

We had an awesome christmas dinner with my brother and his GF and her mom and overall, it wasn't too bad.

I am doing okay. Each day has it's ups and downs, but overall, I am surviving. Working hard to get to the day that I am more than surviving and actually LIVING!

I know it sucks to think about the dating thing again. There ARE good men out there. I truly think you will not find them online however. I did the online dating things for many many years and I came up empty handed. I think the success stories are rare.

But chin up - when you are meant to find the right guy, you will...have faith...and don't rush!

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