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"It's Not my Problem To FIX (fill-in-the-blank) relationship!!!!!
October 5, 2008
8:20 pm
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truthBtold
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September 27, 2010
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Recently, I realized just HOW MUCH TIME & ENERGY I have spent in trying to fix other people's relationships!!!!!!

First and foremost - my parents'. Then my sisters. Then my fiancee's.

What a waste!!!!!!

I have often heard the old addage to take responsibility for my own life (with usuallya condemnation twist to it....)

But now I realize - well....FIRST OFF - I have to finally FEAL with this almost automatice sense to try and NOT TRY to "FIX" other's problems first.

Once that major stumbling block is out of the way (that I have no control over....ANYWAY....)

Hell, just taking responsibility for my own life is just a natural given - you know?

Geesh - how much time and energy I spent unneedlessly!

Bottom Line: Not my problem to fix to begin with. So why burden myself in a no-win siituation?

geesh!

October 5, 2008
11:21 pm
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determined4change
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Hey truth, I was just reading about this tonight in Codependency No More. I find myself amazed at how intense my codependency was and still is. I'm a therapist so it is natural for me to want to fix other people's problems. I have a hard time finding that boundary between trying to help and trying to control. Then, I have to remember not to take it personally when my help is rejected. I realized also that we have to forgive ourselves too. Just wanted to say I understand what you're talking about and offering (hugs).

October 6, 2008
4:45 am
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ms.Q
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Well, I can only say that you have such a big heart. It's not my job though but at times, I find myself similar to your situation. I feel bad when people are upset and I end up doing things just to make it right. You can try to put a border so you'd know when enough is enough... I know it's difficult but don't you feel great whenever an issue is resolved? I do. Just think about it.

October 6, 2008
1:36 pm
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atalose
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I learned that I have a talent for fixing things, but other people is not one of them.

I learned that by focusing on other people problems, I lost myself.

I learned that life is short to wait for someone else to “get it”.

I could go on and on but the bottom line is that when “I” became the number one priority in my life “instead of “we” or “him” or “them”, things got much, much better.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

October 6, 2008
1:55 pm
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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TBT...WELL SAID!!!

October 7, 2008
2:44 pm
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Giggles_29
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(((TBT)))) Very well said. I too have realized lately just how codependent I really have been, not just in my own relationship, my friends and familes also. I am right there with you.

Here's to making change, " It's not my problem to fix anyone else's relationship, other than my relationship with myself" !!!!!!!

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