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is it me or the boss?
October 23, 2008
8:00 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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a few months ago I was afraid of being fired for incompetence. Seems like my boss had nothing but complaints. Now she's prasing even the tiniest thing I do. had me do a presentation on something I'd been taught by one of her cronies last year. Funny though, I feel as stressed out by her praise now as I was by her criticisms few months ago. why??????? Can't I just heave a sigh a relief and enjoy it?

October 23, 2008
11:24 pm
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atalose
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I know with me it’s not comfortable hearing praise or compliments. I became so used to hearing criticism that hearing anything positive didn’t sit well with me, made me uncomfortable and kind of un-trusting of if it was true or not.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

October 24, 2008
3:04 am
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Shep
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Is it possible your boss attended a training class and has gotten hyped up on how far praise can go versus criticism? How do you feel personally about your performance? She's being watched too, so there could be something up. Supervising is hard. I hope the change in her is honest.

Shep

October 24, 2008
2:23 pm
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samantha2
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I could be wrong, Tiger Trainer, but the great difference from being criticized to being praised would raise my anxiety level somewhat and make me wonder what's up. It would throw me off balance a bit. Time will tell if it's sincere or not.

I agree with Shep on both counts - either one of those suggestions sounds realistic. Supervising is hard - so many judgment calls - and you can't always be right, even when you are trying to do the right thing.

If you know you are doing a good job, following all your company rules, and have a decent relationship with most other people around you, then try not to take anything too personally, but document any interactions you think might be important - positive or negative.

Sending some compliments in return wouldn't hurt either if you think they are appropriate. It would build a positive relationship and even grumpy supervisors like to hear a kind word now and then. It makes them want to be nicer more often

October 24, 2008
3:09 pm
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on my way
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Hi TT,
Boy can I relate to what you are going through.

Maybe your boss has had a change of heart. I know with me, that I stay stressed at work. I used to brag about my boss but this past year it has been pure h*** working with him, mostly due to his stress level here at my office, and then how he manages or responds to others as a result of that high stress level. In my opinion thugh, no one in a management position should ever take their anger or stress out on others.

Consequently I have had to re-evaluate myself, my feeligs, and what I really want to do. I have had to learn that I AM NOT responsible for my boss's moods, or his stress. And, most importantly, there is NOTHING that I can do to change him. SO my choices are to stay and try to ignore him as best I can, which causes more stress for me, or make a change. I do not make changes very quickly, I will stay in something until the cows come home, even if it hurts me, thinking that I can make a difference, when in reality, that does not work either. This type of thinking has been harmful, but at least I am aware that this is what I do now. When he is nice, it is generally because he needs alot of work done, but when completed, he is back to the abusive and rude person. Some can walk away from this type of treatment, some do not. Another option is to confront and talk to the boss about what you feel when they do a certain thing.

Bottom line, we are not to allow someone else dictate how we feel about ourselves, we are much more worthy than what we perceive other's opinions of us. If you cn re-new your thinking or if you just go to another school, you have to realize that you are not the problem, nor can you fix it for anyone but yourself.

Hope this helps!

October 25, 2008
8:46 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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thanks so much ya'll for your support. My job is so different this year. we are under less stress because we proved ourselves last year but now we have to maintain it.

It may be that the boss is just less stressed out about proving she can turn our school around (she already has) It may be that she has finally seen my true worth.

It doesn't matter. You have made me realize my worth was there are a long and it doesn't depend on a boss!

Thank you.

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