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Is he Cheating?
March 24, 2001
11:26 pm
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Scarred_Soul
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Hey, I am about a month into a long distance relationship, and yea. He didn't call me for a week, then today I called him and he thought I was someoen else. When I told him I wasn't that other person, and then I asked who that other girl was, he said just some chic from school. THen he was like well I have to go now can't talk. I just don't get it! I really like him, a lot, and I thought that he felt the same way. We both have a lot of the same shit going on in our lives, and we only live 45 minutes away so we get to see eachother almost every weekend. last weekend we got to see eachother and we made out and stuff, we were going to do more, but then my folks came to pick me up. I dunno know, could it just be a weird coincidence? I am not sure, cause I was thinking about losing my virginity to him, but if he may be a cheating heart, then i don't want to. I already have my heart and soul, not to mention my body scared...(body from myself, not abuse from anyone, don't worry bout that)
But I just don't know waht to do...am I assuming things too fast? We are only 14...please reply
Scarred_Soul

March 25, 2001
12:17 am
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MarySmith
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Ok, I am only a few years older then you (17) and I am going through a simular situation so I feel i can give you honest advice. I am also in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend and we have been together for several months now. One thing that is for sure.. without TRUST, we would have nothing. It is SOOO hard because he lives over 80 miles away and we see each other once a week IF we are lucky and if not.. every2 weeks. Anyhow, if you have any question, or the slightest doubt whatsoever about him cheating on you then DO NOT have sex with him and give him your virginity if it means something to you. Instead, confront him and if after discussing it, if you still don't trust him you may have to break it off. You decide- but if anything don't guess at wheather he's faithful.. follow your insticts and never be afraid to tell him your doubts.

I know from experience that keeping it inside does not help things in a long distance relationship.. if you don't have trust..you don't have anything. I am trying to trust my bf as much as possible but whenever something comes up that makes me feel unsure.. i let him know and we try and work it out. If he loves you, he would do the same. Sorry for rambling but i hope i can help a bit!

March 25, 2001
12:24 am
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MarySmith
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Also.. you said something about scarring yourself. And not to worry about it.. well that IS a big deal girl! Is there anything else going on in your life to cause you to do this?

March 25, 2001
9:54 pm
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Scarred_Soul
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thanx for the advice and yes, I know that SI is a big deal, I don't do it at the time, but I have a lot in the past...I am dealing with depression...and trying to not cut...but yeah, there are a lot of things going on that make me cut and everything, the damn boy probs are just like 2% of all the shit...I'd better go though,
Scarred Soul

March 26, 2001
2:41 pm
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Mary smith
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I'm going through depression as well. It's really hard , ecspecially if you don't think your boyfriend or ANYONE understands. IT took a long time, but i am finnally starting to trust mine.

ANyway, If you want to talk about anything else feel free... We seem to have alot on common..

March 26, 2001
6:43 pm
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Ladeska
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September 27, 2010
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Keep your virginity. This bozo is playing games with you. Typical at this age. Male hormones rage and about all they want is to have something to talk about to the guys so they can fit in. Be one up on him, girlfriend. You don't need anymore scarring and you have every right to be extremely "picky". Good for you that you are using your brain here.

March 27, 2001
12:48 pm
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Scarred_Soul
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So...do you think I should dump him? Cause he hasn't called still, 4 days since I called him, and i am just sick of all this shit! I don't really care if we are going out or not, so maybe I should just end it...but then again, if he isn't creepin around with other girls, then what if I dump him, and he tries to kill himself again? Cause he is also suicidal, like me, and I am worried about him hurting/killing himself over this...I just don't know what to do...
Scarred_Soul

March 27, 2001
3:53 pm
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Ladeska
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Let's talk about why you are suicidal..... What thoughts come to your mind when you get into this place? Would you mind talking to me about this? Seems to me that issues of betrayal always has a root down deep that we might not even be aware of. Are you willing to do a little digging with me? (smile)

March 27, 2001
7:43 pm
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Scarred_Soul
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Thank you for replying and actually caring about why I am like I am. I have done so much "digging" I can barely bare it anymore. But sure, I'll do whatever I can to help you better understand, it would also be nice if I could get out of this state of mind. Today I cut again, first time in a while. I cut my arm 4 times...I don't know, I wasn't upset about anything, I just missed the scars, sounds crazy, I know, but it was how i felt. I no longer talk to people, besides the people on line, about my feelings and about when I cut. I am not sure why I talk to anyone anymore, it is just digging up the past somehow, even though the past has become the present again somehow. Anyway, I don't really consider myself suicidal anymore. I just cut. I don't cut to try and die, I just cut to cut I guess. This is all very confusing for me still, and yet I try to explain it to everyone. Seriously, no one seems to understand. Today I was watching an old eposode of 7th Heaven. The girl on there had the same name as me, and she cut also. I found it really funny to tell you the truth! She was like my age, one of "Lucys" friends, and she had been to a treatment program, just like I have, and yet she still kept cutting. She became the "town freak" in her old town, and so that is why her family moved and they thought that she would be better since no one knew about it. I was recently thinking about moving, cause then no one would know about it, but I KNOW that I would keep cutting and somehow people would find out. I'm locked in my past. i can't move forwards and I can't move back. I'm stuck.
Scarred_Soul

March 28, 2001
12:16 pm
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Ladeska
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Soul....so, if you wear a brand - then people will see you and know that you are "marked"? Will this then validate the sentence that you've already given yourself? Just wondering? It's like - don't like me!!!! Don't you understand how horrible I am!!! Here look at the scars - that will prove it to you - Now back off and don't get close to me. People that get close to me - hurt me....and maybe they hurt me because I deserve it, so if that's true then you shouldn't get too close either because - I'm bad and that means you'll hurt me for it, right???

Just thinking outloud about why I would cut..... So, why would we lock ourselve into a room...into our past - so to speak? I'd do that if I was afraid of the outside world. I'd do that if I wanted to hide. I'd do that if I wanted to figure something out...and stay there until I did.

Sometimes, we experience pain at the hands of other people when we are children and then they treat us really good afterwards. They reward us - for them being bad to us, it's their way of giving their conscience a temporary "fix". So, in a child's mind the story goes.....if I hurt really bad - then I'll get treated really well for awhile afterwards. If I bear up under the pain - I'll be rewarded. Sometimes, we are just like mice in a controlled laboratory. We've been conditioned to do certain things and we don't even know why......and then we end up here where you are going - I'd like to figure this out - once and for all.

All I'm asking you to do, is to raise your head up - just a little bit - over the crashing waves and catch a glimpse of your own intelligence......you're much smarter about what's going on here than you consciously know. The answer is locked up within you and isn' t that far from your reach.

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