Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
IT'S FINALLY OVER....from ready
February 21, 2005
4:18 pm
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well, God was with me today. We reached a settlement and the divorce is final. I'm happy with the things we agreed on...mostly with the fact that the kids only spend the night with him 4 days per month (the standard is 8), and only spend 4 weeks in the summer with him (the standard is 6). We also worked mandatory counseling sessions into the agreement. The custody arrangements were my biggest worry, so those came out exactly where I wanted them.

I also came out ahead in the financial category, too. STBX accepted MY appraisals of the house which were substantially less than his, agreed to accept the loan I will have to repay to my mother for his car, and agreed to leave a credit card debt in the mix that covers my attorney's fees. He gets the big pieces of property that he wanted, which is fine with my. He bought them all without my input, so he can have them. I still have to pay him a substantial amount of money when I refinance the house, and he gets most of the cash in our savings. BUT I'm free!

Part of me really wanted his deposition to be taken. The court reporter was there, waiting. The lawyers certainly witnessed what an ass he can be...his temper flared several times over stupid things. I think his lawyer knew that having him testify would be suicide....he'd make a horrible witness. But I would have enjoyed listening to him answer the questions my lawyer had drafted....and try to explain his behavior which is totally irrational.

ANYWAY....I'm done, and I know I did the right thing, and I know my kids and I will be okay. I WILL SURVIVE, and I have my life back. Thanks to EVERYONE who supported me, prayed for me, and listened to me. I can't tell you how much it has meant to me.

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE!

Anyone care to toast to that with me?

February 21, 2005
4:24 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ready,

May I be the first to congratulate yu on this finality! Now to read your post (I wanted to be the first)

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

Sew

February 21, 2005
4:30 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi ready...and doesn't it feel GREAT? Glad it all worked out, good to see your faith in all of this, and congrats!!

February 21, 2005
4:32 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Okay I'm toasting to you, lady! Cheers!!!!!!

So you got out of it fine. Good going for you. Now you can make concrete plans ahead. I know how it is just being in libo is frustrating.

How long ago did you file? Mine has been almost a year. Too long.

Update: mine asked and is receiving negotioans! Ouch! This guy has been union pres. 10 years ou of 20 and negotiated the NEA retirement contract. And I am supposed to go up against that? Little sweet kind me? Scarry.

Again, am happy that part of your life is past and now onto your own free life with your children!!!!!!

Sew

February 21, 2005
5:07 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ready: Fantastic. I've got the champagne and crystal glasses- here's to you. What a relief for you. I know you were stressing over the appraisals- I'm so glad things worked out in the end. And thats great about the custody arrangements too. Hooray for you!! SD

February 21, 2005
5:10 pm
Avatar
tooscared
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 21
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm so happy for you Ready. You were confident going into this today and it was with very good reason. I truly hope all of the arrangements that were made will be followed through by your ex. I can understand why the custody arrangements and all would be of greatest importance to you. I hope the financial isn't too bad once you refinance your home. I would hate for you to lose most of your savings to this man, but I also know you are glad to be finished with him.

Thanks for letting all of us know and I'm toasting for joy with you right now!

Love, TS

February 21, 2005
5:26 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Congrats, Ready!

I hope you will find all you deserve, and have worked so hard in this lifetime to earn!

Love to you,

Ren'ai

February 21, 2005
5:31 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Ready!!! I am raising my glass now for the toast!! i am so glad things are done, and worked out and wishing you the best down the road.
(((camer)))

February 21, 2005
5:45 pm
Avatar
workinonit
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whooo Hooo Ready!!! that is the best news of the day!!!!!

I knew it work out for you and I am so happy for you. You have no idea what it feels like over here!!! I feel sort of vindicated about my own treatment and now I can celebrate with you and let it all go!!! Thanks darlin, feels good.

My champagne glass is in the air for you!

(((((((((((((HAPPY HAPPY HUGS))))))))))))

February 21, 2005
8:33 pm
Avatar
Tumbleweed8
Member
Members

Members
Forum Posts: 29
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

A toast from me, too, Ready, cheers! I know this has to feel like a major relief for you now and I'm happy for you. You certainly have earned this day and to come out ahead and I hope the rest of it all works out, too. Love and Hugs!

February 21, 2005
9:47 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cheers ready... God bless, all the best for the future!!!

Love,

Rasputin

February 21, 2005
10:18 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ready:

Congrats to you. The cloud has lifted. Smooth sailing from here.

February 22, 2005
12:58 am
Avatar
ladyvirgo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Congratulations, Ready!
You are a STAR!

You are stepping away from the old and are already looking to your future.

How wonderful!! I'm so happy for you!

ladyv

February 22, 2005
3:28 am
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you all so much! It was really a good day, and I accomplished exactly what I wanted to accomplish. To answer your question, sew, it has been almost exactly 4 months since I filed, so things went very quickly. I thank God for that, because I don't know how much more of this I could have endured!

One final thing before I sign the papers....I really want to take my maiden name back. Anyone out there with kids have a comment or input about that? My son isn't too thrilled about having a different name than me, but I don't really want to keep my married name. I have to make the final decision soon, before the papers are ready to be signed. I just don't want to do anything that will be hard on my kids in the long run....

February 22, 2005
6:21 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

my friend who was divorced last year went thru the same issue, she wanted her maiden name back, but her son was thrilled either about having different last names....she decided for her son's sake to keep her married name, and then when the son turns 18 she will most likely take her maiden name back, just a thought.

February 22, 2005
7:31 am
Avatar
willitgetbetter
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

well done Ready, i'm raising a glass (of water!!!Yuk!) to you. You have been through so much to get this far. All your efforts and determination have now paid off. Best news of the day.

February 22, 2005
12:27 pm
Avatar
bangles
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 16
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ready! So glad for you! Yes...a toast to you! You can finally move on and I, too, know you will be just fine. Bet you feel like a weight's been lifted. Bangles

February 22, 2005
4:37 pm
Avatar
lostinkfo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ready...A toast to new beginnings....

February 22, 2005
6:04 pm
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Okay, still contemplating what to do about changing my name or not...but I have a bigger decision to make and I need everyone's help.

I filed for a restraining order back in November after my STBX voluntarily left the house, turned over his keys, and then broke the front door down one afternoon. He had issued threats, so I locked extra locks on the door...anyway, as a part of the final settlement, he wants me to drop the restraining order.

Those of you who know the things he's done in the past few years, his history with alcohol and anxiety disorder, verbal abuse, manipulation, etc.....do you think I should drop the restraining order or not?

February 22, 2005
10:19 pm
Avatar
the_real_me
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Absolutely not!! Just because you are divorced doesn't mean he has changed. In fact, it might make matters worse since you got what you wanted from him. Think about it seriously and if there is one twinge of doubt, DON'T DO IT!

February 22, 2005
10:32 pm
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

the_real_me....thanks, I needed to hear that.

I actually know in my heart that it wouldn't be the right thing to do; I wouldn't feel safe in my own house.

I called my lawyer earlier and told him no way on dropping the restraining order. Just not ready to do that yet....

thanks for the input.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
53
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110959
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38560
Posts: 714252
Newest Members:
charli55, SeaG1ant, shawncanwe, lianot, dagaf, duminy
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information