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**IS BEEN 4 DAYS**
August 9, 2007
11:11 am
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maripocita
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is been 4 days that we don't talk it hurts me so much to see us this way my heart is filled with pain and memories that are killing me inside, I feel like going crazy but I have to make it my mind is lost in the world at this moments I don't know what is going to happened know between us.

all he said is thank you for helping me and supporting me I see how much our relationship met to you...

and I said I'm tiered of given you all the chances to change and you never do so I can't belive in you anymore.

is so hard to make a change in my life I never really thought that this was going to happened to us........

August 9, 2007
12:29 pm
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Anonymous
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I'm not sure what I can say to help you feel better. But time will help heal.
((((((maripocita))))))

August 9, 2007
1:08 pm
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CAMER
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((MARI))) some online support hugs your way.

You are doing the right thing, even though your heart is feeling alot of pain....all your dreams now are washed away.

I think the more you post the better you will feel. You will realize you are not alone & there are others here who have been down a similiar path as you.

You even said you gave him all the chances in the world to change and he never did, maybe if you stick with this boundary he will realize what a great gal he has lost. And believe in yourself too, how caring you are, and how much you put up with from him.

You deserve the best in this world, remember that.

Feel your feelings, it is painful and know you are not alone.

(((((camer))))

August 9, 2007
1:35 pm
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CAMER
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((MARI))) some online support hugs your way.

You are doing the right thing, even though your heart is feeling alot of pain....all your dreams now are washed away.

I think the more you post the better you will feel. You will realize you are not alone & there are others here who have been down a similiar path as you.

You even said you gave him all the chances in the world to change and he never did, maybe if you stick with this boundary he will realize what a great gal he has lost. And believe in yourself too, how caring you are, and how much you put up with from him.

You deserve the best in this world, remember that.

Feel your feelings, it is painful and know you are not alone.

(((((camer))))

August 9, 2007
2:20 pm
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maripocita
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ohhh!! I don't know how am I going to feel this weekend cuz he will be there and we don't even talk is just to painful to just think that the weekend is almost here, and is so hard just to think that I will be there for more than 72hrs. what would I do? what if he trys to talk to me? what should I say to him?

my girl is going on a trip with my sister and I will be alone all week with him ohhh!!! I think I'm going to go crazy inside I have so much anger!!!!!!!!

August 9, 2007
2:21 pm
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maripocita
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ohhh!! I don't know how am I going to feel this weekend cuz he will be there and we don't even talk is just to painful to just think that the weekend is almost here, and is so hard just to think that I will be there for more than 72hrs. what would I do? what if he trys to talk to me? what should I say to him?

my girl is going on a trip with my sister and I will be alone all week with him ohhh!!! I think I'm going to go crazy inside I have so much anger!!!!!!!!

August 9, 2007
2:23 pm
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maripocita
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ohhh!! I don't know how am I going to feel this weekend cuz he will be there and we don't even talk is just to painful to just think that the weekend is almost here, and is so hard just to think that I will be there for more than 72hrs. what would I do? what if he trys to talk to me? what should I say to him?

my girl is going on a trip with my sister and I will be alone all week with him ohhh!!! I think I'm going to go crazy inside I have so much anger!!!!!!!!

August 9, 2007
3:00 pm
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StronginHim77
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Can you share with us what he did that has hurt you so badly and made you so angry? Sometimes, getting it out in writing helps us to be strong about stepping back from hurtful, toxic men...and STAYING away from them.

- Ma Strong

August 9, 2007
8:40 pm
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maripocita
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hi is me again and I just got out work like about 2hrs ago, I haven that to him but I'm nervous to be here my heart bits fast and I can't stop thinking about all that has happened lately...

still don't understand why he is so miserable with me after all I try to do is give him all the love that I could give, but he just never makes me feel he does love me he saids he does but in my heart it doest feel that way...

August 9, 2007
8:55 pm
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CAMER
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mari....keep posting here, all weekend if you have to, you will never have that alone feeling!!! and we'll help you every step of the way.

