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Is it depression?
March 25, 2001
1:28 pm
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alamap
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For the past month I have been feeling lonely and out of place. I cry most every night. I have some health issues that have been getting worse. I really don't have anyone I can trust to talk to (in the past I have tried this and heard two people at work gossiping about it). Because of my health issues, I have to avoid things I use to do and enjoy and don't have many friends. I hear gossip evey day about something I may or may not have done. I am always physically tired as I believe I have a sleep disorder. I am unable to sleep thru the night because I believe my snoring wakes me up constantly (this has been going on for almost two months). Life just doesn't seem to be getting any better. I am almost at my end. Most of the time I want to cry at work, but know that there would be a lot more talking behind my back which I am also getting tired up. You would think other people would have a life instead of trying to live mine.

March 25, 2001
3:39 pm
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NESS
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Maybe you could see someone(a doctor)about your sleep problem.It is a possibility something could be done to help you.Read up on sleep apnea ,as this is a condition when you wake up several times in a night.There are sleep clinics which could also help.Could you maybe try nap therapy during the day,just shutting your eyes for ten minutes here and there may help.
I also have a sleep problem where I am left feeling tired during the day and sometimes find it hard to cope.Hang in there!

March 25, 2001
8:15 pm
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Sal
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Those are all symptoms of depression, and I second NESS's opinion about seeing a doctor. Don't give up! You haven't tried everything yet!

March 26, 2001
9:29 am
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msg
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"Do not be disturbed by what others say or do"

This is an advice I received in similar circumstances. It applies to you as much as to anybody else. People talk. It is their habit. Ignore them. Our life is ours. Good or bad no one else can live it for us, can they? The more you think of them talking about you,the more miserable you are. No sense in making oneself miserable.

As for your sleep problem. It is good to get some medical advice. May be they will put you on something until you get over this "depression"?

Try reading a good book at bed time,Bible, Quran, Bhagavadgeetha any thing philosophical. This might divert your mind away from unwanted thoughts.

Eat well and do some rigorous exercises. Walk a mile after supper.

Wish you all the best. May God be with you.

March 27, 2001
3:51 pm
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sldk
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Thanks for your support. I have since taken a sleep test but was told it will be a couple of weeks before I find out the results. My asthma has gotten worse and the stress is not helping. The people at work have been talking even more which makes it hard not to break down at work. I try not to pay any attention, but it is hard when you can hear them without trying. I have also signed up for a stress class hoping this will help at least make life a bit more livable. Thanks!

March 27, 2001
4:52 pm
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Ladeska
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Very good advice here given by people. (smiles) You really do need some immediate relief so that you can concentrate on long term help. Good deal that you took the sleep test. I used to have the same problem with the snoring waking me up and then I'd go into a panic attack.

I think you may be hyper-vigilant for some reason....always "on alert" as if to protect yourself against something. That most often has sleep disturbances associated with it. You can only be "on alert" so long and for so many years before your body starts taking a toll. You're basically working overtime to protect yourself and to - stand guard.

Being sensitive to others and their shallow petty games of gossip and the like also indicates to me that you have had issues in your past where people really were plotting against you and this was no imagined thing, but very real, only you were powerless to do anything about you, you only sensed it and was aware of it.

We develop a sixth or seventh sense when we are around this, especially in our formative years and then grow up to be labeled a "paranoid" person. So, okay - our pendelum may swing a little wide and so it would, especially if we had not yet identified why we have this radar thing and why it's so developed within us and why it's turned up so damned loud!!!

For some reason - this ties in with your hyper-vigilance thing. All your senses are turned way up and are trying to function all the time - which will wear you out!!! You'll have asthma, sleep disturbances and a host of other ailments because it's - overload for your circuits.

For temporary relief while you are finding a really good therapist, one that you make progress with and trust - you need to do some particular things for yourself. I would either get into a stretching program - yoga is good. Go to a really good chiropractor. Get massages. Drink a ton of water. Eat very healthy. B vitamins are a must. Learn to breathe deeply and slowly. Exercise of some kind of a regular basis, even if it is just brisk walking. Juicing would be extremely good for you! You basically have to take very good care of your physical body right now because it is housing a little tornado that is trying to find it's way out of you. And you need to teach your body how to be flexible and not rigid.

What you are going through is your body's way of coping with something that is very toxic to you and is buried down very deep. It will take time to get to the root and many layers will have to be gone through. Usually it is a "lie" that has been buried there. A lie that we have believed about ourselves concerning something traumatic that has happened to us. The thing is - our true self knows when something illicit and toxic is within us and we start having earthquakes whereby we are trying to expel this from ourselves. But, when we tell ourselves something.....it goes through no filter or examination. It goes right in and becomes "law" and if we are a child when this happens - then it automatically goes into our adult beings - belief system about who we are.

Therefore, if a child has believed something wrongly - it never passes through any inspection by us at all and we are extremely stubborn about even believing that we could have done this. We would know better! We wouldn't have done this! Ah yes....we do this. So, be very, very gentle with yourself and don't worry about the "little people" at work. They are predatory because - they lack. You are allowing them to reinforce this lie within you and at the same time - you feel conflict inside because you know something isn't right here. Once that gets squared away with "you" - they will just be so much "noise" to you and quite pathetic.

Earthquakes are good. There are reasons for them. We always want to pat everything down - when sometimes - it's necessary to tear down a few walls and expose things. You can weather this - you just have to take careful steps and above all else provide a protective shield about yourself that says - I am taking care of me.....we constantly change, evolve, throw off old skin and sometimes what we think is absolute dying is indeed - absolute life trying to shake the old off in order that wings can appear...

March 31, 2001
10:34 am
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sldk
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A lot of what everyone says makes sense, but it is hard. I have been trying a little bit at a time. I did sign up for yoga previously, but I had hurt my knee falling on the ice a couple of months ago, so it is hard to do some things (I have been told it is going to be several months to a couple of years before it will be healed). I know that the stress has been taking a toll on my body (I have had the flu for the past several days) and I have been trying to do what I think would be good for me, but it really doesn't seem to help as I have been sick more times than not this year. I used to walk an hour evey day which I would like to do again, but the weather has not been helping and I usually run into too many triggers to walk at the mall. I get my sleep test results next week, but I am kind of scared to know what they are. Thank you for your advice!

March 31, 2001
2:37 pm
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lost angel
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Well it just so happens i have sleep apnea.Snoring is a sympton of sleep apnea and there is help. you need to get in contact with your physician and let him know you are having problems sleeping at night and you have been realing up on sleep apnea and would like him to set you up with a physician that speciolizes in this area. believe me you can suffer from alot of different problems from having sleep apnea. sleep deprivation can cause depression and alot of other health problems for you due to your body is never sleeping the way it should. good luck.

snoring

April 6, 2001
9:31 am
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pg lova
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Almap,

Jesus said "Let not your heart be troubled, you believe in God . . ." and that is my exortation to you today, to count it all joy when you fall into those trials for it is in trials that God tests our faith. Think about it, you must be like gold in God's eyes because gold is tested for purity by fire and gold without fire will never be pure gold. See the fire melts out all of the impurities so that the final product seen is shining pure gold. So when people talk about you try thinking that this is the fire that is testing the quality of this gold. Much love to you and if you ever need someone to talk to, e-mail me at [email protected] and I will write you back. Any issue you have, I am willing to help you with. So "lean on me." You said you have not to many friends, well now you've got two a very good friend me and God.

God bless U,

Pg Lova

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