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Is plain listening good enough?
August 24, 2001
3:00 am
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desalt
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September 29, 2010
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I always listen to my friends' problems but I felt very bad whenever I am not able to provide any advises.
Some friends said a depressed person only need someone to listen to their problems and that is good enough. But is it?
Do these people just want to talk only?
Will giving advises make them feel we are judgemental coz we are not them, we will never know what they are feeling.
How does one console someone who is very affected by the death of a very close loved one?
Thank you for any help.

August 24, 2001
2:48 pm
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gypsygirl
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personaly, I hate it when someone tries to give me advice, unless I ask for it. As for the death, it helped me to just be in the same house with someone else. To just know that another living soul was there with me.
Dont be afraid to bring up the subject of the death with this person, I bet they are just "dying" to speak to anyone about it. They proably are holding back for fear that everyone else is afraid to talk about it. I know this because my son died five years ago.

August 26, 2001
2:03 pm
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Windslasher
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I do understand that u are feeling a bit lost as is it good enough to just listen. As Listen... has mention, we can't have the answer for all, that is very true. As for ur situation, if u feel that after listening, and u want to give advise, just do it. If not, at least, u know that u are there when they wanted to speak off. That is good enough.

But when u want to give advise, try to put it in the way that it will not hurt other and urself. Over here, I feel that it is good to be a listener as we also gain experience from other, and also know that they have trust me and that why they chosen me to be their listener. So even u can't provide advise, u should feel great to be a listener.

All the best to u.

Regards -Windslasher

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