He sounds too messed up in his own world, honey, you did all you could and that still wasn't enough for him.

Just know you will make it, it may feel like your heart is being ripped out, but you will make it, i promise you that.

If you keep posting & keep in touch with us, know you are not alone, it will make it a lil' less difficult to deal with.

((((((hugs your way)))))

August 9, 2007
11:25 pm
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maripocita
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why is love so painful? why are man so cold and miserable they never really know how to treat anyone why?...why is life so painful?

I don't know now what will happened but I really hope is something good.

sometimes I think that is me the way I'm he saids that I'm a very jealous and even my son saids that I'm always going to be alone cuz of the way that I'm, even my own son hurt my feelings that hurts more ...

I don't even want to think about me old and miserable and alone cuz just to think about, I just wish I was dead so I won't feel more pain...but I know that I have my girl and that is what stops me from doing something I like that.

all my life that I remember I had suffered and had never really been happy in my life and I just don't understand why so much pain.......

August 10, 2007
3:51 am
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wannabe
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Hugs and flowers

you will get better with time. space works wonders he will either change or you will be so good without him.

about your son, dont brush off what he says, sometimes the people closet to us are in a better position to see through us, If its something he mentioned in your character think about it and see if you can change.

love & blessings
wan

August 10, 2007
7:00 am
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CAMER
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((hope this day 5 is doing ok for you Mari)))) I know this weekend will be hard on your heart, but if you keep posting, you will feel much better.

(((hugs to you, your girl & your son))))

August 10, 2007
11:31 am
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maripocita
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today I had woke up early about 7am and took a shower and woke my girl so we could go have breakfast and we got ready, I heard him say `so where we going' I said your not going with us...

he didn't ask for anything else so I went with my girl and I was thinking of him so I toke something to eat for him cuz I didn't want to be so mean...

any my plan today was to go to the beach and forget about a lot of thing that are in my mind and hopefully that would make me feel better but is not happening jet cuz I came back to get a notebook that I forgot and he was outside he had left the keys in the car...

know I can't go cuz he is trying to get his keys and I have to wait so I could luck the door of the house...

I was trying to be nice with him and told him that if he wants me to help him and he said no, and so than I asked againg and again and the answer was no ``I don't want anything or any help from you anymore''

I asked him why are you mad with me if I haven't done nothing to you I haven't even talk to you? he said I have a lot of anger against you and I don't know why.....

so know I'm still here on the bed just waiting.......

August 10, 2007
11:56 am
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CAMER
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HI Mari...so HE is your hubby right?? the same man you had your son & daughter with?? and does he live with you, sounds like that from the post.

OOOOOhhh cuz i thought he lived elsewhere since you haven't tt in 4 days, I didn't realize he is in the same household.

Hmmmm, his anger may just be resentment of some sort, maybe you could ask him for more detail as to why he is so angry, without him getting upset about it.

August 10, 2007
7:55 pm
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maripocita
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no he is not the father of my kids, I have been living with him for almost 2yrs and he is younger than me I'm 33yrs and he is 27yrs.

so I went to the beach today and after everthing that happened with the keys and when I came back I still try to be nice to him, I went to rent movies and get some pizza and I asked him if he would like to see a movie and eat pizza with me and he said no.
that made me feel so bad it hurt so much cuz I had a feeling that he was going to say that, and I was so right about that.......

August 11, 2007
7:03 am
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CAMER
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wow, he does sound angry.....maybe don't ask him anything anymore, such as movies and pizza......HE is the one who is angry, and its up to him to open up to you as to why.

You shouldn't feel like a hostage in your home, not knowing if he will talk or not talk, not knowing if he is angry or not.

He needs to communicate, all you can do is to ask him whats wrong, and ask him to give you an adult answer and not just a one word answer. If you get to the heart of the matter with him, maybe you both can find out what is really wrong.

good luck.

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