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Is this domestic violence???????
March 27, 2009
11:26 am
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Terriberry
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September 27, 2010
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Oh and I almost forgot, yes.. I think that the actual empolyment options vs... what is perceived is denfintely different.

What kinda job you looking for ?

March 27, 2009
11:26 am
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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tbt...you and i have both been on this site for years, and I just want to let you know that, i care, and i do hope things work out for the best for YOU....yes, a hard pill to swallow, life throws us curves and challenges, yes it does.....just go with your "gut" on this one and do this for YOU!!!

(((((huge hugs your way)))))

March 27, 2009
6:51 pm
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Terriberry
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Bumping for (((TBT))).

April 9, 2009
8:14 pm
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truthBtold
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bump.

Update.

First off, I just want to say HOW MUCH I appreciate everyone's sincere support!

Really, I do. From the bottom of my heart!!!!!

We talked about this heart-to heart.

He had no idea that doing that set me back 20 years or so.

Matter of fact, I told him that I was starting to feel nervous and jittery around him and he sincerely and remorsefully apologized over and over.

For once in my life, I believed someone.

Then, after that, I had kind of a seizure of sorts.

It was like.....my feelings were all of a sudden being 'unlocked' and I just shook and jerked and damn near foamed at the mouth.

He had no idea and really comforted me.

Since then, we have both come to realize where we have crossed the lines.

See, he had just come back from seeing his ex-wife and I think that he transferred alot of his anger and frustration from that relationship unto me.

Likewise, I was acting in a very controlling way to the point where he felt that he was walking on eggshells around me as well.

So....time will tell.

I feel that we are both closer because of it.....both accepting responsibilty for our own actions.

I know - one of my issues has been to always see things/relationships in black and white terms.

I have ALWAYS been the one to break things off for fear of abandonment my whole life.

ALWAYS!!!!

Odd thing is, during this time, I have had some incredible dreams!!!!

I mean - roller-coaster type where the feelings just have a real hay-day - you know?

EXTREMELY symbolic where the sub-conscious goes just fricking, fracking wild on me!!!!!

Healing dreams, I have come to realize.

I guess I have to weigh the good with the bad and he as well - because let's face it, If I am to be really honest here......I don;t really feel as if I am 'pulling me weight here' as far as the finances are concerned.

Alot of times he comes home and the dishes/laundry/etc.. haven't been done in days and I have been drinking to excess sometimes.

So, it is a two-way street.

We are both just human.

I hope that I do not sound as if I am making excuses for his behavior.....or do I?

I am just starting to think that I have contributed to this frustrating time as well.........given his perspective as well.

All in all, I feel that this has brought us closer.

Perhaps my comments insomuch as him being a 'wimp' sort of speak might really be a reflection - not so much about him - perse....but by my being a wimp as well....you know that saying - somethimes the thing that we despise in someone else....is really just a reflection of our own short-comings - only we just don't want to really fess up to it.....you know?

I dunno.

Keeping my options, heart and mind open to the real truth.......

....and relaying on the wise, dream factor to set my butt straight.....

sigh.

Time will tell, I reckon........

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