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Is my fear of death related to my codependency?
February 21, 2004
2:57 pm
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September 29, 2010
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I have a fear of death. I worry and obsess about when it will happen, where it will happen, how it will happen, etc. I am terrified of being alone when it happens, which makes me worried about being alone, in general.

I know my fears are part of my anxiety issues. I feel like I am going to be "punished" because I haven't taken better care of myself. I am overweight, don't get regular exercise, am on HBP medication among my other mood stabilizer meds.

I know one clear answer is to start taking better care of myself; start eating better, exercising, and losing weight. I know I would feel better about myself and my self-esteem would go up. I've been there before. I've lost weight before. I've felt better and stronger and freer. Getting started is the hard part. Getting motivated is the hard part. I'm stuck in a habit right now. But I am wondering if it's a habit of feeling like crud. I don't always feel good about myself and I wonder if my lifestyle just reflects that. Is the way I take care of myself (or don't, for that matter) a reflection of how I feel inside?

But back to the first question. Could this fear of death, this fear that I will be "punished" for not living healthier, be related to codependency issues? Has anyone else experienced a fear of death?

I also know one way of dealing with the fear is facing it. Face it head on. I am afraid to face it, because I feel it will bring it on. So, I live my life in constant anxiety. Death is not something I can control; it's not something I can plan.

February 22, 2004
9:06 am
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September 29, 2010
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Hi kmshull, I haven't ever obsessed over my own death but I have obsessed about it pertaining to my parents or children, even going so far as imagining the pain, the funeral, etc. I haven't done it in awhile but at one time I was doing it obsessively.

You're right in that we can't control our own death unless we plan it and do it to ourselves. Maybe it's the issue of you not being able to control it that makes you obsess over it. I'm not sure. I also don't know if it has anything to do with codependency. I'm a big help aren't I.

Maybe if you get it in your mind to force yourself to make that important first step in your exercising and healthy eating, the next step will be a little easier. I fall into the same habit of knowing I need to do something, but anxiety takes over, and I keep putting it off until I'm just about nuts!! That's not a polite word to use, but just how I feel. I'm on mood stabilzers, antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds. I sometimes wonder if they even help or just mask the problem.

You said it yourself,,,you've lost weight before and felt good about yourself and know that you can do it. It's just the getting started that's hard. I couldn't agree more, as I am the exact same way. Are you in counseling or have someone you can talk to in person about your fear of death?

February 22, 2004
4:29 pm
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September 27, 2010
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i fear it all the time and iam scared but not worried about it cause i will be with all the people that love me and i will be happy and in a better place and i wont be afraid anymore death is inevetable we cant control it when or how but we can live the best lives that we can before we do go yes iam scared also the not knowing what s beyond scares me

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