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interveinous drugs flahsback please help
October 6, 2005
7:53 pm
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Anonymous
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You and all the people here are an inspiration, a source of soundness and courage for sure. Tks for sharing.

October 6, 2005
8:38 pm
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mamacinnamon
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RW: Here and prayin for ya. Have you found out any info? Call the police and inform them? Find out who is parole officer is and call him? Do you live in the same state where he was imprisoned????

I'll be back later. Hubby is up and grumpy.

October 6, 2005
10:13 pm
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jamaicanwife
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Just checking in. I'm glad you have someone with you.

And I think you have been given some great advice. write them down and get them done one by one, cross them off as you go. You will be looking after yourself.

Is moving to another state possible for you? Honestly, that was the first thing that came to me, but I didn't say it because pulling up roots is hard enough without young children, in the middle of a separation, just when you are starting to get your life together.

But if he ever contacts you, or threatens you, or God forbid shows up at your house, call the police, call his parole officer, call the women's shelter and move, please. I know you have difficulty accepting that your life is precious, that you are precious, but you are. You are. Do everything you can to keep yourself safe, for your children, for us on this site, and for yourself. Do it for yourself.

I send you love.

October 6, 2005
11:23 pm
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Randomwomen2
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we are in the same state but im going to call the womens shelter and see if they know anything about self defence classes. Um I have done everything that i can for now. G talked with my aunt today and he is going to be paying her my restitution when he can and she is going to be giving me 200 dollars a month so greg will owe her and not me and thats how she wants it. I know she has a lot of guilt issues and i dont know how to make her feel better. But it will be great getting that 200 dolalrs a month i am going to put it into savings and save until i can aford a vacation. I desirve one.

October 6, 2005
11:52 pm
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mamacinnamon
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RW:

I think you deserve a vacation also. Anywhere you wanted to go. Bless you for your courage, strength, ability to hold it together. And bless you for taking such good care of your boys.

October 7, 2005
4:02 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I think i want to take me and my boys to disneyland i was prommised when i was young that i would be able to go and i think thats what i will do.
I have had other memories come to me cause of all the stress I remember even as a 7 year old that i needed to close the blinds so our neibors cant see me naked I remember getting a choice of a punishment for somethng that i did it was either a spanking with a whip on my bare butt or it was intercourse. Intercourse hurtless at least i thought at that time. I felt guilty for chosing that becasue i felt like i was telling him that it was ok i didnt feel taht way at the time but later on looking back. What a choice though damn it makes me sick

October 7, 2005
7:47 pm
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Randomwomen2
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some one told me life is always full of choices there is always away out of bad situations. But thinking back for me anychoice that i make could have led to death very easly there was no choice for me I hate the it when people talk before they listen. I feel like the world hates me for some reason. I dont know why i feel this way but i do

October 7, 2005
10:07 pm
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mamacinnamon
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RW:

I don't think the world hates you. I think the world does not understand how someone can do such hurtful monstrous things, therefore they blabb out some line of wisdom and get the heck outta Dodge.

I never talk about my situation. Mostly coz i don't think anyone would believe me. I had a lady ask me once what was wrong w/ me. This was quite early after the divorce, 1990. I told her I had post traumatic stress. She asked what caused it and I said being married to my x. Her comment was "Oh, now come on, Linda, things weren't that bad. You shouldn't go around saying bad things about "x", he's a great guy, and you are only trying to ruin his reputation." I felt like droppin dead right there.

RW, I'm sorry to say but folks don't want to know. Not saying that about here. Here you can come and say as much or as little as you want. You are believed here.

(((((RW))))))

How are you doin? Hangin in ok?

October 8, 2005
12:19 am
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Randomwomen2
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im not doing so well tonight all i feel like doing is sleeping and crying

October 8, 2005
12:26 am
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mamacinnamon
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RW:

Still here? I had to leave earlier. Was at my sis' now home, thank God.

October 8, 2005
12:29 am
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Randomwomen2
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im here

October 8, 2005
12:32 am
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mamacinnamon
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Hi

Just read the other post. I'm sorry.

which post do you want to talk under? The new one would be best so others will join in.

Meet you over there.

January 29, 2006
4:50 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Its stuff like this that comes back when im in my depressive mode. Its like I can put it off when Im in the manic mode I just act like it never happend but I cant do that now. I just wish that it would just go away. For those of you who dont know what I am speaking about click on view first post. Thank you for listening.

Love
Julie

January 29, 2006
4:59 pm
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loverbee
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My god, I am so sorry to hear this. That sounds awful. I was raped as a young child and something that helped me was hypnosis therapy and regular counseling. As for the manic and depressive situation, have you spoken to a doctor about getting that under control. I know there are medications for bipolar disorder. You need to talk though about all of it. It will cling to your memory and haunt you if you try to deal with it alone. Memories are powerful and painful at times but you don't have to face the past alone. Some things just need time to get over them and support. You have done a good thing in talking about it with this site, but maybe you need addtional counseling. Its something to consider.In the mean time, feel better and stay strong.

Loverbee

January 29, 2006
5:06 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I am on meds for my disorder but it can only do so much. Counseling stoped helping me. When I get in front of a counsler I tell them what they want to hear. I know a lot with my brain but its too hard to take it to heart. I was reading a book and I liked the book until It got out of the information part and wanted me to actualy deal with the pain. I just dont know how to deal with the pain

January 29, 2006
5:16 pm
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gazelle
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Poor you. I do hope you are feeling safe these days and have no contact with g.
Here's a huge hug ((((((( Julie.))))))) Hope you are still seeing a counsellor? And taking meds for the bipolar illness? Do you still go to church, I wonder, & have supportive friends there?

Look after yourself well. Give yourself a treat right now! (I'd run you a perfumed, candlelit bath & give you a huge box of chocs if I could!) How about putting some favourite music on to give yourself some distraction & cheer?

I'm beaming much love & support & prayers over to you & your dear little boys - Gazelle xxx

January 29, 2006
5:17 pm
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gazelle
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Could you try a new counsellor? A therapist too?

January 29, 2006
5:20 pm
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Randomwomen2
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what is the diffrence between a counsler and a therapist?

January 29, 2006
6:01 pm
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Randomwomen2
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It just feels like everytime I start going further in my life the more I fall behind. Its like trying to climb a mountian with snow. Eventualy you will slip on the snow and you will have to start all over again.eventualy you are going to give up on it.

January 29, 2006
8:08 pm
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Anonymous
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not to change the subject, but random, why the need to tell the cousler what they want to hear?? what drives u to do that?

January 29, 2006
8:19 pm
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Anonymous
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not to change the subject, but random, why the need to tell the cousler what they want to hear?? what drives u to do that?

January 29, 2006
11:24 pm
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Randomwomen2
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because im programed to do so. I had to do it for so many years to hide what was going on that it is just programed into me. Its realy hard to brake

January 31, 2006
11:46 am
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Randomwomen2
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Does anyone have suggestions on how to tell people what I mean instead of make believing that everything's perfect? I usually dont even realize when I am doing it.

May 22, 2007
10:22 am
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Randomwomen2
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I am re-posting for fantas. To see the thread all you have to do is to push the view all posts icon

May 22, 2007
11:56 am
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fantas
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Thank you Random, I'll read them right now.

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