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Is he a relationship idiot or just a jerk?
October 4, 2001
4:09 pm
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Elboogie
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I feel a little silly asking a question such as this at such a tragic time but this is driving me nuts. I live in New York, I don't have a job and I am basically living off my parents. I hate this, I am so bored and I really have nothing going for me. There is a guy in my life who lives far away and we had decided not to have a long distance relationship but we both care for eachother...or so I thought. Lately, he hardly emails me, he never calls and when I call him he is not there. After calling him, he doesn't even respond by email to say he got my message. See he is still in college and well, he doesn't have the money to make long distance calls, so I understand that but I really need him right now and I told him this. The icing on the cake is that he had a break from school and he didn't even tell me...I just don't understand, I mean, it is clear that this is not working out but I don't know what to do. Should I try and talk to him about this and work it out? Or should I just drop it. He really means a lot to me and he has really hurt me but it seems he really doesn't care. Help me out.

October 4, 2001
4:18 pm
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pill
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Trying not to be real blunt, but you might want to just let this one go...

Easier said than done - right?

All signs point to his not being into it any more. You can chalk it up to a learning experience.

Don't blame yourself, though. Long-distance relationships are hard work. It would be doubly hard to commit when your studying in school at the same time.

I wouldn't call him any more, nor email. It may be hard at first, but even if you have a friend tie your hands together, or just call a friend if you get the urge to contact him... I'd leave him alone and see what happens.

Don't you have to do your hair tonight?

October 4, 2001
4:18 pm
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Molly
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Why don't you give it just one more all out effort. tell him what you want, and if he takes the offer, then great, if not move on. Don't ask for the 2x4 over the head, it hurts to much. perhaps too, he has finals, or midterms.

October 4, 2001
5:17 pm
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pill
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Good idea Molly.

October 5, 2001
2:11 am
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Elboogie
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Well, I just had a night out, which I needed at this point...so, I found out he has a girlfirend at school from his roomate. I am so crushed by this...what do I do! do I tell him how hurt I am...I am a text book codependant...what do I do? I am so hurt and I feel so stupid thinking that he actually cared for me and was waiting to be with me. What do I do? please help

October 5, 2001
10:12 am
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pill
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I'd try to tell him how you feel - just to let him know the fault he is at. As a favor to yourself, you have the opportunity to express your feelings. You don't hve to expect any results, just look at it as a release. He needs to know how his behavior can effect people, and maybe he'll learn how not to hurt people next time. In actuality, you'll be doing him a favor, because he obviously doesn't know much about communicating or caring about another person.

Good luck.. and try not to give up. Time will help you heal...

Peace.

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