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is it the time of year?
December 6, 2003
3:44 pm
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justjane
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have been feeling very very down the last few days....i suppose alot of it IS the time of year, but there is alot of other stuff going on in my life too. wonder if i will ever be strong enough, or at least SMART enough to get myself out of this mess and get on with my life. when i think about how much time i have wasted already, and how each day gone by is another you can't get back....and time goes faster and faster and you loose what is precious. how do you get strong enough to either just go and not look back, or say enough is enough and not cave in? wish there was some kind of pill for it.
i'm just sitting here on the pity pot, i guess, and feeling about as hopeless as i ever have

December 6, 2003
6:27 pm
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mj
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Hugs justjane....I will listen if you need a friend.

December 6, 2003
7:38 pm
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unhappy camper
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What would you like to have in your life that is not there now? Any idea how to get it?

December 6, 2003
7:58 pm
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justjane
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thanks mj, but i really don't know what to say. i'm just having one of those days.
UC, what would i like to have? well, how about someone who loves me as much as i love them? how about being number one in someone's life instead of alwasy number 2? how about having a healthy loving relationship where we are equal partners instead of one being controlling and abusive. what do i not want? what i have right now. a drunk passed out in the bed at 7 o'clock at night. how do i change it? well, that's been my prolem for a long time here...i think my story was on the boards before you came and i really don't want to go into all that again. i usually don't like to talk aout it all, but like i said, it's just one of those nights, and i am having a pity party. maybe it's just the season....i don't know.

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