Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_TopicIcon
involved in friends divorce case....2shy
October 8, 2009
8:53 am
Avatar
2shy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It has been a while since I have been on this site.

I own a clothing shop and next door to my shop is an optical shop. The owner of the shop and I have been neighbours for 10 years but we never spoke to each other until a few months ago. I am a very reserved person who doesn't initiate friendships. The woman next door started talking to me a few months ago and we became best of friends.

The situation is that she is going through a nasty divorce. Her ex was very abusive towards her. After 24 years of marriage she is finally leaving him. They both ran the business together but since their separation she is running the shop herself. He has a restraining order. Well, a few months ago we spotted him across the street from the mall we work at. She called the police the next day and I signed an affidavid. One of the shop owners in the mall, who is friends with her ex, found out about the affidavid and told me to be careful....not to get involved. I am not sure if he is warning me about a possible threat from her ex. I just decided to forget that comment.

My concern is that I was walking with my neighbour last night after work and she spotted her ex inside the mall. She blurted out that there is her ex. He ran up the steps and out of the mall. I saw him from behind. If she didn't blurt out that he was her ex I wouldn't have paid attention nor recognize him. So, unfortunately today she is expecting me to give a statement to the police that I saw him. The mall security have him on video as well. He will be arrest after that for breaching his restraining order. I am afraid that her ex will seek revenge towards me. Apparently, he never liked me....(according to her...though we never spoke before). He is a charmer, and very hot tempered. From how she describes him he reminds me a lot of my ex.

I am worried about her and want to be a good friend but at the same time I am worried that maybe I am jeopardising my safety too by being her friend.

What do you recommend?

She has a lot of police reports about her abuse and he has gone to prison overnight for abusing her.

October 8, 2009
9:03 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

That's a tough one...have you taken any steps towards protection for yourself? Examples: a "R.A.D.D." course for self-defense (offered by most metropolitan police departments), a Concealed Weapons License course (which would entail carrying a gun for self-defense), a course in martial arts or even purchasing some Mace? Do you have a home security system? A watch dog?

These are things to consider. If it were me, I would stand my ground and do it because I refuse to live in fear...plus, I would want to help this poor woman. You might be saving her life.

When in doubt, talk to your local police department about it. They will give you fair and impartial advice.

- Ma Strong

October 8, 2009
9:07 am
Avatar
autumn128
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I would say that staying out of it as much as possible is probably a good idea. If he would have directly come up to the both of you and said something, that would be different.

Are you sure that was him running up the stairs? If so, do you feel like you need to say something to the police? You seem uncomfortable getting too involved. I would follow your gut feeling.

You should probably have a talk with your friend. Tell her you are worried about her AND yourself. Maybe telling her that you will keep a vigilant eye out for him and if you see him lurking around, you will call the police yourself.

The best thing to do is to be honest with your friend about your fears.

Autumn

October 8, 2009
9:17 am
Avatar
2shy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Ma..... The most I will do is carry around a keychain which activites a loud noise when I pull on it. I live in Canada and we cannot legally carry Mace.

Your right, I need to help my friend. I would appreciate the help if I were in her shoes. I wouldn't want something bad to happen to her. There are too many cases of men killing their estranged wives. She is afraid that he is capable of doing that to her. He has stabbed her and beaten her up in the past. She didn't press charges when he stabbed her.

He is a very angry man. If cannot have her back he is wanting to destroy her.

But, like I said....I am scared about my safety. I am afraid that he might think I am influencing her to stay away from him.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
58 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 108538

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38531

Posts: 714172

Newest Members:

PetrRon, chriswf2, Businessbor, Stevenreque, piterfub, jewellze16

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer