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internet stalking
December 25, 2005
5:17 pm
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camra
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internet stalking happens! but what I don't get is why in the world anyone would want to follow someone else around on the interent. The thing is you never really know if what that person is saying is true or not. You may not even know if its the person you think they are.

Id say that someone who stalks someone on the interent must lead a pretty boring life. maybe they need to think about their own life instead of focusing on someone else's..

And if you are then you deserve to read what you read!

just some thoughts on internet stalking...

camra

December 25, 2005
5:30 pm
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doushes
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hi i agree they must lead a boring life

December 25, 2005
5:34 pm
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Anonymous
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Camra, is someone stalking you? Do you want to talk about it?

Welcome to the site!

December 25, 2005
5:36 pm
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doushes
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ya is someone stalking you or did you just want to make that comet

December 25, 2005
6:22 pm
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camra
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yes I have reason to belive I am being stalked on the internet..

how to prove it or what to do about it is another thing...

camra

December 25, 2005
6:28 pm
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doushes
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im saorry idont have any advise create a thread and ask im shure you will get an answer

December 25, 2005
6:34 pm
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Anonymous
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Camra, I'm trying to understand. Do you think someone is reading your email or visiting some of the same sites that you go to online?

Does this person have access to YOUR computer? Otherwise, how would they know where you are going on the computer?

Just curious so I'll know how to answer your question.

December 25, 2005
9:05 pm
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camra
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I don't really know how or why, its just a feeling I have... So I might be right and then again I might not be right.

I wrote this just incase the person or person's I think are following me find this, they will know I know what they are doing ... And Im not playing there game, There for everything I write may or may not be true...

Im not playing the game !!!

Camra

December 25, 2005
10:42 pm
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Anonymous
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Oh, ok I see. The reasons that I asked you that is because my exbf used to visit a message board consistently, so I went there to see what his interest was. He didn't hide it from me, and he knew I signed up on the site. I did it because I wanted to see what he "said" to others when he thought he was hiding behind a keyboard.

As it turns out, he's NOT well-liked on the board he frequents, and gets into some pretty nasty name-calling games with other people at times. He's been kicked off the board numerous times, and always reinvents himself with another screenname to continue his ways. He's not the only one. It seems to be a way of life on that board. In fact, at one point when I told him I thought he was spending waaaaaaaaay too much time there (he was unemployed for 2 years), he told me I needed to "stay out of the clubhouse." And after we "broke up", he was hoping I still read there, because he baited me into a few conversations, by saying negative things about me and/or things I believe in. It worked at first, then I realized what he was doing, and refused to go back there. He called me a "stalker" as well, even though it is a public message board.

I probably shouldn't have "followed him around" on that board either, but I can tell you that I learned a hell of alot more about who he was on the inside from his posts than who he presented himself to be in front of me. He would use racial slurs, he was derogatory towards women, he taunted people who expressed a belief in God, and he would join other "bullys" in berated another person they didn't like or agree with. It was the most negative, foul, contaminated environment I have ever seen. Lots of pornography, lots of women put downs, lots of sexually explicit inuendos.

If I had not "followed" him there, he would have "fooled me" for much longer, because when he was with me, he was on his best behavior. It took me a while, but the mask finally came off and he was exposed for who he really was. He claims it's "entertaining", and "fun". I think it's HORRIBLE to treat people (even though they are in cyber space) like they don't matter and say anything you want with no accountability or responsibility. Just another way to be irresponsible, in my opinion.

So, that's why I asked. I'm not saying I was right to check him out on that board, but I'm really sooooooo glad I did! I found out quicker who he really was. And it ain't pretty!

December 25, 2005
11:17 pm
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camra
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plzdon'tsayuneedme, just a few questions , did you break up with this boy friend of yours before you started following him? Or after?

There really is never any reason to stalk someone on the interent or other wise. NO ONe has the right to do so.. and it is illegal..

Some people play act on the internet, meaning being someone they are not because its safe too do so..

