Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
It's here again
May 28, 2007
1:42 pm
Avatar
justonce
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Those feelings are here again. Feeling so bad about myself. I can't stop the bad thoughts. Such bad thoughts.
I've been in counciling off and on for over 20 years. Been on many different meds. I'm so tired of all this.
All my life I've felt less than other people like everybody knows something that I can't figure out. I don't know how it started. My parents were wonderful. I was never abused. I've just always felt like I was not good enough.
I wouldn't be here at All About Counceling if I didn't really need some help.

May 28, 2007
2:04 pm
Avatar
fantas
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Justonce, I understand the feelings of inadequacy. I too have them and for the longest time, I didn't understand why I felt this way. I am good looking, well educated, articulate and all those other things but yet I used to and still do (although not as often)feel them. I have come to understand now that it started in my upbringing, my mother was very abusive, although I never connected the two, I am from a very religious background (Christian) which in my perception taught me that I was sinful and I had to alway keep trying to be better otherwise I go to hell. The education system is also competitive and ranks people according to performance, and let's not mention the soceity that portrays that good things often happen to people who look a certain way, do certain things etc. There are so many things out there that can cause us to start feeling insecure even if our family backgrounds a good. In the end though, I find that I have to be my own cheer leader. Earlier on, I started keeping a log of all the thoughts that I'd have about myself and I saw just negative my thoughts were, then for every thought, I'd actually write a list of what was actually true. For example, I'd be thinking that I am not intelligent enough to do something...then I'd write a list of all the things I did that were intelligent and slowly but surely, my thinking began to change. Now every time I have a negative thought, I rebattle it with a list of positive thoughts. I also found that it's important for me to take time and do things to love myself. If I neglect doing this for a while, I find my thoughts beginning to get negative. I used affirmation quotes and pasted them all over my house. These are some of the things that have helped me. I hope you can learn to manage your thoughts...Keep posting

May 28, 2007
2:08 pm
Avatar
mj
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Justonce, I can totally relate to having bad thoughts. Some days it seems like that is all that dwells in my mind. I am glad you are reaching out for support.

Just recently I started attending Depressed Anonymous support meetings. It is helping me to realize that the thoughts I choose to think, even those thoughts that I am not good enough, are my choice. Sometimes the pain of these thoughts are more comforting then trying to change them. What do you do that is fun in your life? I created a Bliss list to help me get out of my self created funk. Maybe it can help you too.

Activity 1: BLISS LIST

Whip out a piece of paper and something to write with. Make a list of everything you love. I mean everything. Don’t stop writing until you have at least 50 things, and shoot for 100! To get started, think about the 5 senses and then keep going from there.

What smells do you love? What sounds? What do you love to taste? What textures feel fabulous on your fingers? Write them down. Once you are rolling on those, think next of things you love, such as puppies, cars, ink pens, or Tuscan villas. Whatever things float your boat. Then move on to activities you like to do. How about favorite people, even those you’ve never met, but admire? How about favorite places to visit? You get the idea. Just keep writing!

Do you have at least 50? Good. Now go through your list and circle the things that you love but don’t yet have in your life. Your circled items can become the basis for your WANT list.

Put a star or a check mark next to the things you love and already have in your life. Use those items as a reminder of what you are grateful for. Read this list whenever the desire strikes you, and add to it as more things come to mind!

May 28, 2007
2:13 pm
Avatar
justonce
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Fantas,
When I'm feeling these things it's so hard to find something good or true about myself that I can accept as fact. I'm going to try to keep busy for now. Thanks for your thoughts.

May 28, 2007
2:15 pm
Avatar
justonce
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks mj

May 28, 2007
2:24 pm
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think that you need to remember something. Everyone has these feelings at some point whether they have had wonderful parents or not. Because people can be cruel whether it was kids at school when you were younger or the fact that you didn't get a particular job or even just a dirty look from someone. especially if you suffer from depression. The important thing to realize is that no one knows something that you don't. Your life is your life and no one can tell you that you are living it right or wrong. IT just is and in order to find a balance in life, you have to accept that you shouldn't punish yourself for the things you're feeling because you aren't wrong. You're just you. If you think you are the only one who is depressed, you aren't. I spent three years of my life cutting on myself and then tried to commit suicide. But the point is that I am ok now. Because I am ok with not being ok. I am who I am. Depressed or happy, angry or undecided. And everyone else also goes through the range of emotions that you feel and that I feel. So be ok with not being ok.

May 28, 2007
3:02 pm
Avatar
fantas
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Justonce...for starters, can you take a moment to appreciate the fact that you took the time to express your feelings on this site. You took care of yourself. That is something to hang onto for today. Even keeping busy is doing what you need to do, which is taking care of yourself as well. I know exactly where you are at. It will get better:)

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
31
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111165
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
anissafield, Aemorph, CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information