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Involuntary Celibacy
August 27, 2001
7:45 pm
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LilyBart
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September 24, 2010
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I don't know what is wrong with me. When nobody has ever liked or loved you, inevitably those feelings of inadequacy and low self steem came in your mind. I'm 23 and never felt the love of a partner, never received a flower, never was asked out. I don't consider myself very ugly, but I must be, because I have never felt anybody's attraction towards me. It is true uglier people have normal affective lives, but... People say I "have to solve my own conflicts before looking for a boyfriend", but not having a partner IS the cause of my conflict now. I know I shouldn't focus so much on that, I have other things to care about, but when I see all my friends being asked out, receiving love and being cared for all the time, just denying this necessity of mine is difficult, if not impossible. I don't know what to do anymore, the feeling that I am an ugly,uninteresting person is making me nuts.
Thanks for spending the time reading it, I just needed to express it to someone (I don't feel comfortable to open myself up to the ones around me,I'm concerned about not sounding like I'm the single looser, although this is how I feel).
If you want to write me anything, please feel free to do it.

August 27, 2001
9:30 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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gosh, and golly, got the more than Monday blues???? We all feel like that sometimes, lonely in a crowd? Often what we feel inside some how gets projected like neon on our forehead, go figure. There is no room for being needy in society today, and I personally think they are all in denial, but listening to lots of folk your age, they seem to hone in on this one character trait quick. I don't know if your male or female but no matter, its slim pickings, with the job, school, working out, housework, yada yada yada, its hard to find some one or something, that has time to say hi, lets get to know one and other. I say chase those blues away, and get busy, its like the story of the lady that wanted so bad to get pregnant, and couldn't as soon as the baby was adopted, guess what, now how many times have we heard that story, or the special dress, got money in hand and there is nothing out there, but when your broke, or fat, they jump off the rack at you. so, I say get over the mate thing for today, get over the date, and partner, and just get busy. Those that appear to be to busy are usually the first that everyone wants go figure again. So, go treat your self to something special, go work out, and put a smile on your face, stand a little taller, and the first person that says hi, be busy, but your going to get back to them. Just give it a try, go to the dept store and get a free makeover, just be busy, it will all fall into place when the time is right. Sure, yea right, duh, know that isn't what you want to hear, but its true, so in the mean time, grab a friend, go get a latte, and celebrate the sunset. Ugh, and don't for get that million dollar smile of yours.

August 28, 2001
1:38 pm
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Ladeska
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September 27, 2010
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Sounds like you've got some tapes playing in your head that came from a source other than yourself. So...who told you growing up that you were ugly, not interesting, no one would ever want you, you'll never amount to anything...etc. Someone told you this, huh?

August 28, 2001
7:48 pm
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gingerleigh
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Hi Lilybart. Are you around very many single people your age? It sounds kind of silly to ask that, but if you are working in a company that is all married 30-somethings, or you live in an apartment complex or housing development with a bunch of senior citizens, how the heck are you supposed to meet people do date?

What Molly suggests... going out and doing something, that is the absolutely best way to meet someone. And going to the gym is a surefire way to start feeling physically better, in which case you really do start to attract people.

I'm guessing that you are female. I've found that a lot of men don't know how to show interest. In some cases, the ones who are really blatant about their interest are the ones that you don't want. In some cases, the guys who hang back are the shy ones that you sometimes have to get to know a little better before they make their move. Do you have any close male friends?

August 28, 2001
9:09 pm
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sue2001
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September 24, 2010
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are you sure that no one thinks you are pretty or interesting? I felt exactly the same as you for a long time. I only dated a very few guys in high school I thought that I wasn't as fun or pretty or interesting come to find out I wasn't as loose.... good for me huh didn't do much for my self esteem though.... any way I found out after high school that alot of guys had crushes on me....I tell you when I found out and who they were I HIT THE FLOOR..... so maybe it is that you just don't see it... and btw I still have never had a flower sent to me either... I ain't missing it though... flowers die.... 🙂 SUE

September 5, 2001
5:51 pm
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LilyBart
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September 24, 2010
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