Or just a place to let off stress.

Im not saying this is what your ex did. However never think you know someone just from reading post on the internet... you could say,, is it live or is it memor-x...

anyway, my point is stalking is illegal no matter what the reason is. And actually a person can get sued for doing so...

camra

December 25, 2005
11:27 pm
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Anonymous
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Hi Camra, to answer a few of your questions...I went to the message board he frequented first WHILE we were dating. He knew I had signed up there, and didn't mind until we started having problems. Then all of a sudden, I was "stalking" him by reading his posts. He said the same as you concerning "internet personalities", but I respectfully disagree. He may have been "letting off stress" as you suggested, but I knew when I saw that he was capable of acting that way, that it wasn't gonna work for me. I guess with me what you see is what you get, and I want the guy I choose to give my heart to to be the same way. I didn't want any surprises down the road.

Obviously, we already had some trust issues, or I wouldn't have been concerned. He just confirmed some of my suspicions about him when I read some of his posts. And how can it be considered stalking when it's a public message board? The whole world can read what is posted on the internet. Same way with this site. I don't say anything here that I wouldn't say to his face. And I expected the same from him. I just felt like I was being duped, and I have way to much to lose by being conned. Just my take on it, I suppose.

December 25, 2005
11:47 pm
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camra
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plzdon'tsayuneedme, well reading a few post on the interent by this person really would not be considered stalking, how ever if you followed this person around all over the interent, and beyond then your stalking.

anyway thats what stalking is...

camra

December 25, 2005
11:51 pm
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Anonymous
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Thanks, camra. I am sorry if you feel like someone is invading your privacy. And I hope if that is the case, that you are able to get to the bottom of it and confront the person.

Take care, and good luck!

plz~

December 25, 2005
11:54 pm
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camra
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here is a link to stalking...

http://www2.fmg.uva.nl/sociosi.....ng_en.html

camra

January 1, 2006
6:30 am
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lewis
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thats interesting stuff, would that involve looking at the history on they web view? i suppose the reasons why someone may be stalking differ.

January 1, 2006
7:05 pm
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22haha
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When does snooping (because you have been cheated on) and driving by places (because you have been lied to repeatedly) become stalking? Is there a difference between protecting yourself (or trying to figure out the truth) -vs- stalking someone. If you aren't doing physical or mental harm - what is the problem with "checking" out their story - or "checking" out who they are online conversing with/ text messaging? Just curious. I am out of that relationship now but I would NEVER consider myself a stalker but I certainly tried to get to the bottom of things for my own sanity/protection. Just curious what you think of that, Camra.

January 1, 2006
11:09 pm
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camra
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well in my own opioin stalking would be when you have become obsessed with what this other person is doing, or where this other person is at. Then if you are driveing by the house all the time ect.....

That is stalking,,

I don't know about that type of situation because I haven't been involved with someone in quite a few years.. so I don't have that situation...

camra

January 2, 2006
1:09 am
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camra
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however I have one more thing to say on this subject,,,

When you are stalking someone you may think your not hurting them but you really are, mentally, emotionally and even phsycially. most people know when they are being stalked...

can cause extream fear, and the feeling of overwhelmeing stress which in turn can cause illness..

think about it..

camra

January 2, 2006
3:52 am
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zinnia
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Purpose probably has a lot to do with it.

Is the follower trying to get information they need, like finding out for sure that a spouse is not really at work when they thought, was, so that they could decide whether to divorce?

Or is the follower trying to make sure someone does not have a life in which they can forget about someone and move on?

Does the follower have a legitimate interest and a legitimate intention, and is there a fairly quick end to it?

I remember thinking I was being stalked one time. I was in college, and a certain male student would show up in different places and just stare at me, and I began to get scared, because once when I returned his look he quickly hid.

Then one day I happened to sit in a cafe where he worked. I almost got up and left when I recognized him behind the counter, but I felt stubborn enough to stay put. He watched me and sure enough he started wiping tables in a nervous way, making little glances. I tried hard to just stare at my book and drink my coffee.

