Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
is true love a mirage?
March 7, 2005
4:42 pm
Avatar
blueman
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

my heart hurts

March 7, 2005
5:04 pm
Avatar
infinity
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

All the disappointments and all the fantasies we have about what love is starts from loving yourself. I am trying to love myself right now and find it very difficult. I have betrayed my own thoughts and feelings to satisfy someone I love and lost myself. I still choose to believe that love exists but only when we are truly ready. This does not mean it always lasts or stays the same but what does. If loving hurts than it probably isn't the love you are looking for or need. Hope you stop hurting soon!

March 7, 2005
5:11 pm
Avatar
addicts wife
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Blueman....
I know how heartache is.. Ive been feeling like my whole life hurts these days,and that someone/thing keeps shaking my snowglobe as SOON as it all starts to settle.
But like infinity said It's imprtant ot take really good care of yourself FIRST, and foremost, as challenging as that may be for a lot of us, It helps in not leaving room for things you dont want.

March 7, 2005
5:27 pm
Avatar
blueman
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I believe that I do love myself, and I feel almost that I have so much
love to give that my heart hurts. Every time I have found someone that
I felt I could, or did fall in love with, the feeling never seemed to be
really mutual, or the other person was incapable of dealing with a relationship. This has led me in the past to "settle" for people that loved me, and whom I cared about but never truly loved.

I consider myself to be an attractive, intelligent guy, and believe that I would make the right one the happiest woman on earth. It always seems just out of reach, which frustrates the hell out of me. I don't think I've ever experienced true mutual love, at least never for more than a fleeting moment.

March 7, 2005
6:18 pm
Avatar
hopeful for change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

well blueman, you are not alone in your feelings. I am coming to realize alot of things about myself. I always thought I loved myself, but I don't think I did. Atleast I sure wasn't showing it. If I look at clearly, I have neglected myself, physically financially emotionally and in other ways. I wouldn't treat anyone else like that.

I always have felt that I have given so much to others and not gotten mine back in return and eventually get mad or hurt. How dare them!!! How dare me!! I've done the same things to myself that I can't beleive the one I love would do to me!!!

Even now when I am realizing all these things, I still wonder why my husband doesn't give me the love I need and want. His love shouldn't make or break me.

I have repeated patterns to of finding relationships with people who are uncapable or unwilling to fulfill my needs.

Thats why I am here, I am trying to heal and love myself, and fix me and take care of me..as I would someone else.

Hope I didn't ramble to much.

March 7, 2005
10:52 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi blueman,
care to tell what the process is like...by that i mean, what is the relationship like before it ends, and how does it end...is the same way with each person, or differnt?

March 8, 2005
12:59 am
Avatar
Guest
Guests

aawww blueman.

are you sure you never experienced true mutual love? in my humble opinion: you can never truly know what is in the heart of another.

i'm sad your heart hurts. mine does too.

i hope yours sees warmer days soon.
((hugs))
-ella

March 8, 2005
1:42 am
Avatar
blueman
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

OMW, well I've had 3 long term relationships in my life so far, and I think
it is the first one that set the tone for the other two. My heart was
truly open then and I fell in love with her. She would never treat me
as much of a priority in her life, with almost everything else being
more important than me. It took me 3.5 years of heartache before I realised
the she was never going to love me, or show that she loved me even a fraction
of the way I felt about her.

Since then without realising it, I have been in relationships where that
issue was closed from the beginning as it was clear to me that the other person
was falling in love with me. In both of those cases, my instincts told me in
the beginning almost that something wasn't right in my feelings for them
and no matter how much time I gave it or tried to convince myself otherwise,
I simply didn't fall in love, or truly give them my heart. The natural conclusion
being in both cases that I broke their hearts.

The first of those two seemed to take it quite badly, and even though almost
5 years has passed since then, I still feel bad about the way it ended. The
most recent I moved in with and almost married, until I came to my senses.
The breakup process was less sudden, though I suspect not much less painful for her.
I decided that I would not repeat those mistakes again and my next relationship
would be only with someone that I truly felt I could fall in love with.

I don't want to mislead anyone else anymore, but more importantly I want to be
able to give of myself naturally and that will only happen if I meet someone
who I sense those feelings for from the start.

mzr - I know what you mean, I have also had an "attempted" relationship with someone
in the past year with someone who I am powerfully attracted to but who has been
suffering emotional problems for almost 3 years now, which prevents her from displaying
her feelings for me, or dealing with a relationship. At the end of the day though, no
matter what is going on in the other person's heart, if they are incapable of showing it
you will never truly be able to bask in the warmth of their feelings. I'm not sure which is
worse. Big Hug.....and a sloppy kiss....blue.

March 8, 2005
1:00 pm
Avatar
kathygy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Stay away from woman who aren't going to love you. You can tell early on how mutual the relationship is. Don't waste your time if its not mutual from the begining. Then you can make room for someone who you can have mutual feelings with. It better not to be in a relationship than to be in the wrong one. Keep working on yourself.

March 8, 2005
10:28 pm
Avatar
LthrNlace
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hey blueman..by the way I love the name, reminds me of the Blue Man Group show I saw in Vegas...highly recommended! 😉

Anyways! I know how your heart hurts, hurts so much its burned in your very core of your soul, at least thats how I feel. Feels like mutual love is always outta reach, like someone has it tied on a string on a stick and when I reach out to grasp it..it's swiped away in an instant. I thought I finally found an amazing true mutual love, but due to a variety of circumstances, I am believing that it will not work out like I so prayed it would.

I decided to stop pursuing it so much. I am young, and what is meant to happen will happen. I believe we can only help fate so much, the rest is destiny, serendipity (dont u love that word!?)

Focus on other ways that bring you love, hapiness and joy. I am working on my career and other parts of ME. Meanwhile letting life flow the way it will. I am working on learning that I can not control every part of life, good..bad...heartbreak..joy..its all going to happen to everyone. No one suffers more or less than anyone else, all those emotions are part of human nature, just have to do do our best to survive..not JUST survive..but LIVE.

Anyways, Im rambling now I think, and maybe none of this is relevant! I hope your heart heals and you find love!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
41
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110907
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38534
Posts: 714189
Newest Members:
819Zeed, odin83, sendlv, ViolentFighterBrownCaveman, kbrfDazy, traceyob69
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer