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Is it normal to feel so angry?
December 29, 2005
7:36 pm
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snapgirl
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September 24, 2010
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I get so mad. I just snap and scream and shout. I never used to get like this (pre my 4yr old) I just find people wind me up. I always want to feel like Ive won, I get so mad and just dwell on the situation if I dont, dreaming up ways to get one up on that person, or my revenge.

Whats the matter with me? Help!

December 30, 2005
12:35 am
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Mishy2sons
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September 27, 2010
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Dear Snapgirl,

I am wondering if some of your moodiness and anger could be hormonal or chemical since before you had your child you didn't experience this rage. I am a true believer in nutritional healing. I think our body chemistry gets thrown off. Sometimes we need prescription medication and sometimes we need nutrients. This is what helps me.

Try a therapy of Vitamin B complex, a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains etc. and low on all processed foods, white flour, white rice, white sugar or corn syrup. Try "eating clean," that is, eat whole and natural foods and meals prepared with them. Choose lean meats and proteins or go vegetarian or vegan for a while.

Also, try light therapy this time of the year. You can try to get outside in the sunlight, sit by a window or use a full spectrum lamp. Exercise will help too. If you don't have time try a program like Jorge Cruise's "Minutes in the Morning." Even with a 4-year old, you can spare 8 mintutes.

Sometimes, anger can be a mask for depression (often a chemical imbalance). It is easier to feel rage than hurt. When we hurt, we sometimes react in anger.

Anger isn't necessarily bad or wrong. It is a legitimate human emotion. When we are wronged or witness a wrong, naturally we feel angry. We just have to be careful with what we do with our anger. We need to use our anger to make changes for the better.

Think about why winning the battle or getting the last word is so important to you right now. Do you feel powerless? Are you afraid of losing yourself? Can you agree to disagree with your opponant and walk away?

You may also want to consider an herbal product called kava kava, which is known to ease anxiety. Do not use kava kava if you have any family or personal history of liver or kidney disfunction. Kava can be used safely but continuous use and large doses of kava have been linked to organ damage similar to that of alcohol abuse.

December 30, 2005
12:45 am
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Lass
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Around here, we try not to bandy about the word normal, given how few of us can claim that status! However, I think that our own childhoods come home to visit us when we have our own kids. We become our own mothers.

I would suggest picking up some resource books on parenting, and asking for another mom on your street to be a MOMMY time-out cover for you.

You are fine. None of us is going to tell you how awful we have been to our own kids, but we have. Keep working on it, though: don't just repeat the pattern and hand it down the line to your daughter.

LL

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