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Is my marriage falling apart?
November 2, 2000
7:24 pm
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prelude
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Hi, My screen name is prelude and I really need someone to talk to. Here my situation. I was born and raised in Canada and had a lot of friends my whole life... I met this great guy from the US and we fell madly in love. We moved to the US about 6 yeas ago. We have two beautiful girls. We finally have everything, a house, good jobs nice environment for the girls etc... You would think that I should be just happy, but lately, I've been feeling like there is something wrong with my husband... I thought for a while that he was having an affair but I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that I don't think that he is still in love with me.
My whole life just disapeared before my eyes. I don't know what to do. I have absolutly no one to talk to... I don't want to talk to my mother because that she would be too upset... I don't know what to do. If I end my marriage, I would have to move back to Canada which I feel is the only thing keeping my husband with me.(He's afraid I would take the kids to Canada.) I want him to want me to stay for me and not just the kids...
I have no where to go no one to talk to I'm losing it....
I just don't know what to do.
I hope that one of you will have a good idea for me to do...;...
Please HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just don't know what to do, I need someone to be my friend here in my new country.

November 2, 2000
10:13 pm
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Molly
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Talk to him, get physicals, and try counseling. Is he under lots of stress? are you? How balanced is your life, spiritual, emotional,and physical? do you have lots of out side interests? Is it the is that all there is syndrome. When was the last time you had a romantic weekend? Go to the library and read up Men are from Mars type stuff, there is a new book out called Marriage rescue,I think, and I am not real sure but I think his name is Mc Graw by the doctor on Oprah, he is usually on her show, and on her web page I believe, he is very frank. Mary Ann Williams a return to love is good too

November 3, 2000
7:45 pm
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prelude
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Thanks Molly for your response.
We haven't spent a romantic weekend in .... forever....
We have been too busy with children, careers and everything else...
I have been trying to talk to him in the last two days and it usually ends with me in tears and totally discouraged...
He says he is very tired and I believe that he is but I never thought that it would change our life so much. You see he is a cop and has a totally crazy schedule...
He could be working for 20 hours in a row, come home sleep for 5 hours and go back to work for 16hrs.
i never know when he is going to be home or when I can depend on him to help me with the house work or the kids. It is very frustruating.

November 5, 2000
4:16 am
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fall
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Cops are usually under great strss. Seems to me that you and your husband don.t usually communicate with each other about your concerns and hassles..etc and you both reached a point where you need some help. I think there is still time that you can overcome these difficulties before seeking counseling.Talk with each other. Talk about your concerns and how you feel about it.Listen to each other.Try to understand each other from the way each of you sees things and feels towards it. Don't blame or judge or criticize or laugh at or threat ... just talk and listen, both of you.Take your time.

After you both understand each other, you might be able to look for solutions. Try and give us feedback.

Good Luck.

November 8, 2000
7:21 pm
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prelude
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thank you so much for your thoughts.
My husband and I have talked a lot in the last few days. I even showed him this web page and the things I had written. I actually think that it helped. he finally understood how strongly I felt about what I was telling him.
We're going away for the weekend to try and patch things up...
Things are looking good for us...
Once again thanks for everything.
Prelude

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