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It's me again and i really need some help
December 23, 2003
10:54 am
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ebonyphoenix
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hi everyone, remember me with the e-mail address and college troubles. Well anyway,I'm back home nnow and I am sorry to say that it is not a happy feeling or place to be for me. My family is full of tension. No one likes each other and they won't talk about it.I live with my grandparents so it's even worse because they're old and the generation gap just messes everything up. They depress me so i always go out.When i do it's a problem. Besdies that, they don't understan the pressures I am going through in college.Why? Because they don't care to. My mother is even worse because she is alreay for me to not make it. Soright now I am at my last thread (lol) because all of this pressure and no support is stressing me out. Anyone with someencouraging words are welcomed.

December 23, 2003
10:57 am
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mj
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Breathe and repeat the Serenity prayer.

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Hugs dear one.

December 23, 2003
1:15 pm
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ebony

I understand the pressures you are going through in college.

Remember that you are not going to college for them. You are going for you. This is your future.

They may resent the fact that you are in control of your future. They may resent the fact your future looks so much brighter than theirs ever did. they may resent the fact that you are doing something they did not choose to do.

A college education opens so many doors of opportunity.

those who say college is not something they can do are wrong. Anybody with an average IQ can succeed. It takes dedication. They may resent your dedication.

These resentments are their issues. I know they affect you as you'd really appreciate some support in climbing what sometimes feels like Mt. Everest. If they are not supporting you it is because they can't. Their issues prevent them from doing so.

Seek support where it can be found. Study groups. Study partners. Here.

You're probably on break. If you need to study, do so. If they take up arms, head for the library. No need to confront them as that will just add more stress. Just do what you need to do. Feel sorry for them as you do it and know that you will be showing your entire family that a college education is in fact available to those who seek it.

Do members of your family hold degrees?

free

December 23, 2003
1:25 pm
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Oh, I want you to know how much you are supported here.

If you happen to have a take-home exam in math, post here the problems that you may be stuck on. I might not be able to present a solution immediately, but odds are pretty good I can help, and would love to.

Part of a college education is learning survival skills. Instructors and professors will throw into the middle of the Pacific to teach you that you either or do, or don't, have it within you to swim around long enough to find an island.

this means making connections. On the net, at school, in your neighborhood, previous teachers, etc.

take home exams are often a plunge into the pacific.

I can help with math. I've a BS in applied math, so I can help with Algebra, Geometry, trig, differential calculus, integral calculus, mutivariable calc, differential equations, linear algebra, partial diffy Q's, engineering math, advanced calculus, complex variables, statistics, combinatorics, stuff like that.

Just post a problem! fun fun fun for free free free!

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December 23, 2003
7:14 pm
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Squeezles
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Crikey, free! I wish I knew you when I was struggling with Pure Maths 101 in first year. That subject very nearly killed me!

I've been a Uni student for 8 years now (almost there, almost there!). It is definately hard, especially when you don't have support, but it is definately do-able. I'd say your family is jealous of you. Jealous that you had the foresight to do something that's going to secure your future and the strength to go for it. It takes a lot of motivation, determination, stamina and guts - not to mention a lot of stress, late nights and good ol' fashioned blood, sweat and tears. All you can do is take each day as it comes. If you muck up an exam or an assignment, you mucked it up. You don't have time to stress about it because if you do you're not focusing on the next exam or assignment. Keep looking forward. At the end of the day, keep reminding yourself WHY you are doing this. Write it down and put it somewhere prominent in your study area. I've seen a lot of students fail and succeed (as a student and as a tutor) and without a doubt those that succeed are those that are doing this FOR THEMSELVES. It's nice to have your familys approval and support, but ultimately you won't last if you're not happy with what you're doing and you're doing this because YOU want to succeed, because YOU want a better future.

So what are you studying and how much longer do you have to go?

December 23, 2003
10:46 pm
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ebonyphoenix
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First, thanks everyone for the words. I am a freshman and I am studying social work with a minor in political science.MJ I live by that prayer. Sometimes it really just gets me through the day. It's nice to know that I am not the only one who uses it. Free you will definitely be hearing from me with math because i have it this semester. Squeezles , you are so right and i am beginning to realize that everyday that everything i do now is for me and should be what i want not done to appease others.

December 24, 2003
2:10 am
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You've definitely got the right perspective ebony.

I so wanted to go home this past week. My kids are with their dad until Christmas day. This year has been a bit tough on me emotionally and consequently my family.

I love them deeply and them me. But.....I have this internet class that I just have to finish up within the next week or so and needed to take this time to do that.

The pressures of college just never cease as do required sacrifices to achieve educational goals. But the rewards are so great.

You hang tough right now ebony. Freshman year is by far the most difficult. You are young, and the demands are nothing like you have ever known. You make it through this semester . You make it. Because then, the rest is history.

Pompum Circumstances here comes ebony!

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