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Is anyone around?
November 11, 2004
12:56 am
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DoingMyBest
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What's up?
I need help right now. I'm going through a time when it seems like everyone is right and I'm wrong. It seems like reality is everything that's bad and everything that is good is just a fantasy. What is going on with me right now? Can anyone relate? I've felt this before, it's just that I've never had the guts to speak up about my feelings on it. I need a reality check on what's really important. I'm on the verge of giving up. I feel like my dreams are a waste of time.

November 11, 2004
1:08 am
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DoingMyBest-

Hi. Sorry you are feeling down, I think I can relate. I'm depressed- do you think that's what your problem is? Have you ever been treated for anything like that before?

-ella

November 11, 2004
1:50 am
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free
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Yeah, I've been here. Funny, the thread caught me kuz I was wondering the same thing: "is anyone around?"

I wish I had answers to this type of question. I hate this part of life. So much.

today my brother called. They are states away from me. My dad, after 47 years of marriage, has decided he wants a divorce, so my mom drank a quart of whisky and ate a bunch of pills and slit her wrists. Fortunately, she was too drunk and missed the veins or she would have bled to death. took stiches. She's in the hospital right now. they're not alcoholics or anything along those lines, she downed some whisky and a bottle of wine that were Christmas gifts last year and the year before.

I love my parents so much.

I wish I never learned to love sometimes. It is so painful.

Love and shame. The reasons, the only reasons, I've ever cried.

Jeepers. Usually I post in response and these eloquent words type themselves into the computer. I don't know where they come from. right now, not sure where these words came from either. Hardly eloquent, and I don't even know what they mean or what they're doin' typin here.

forgive me. I think I might be drunk. But I was wondering if anybody was out here, too. And I wanted you to know that-

yeah

free

November 11, 2004
2:36 am
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balancesekr
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Hi doing, free and ella,

I am feeling the same way right now. I almost want to walk into traffic and end it ALL. I feel I am just a piece of garbage, selfish, whatever!

I just had a blowout with my brother, my mother is sick and throwing up, I am thinking about my ex, working on a freelance project which is due tomorrow!

BUT- I have to remember that you can't know the good times unless you have the BAD and right now is bad but tomorrow is a new day 🙂

November 11, 2004
2:40 am
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hi balance and free-

I wish you were both having better days.

Free- I'm so sorry to hear about your parents, especially your mom. I have nothing wise to say, just sending my love and hopes that better days are ahead for you and your family....

hugs,
ella

November 11, 2004
3:17 am
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balancesekr
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Oh my god free! I just read your post above. My heart and prayers go out to you! That's terrible what is happening with you parents... I can't imagine... BIG HUGS AND KISSES to you.
balance

P.S. Ella, hugs to you too!!!

November 11, 2004
3:50 am
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DoingMyBest
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Geez,
Thank you mzrella and free for some type of input. Sorry but I 'm not feeling suicidal, and I don't have any family who are on the verge either. I might still be depressed. Some of it may still be lingering from the past. After giving up on all the counseling, hospitals and anti-depressants that I have been dealing with for the last five years, Being on that stuff made me feel suicidal, and I'm supposed to feel much better.
I have very little tolerance for people who say a little something to offer some type of help, and then turn around and get caught up in they're own mess, especially if they got friends on this board. Yeah,..... some support. Thanx. What is it? My issue isn't extreme enough for people to offer some advice? I mean some REAL advice. I ain't whinin' about a man, I don't have extreme issues with family either, Or no past that sounds like a movie or an excerpt from a Donald Goines book. I am a Real person and the stuff I deal with on a daily basis is about my future and dreams, and things really matter to me. Dwelling in the past doesn't
mean anything, sometimes that's the problem. People don't know when to move on. I'm interested in what's down to earth and the most positive
solutions, not who has the biggest sob story. If you are going to respond or relate to my
thread,please, come with something real. Don't take over my thread like it ain't nothing. I came back here for some advice and support and you post with little or nothing? I feel disrespected.

November 11, 2004
7:54 am
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readyforachange
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Doing My Best...

I hear you, and your concerns are valid. That happens sometimes here. We aren't professional counselors, and sometimes we do get caught up in our own "mess" as we're trying to help eachother. But I don't think people do that for the reason you think; it is intended more to let you know that others are going through the same type of feelings and that those feelings are real. It's a way to let you know that we'll all get through this together. As far as giving you real advice, I know many of us would like to do that. I don't really know your story or what you are dealing with. Please keep posting, and maybe we can get some answers for you. As far as your "reality check" - what's really important is YOU and you are already on the way to taking care of yourself because you're speaking up about your feeling, as you said you've never been able to do before. You're on the right track. Hang in there.

November 11, 2004
2:33 pm
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I can understand doingmybest. I too have little tolerance for some things.

Hope things work out for you. It might help if you resisted chopping the hands off of those who reach out to you. People often don't know how to reach out to you the way you want or need them to. Appears I offended you and for that I sincerely apologize.

The hostile tone in your post is not inviting of response. It pushes away. Often those who are most timid have all the answers and the best advice. Often times, they will remain silent and only read where there apears to be aggressiveness and hostility.

You, too can make friends on this board. There are many people here and some have reached out to you already. I've yet to see anybody in a sob story contest here. Usually, that is a way to reach out, to share, to connect. Compassion is a two way street as is friendship, even on message boards.

No need to lash out at anybody here who posts on "your" thread. Nobody here is the cause of your anger or your pain.

You are the one who owns it, but alot of people here can ease it for you. You would need to let them, however, do that the best way they know how and be thankful that they are reading your thread.

free
free

November 11, 2004
4:27 pm
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doingmybest-

apparently you are not acclimated to the culture of this board yet. it is a supportive environment. we can only share our experiences and support and try to understand where you are coming from.

a lot of us are on these very boards because we too are in pain and if perhaps that makes us imperfect, a little self absorbed, even at times outright hostile (like yourself) that is to be understood.

if you wish to wallow alone in your pain, if you wish to talk to automatons who will provide you with nothing but what you want to hear, well... you might be disappointed here.

personally, i apologize for losing the focus, but my response was to elicit more info. from you on YOUR situation. if you have been reading other threads at all, you will see that they are very similar- people sharing stories. it's about SHARING. if you can't fine. but don't berate us for doing the best we can.

as for people having friends on here? that shouldn't offend you, but give you comfort that there's a place you can come to where you too can have support. Apparently it's not good enought though.

i advise you to seek more professional help.

-ella

November 11, 2004
4:47 pm
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ps.
if you want respect, stop disrespecting others.

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