Then he started wiping the table next to mine and staring me fdull in the face so I looked him in the face, and then he said "Janet?!" and I almost shrieked "I'm not Janet!"

The poor guy got so flustered and embarrassed! All that time he was wondering why some lost love was ignoring him and it was just that I have a face that is very common. I knew immediately from his reaction that he had not been stalking, but had been struggling instead with some kind unanswered question.

And then there was a man I still remember very fondly. We were aquaintances. He often would remark that he happened to be going by my place (on the same road as his) and he noticed this or that about the yard and what I was doing. I didn't recognize the depth of his feelings until one day when I had reason to be driving home by the same route that usually took him past my place, and I realized that the only way he could see anything in my yard was to pull over to a certain angle and look back.

This caused me to appreciate his attention a little more, and we had a very sweet romance.

I have also really been stalked. That seems to be a standard practice in some circles. I have learned to collect the evidence, confront the stalker, and make a report. In most cases that stops it. Most recently I have received emails from someone who seemed like a casual friend, met by chance. But we had some mutual aquaintances that have a history with me, and when he began asking me questions about personal things and also about why I avoided the mutual aquaintances I told him I simply dislike these two people and have nothing more to say. He persisted out of "concern" and finally I told him he really just needs to mind his own business.

Then he posted his private emails to me in an internet thread where both of these people would see it, and insisted that I publicly explain myself!

Instead, I posted about the subject of some people meddling in other people's business and told him to stop using the internet for personal discussions, and I blocked him from being able to email me.

So he emailed one of the people I would not associate with and asked her to confront me in the same thread.

She posted a string of very personal insults, which she had already "shared" privately with me because I had refused to do some work for her and so she had "accidentally" cc'd me on these things she was mailing to other people about me.

Naturally I responded with a shocked defense and a request to the board admins to remove their posts, and then she posted this:
"really, please help me shut (full legal name) up, and without benefit of attorneys because that is such a hassle".

I reported that to police, FWIW (it is not a police-level threat, but obviously disturbing) and the board hosts are looking into the whole mess.

The one who had acted like a friend caught in the middle turned out to have been a stalker, because when the two of them did that in that thread, it still looked like he was just clueless and "overly concerned" about my refusal to work with someone else.

So I called him up, and he did not know my voice so I said I was calling for her, and thanking him for letting her know about the thread.

This was a test to see A. if in fact he really was the one who invited her in and B. If, having seen how vicious she was when she arrived, he felt remorse.

Not one bit! He saw me as a nasty whistleblower and was glad to be doing his part! So then I told him who I was, and that in fact I had no reason to blow any whistles on anyone who would just leave me alone, which is what he should have done.

He was an internet stalker, and I had no idea at all until this happened!

But he has stopped bothering me. Hopefully he will think twice before bothering anyone else.

The disgusting part is that he presented such an apparently sweet and friendly personality while he did this. And he had the nerve to complain I was deceptive because I tricked him in a single phone call just to ascertain for myself that my suspicion about his "friendship" was true!

Without having done that, I would still be in contact with that person, having no idea at all that he had an agenda.

January 2, 2006
4:05 am
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camra
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zinnia, Wow, that really sounds horrible. My sisutation is that I feel that some people are gathering information about me to use agaisnt me to basically runin my life..

informations about my Disabilities, and stuff like that. And yes just like you I just want it to stop! just live and let live, that is the way I live my life.

These people have NO RIGHT to intrude in my life like this! NONE what so ever!!!!

how to confront them when I don't have any evidence is beyond me..

But boy Id sure like too!!!

camra

January 2, 2006
4:37 am
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camra
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Also stalking can cause post tramatic stress syndrome. Espeically if you think your very life is being threatend. Which I think may be my situation.

(life being threatend meaning, someone out to runin me)

camra

January 2, 2006
4:50 am
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camra
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post tramatic stress syndrome.....

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/facts....._ptsd.html

camra

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