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is this considered sexual abuse as a child
March 18, 2006
8:55 am
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codyrn
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An 11 yr old boy is coherced to performing oral sex on his so called "friend" who is 15yr old for candy. If the 11 yr old does not perform he is threatened with "the whole town being told "

The 15 yr old is now 45 and then 11 yr old is 40 with a struggle of issues that continue (this is not me BTW)

To me this is a blatant violation ....anytime someone is threatened or bribed it is a violation....the age is meaningless.

To note the 45 year old as an adult has been involved in organizations that revolve around boys...up until a few years ago.

I think it is sexual assault ....and it is significant if the 40 yr old has a long standing history of pronography issues, drug abuse, etc etc....

Should the parents of the 11 yr old be told about this issue ....even though it's 25 years later....
Comments anyone ?

March 18, 2006
10:02 am
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garfield9547
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codyrn

This man is 40 years old. Telling his parents would not be wise.

He is old enough to go for therapy to sort out his past. This would be his decision to do or not.

Just a thought

Garfield

March 18, 2006
3:20 pm
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RDeckard
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When I was six I was abused (sodomised)by the husband of a friend of my mother. I screamed the house down and my mother and her friend became very cross with the man. I am 44 yrs old and have never forgotten it. It does not blight my life and it certainly not enhanced my mum's friend's life, just wrecked it. Still are you condoning it by keeping quiet?

March 18, 2006
3:26 pm
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Randomwomen2
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have you seen a counsler about this?

March 18, 2006
4:04 pm
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garfield9547
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rdeckard

you said:

When I was six I was abused (sodomised)by the husband of a friend of my mother. I screamed the house down and my mother and her friend became very cross with the man

You were ONLY 6 and all your mother did was getting very cross!!!!!!!!!

Did you go for counselling????

Did you feel your mother handled this in an appropiate manner???

I believe every child should speak up and if they are to young they should have a mother to protect them.

The thread above is about a man thats 40 years old. So his parents are say 65 years old.
I do not know if it would be of any good if they came to here of what has happened.
I think they might be too old to realy be helpful.

Just a thought,

Garfield

March 18, 2006
4:05 pm
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whidbey
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The 40-yo is an adult. It is his issue to deal with as he sees fit. If someone had run around telling my problem and issues around town, especially before I had had time to deal with it in counseling, I would have been deeply hurt and majorly p.o.'d.

March 18, 2006
4:06 pm
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whidbey
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Oh, and yes, it major sexual abuse...

March 18, 2006
4:16 pm
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Anonymous
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I was abused by my uncle when I was 5yrs old, he was 14yrs...for years I tried to justify it since he was not an adult. Didn't work, and has taken alot of therapy to work through and will take more....there is no justification in this.Period.

March 19, 2006
8:56 am
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hopeful for change
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I believe if a child molests another child, they were probably a victim themselves.

March 19, 2006
11:11 am
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exoticflower
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There is a tremendous difference between an 11 year olds understanding of things and a 15 year olds. Where it two 11 year olds I could see where there may be SOME cincideration given to the fact that they are children--but a 15 year old is a high school aged teenager, an 11 year old is a child who would be scared of disaproval or humiliation for a 'big kid'.
Of course it is sexual abuse, BLATANT sexual abuse, molestation. ANd it was conciously done by a young MAN, not a child.

March 19, 2006
11:15 am
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Anonymous
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I think it is true that most abusers have been abused themselves, but the focus here is on the 11yr old. He needs to know that he was not responsible, and to call it for what it was. Sexual abuse. Sorry if I seem short, it took me a long time to accept my uncle as an adult that knew what he was doing, but the relief...and letting go of the guilt was a huge step for me.

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