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Internet dating question
May 27, 2005
3:27 pm
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sdesigns
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I have been thinking about joining a dating site and have been getting matches sent to me. yestaerday I was sent a match and it is someone I know! He is a contractor I occasionally do business with and I am not interested in him but now I am hesitant to have him find me on a dating site. Not that he would be interested in me because I doubt that he is, but on a professional basis, I think I would be uncomfortable. He has mentioned he wants me to do some work for him at his house at some time in the future so maybe I'll just avoid this for now. What do you think? SD

May 27, 2005
3:29 pm
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Anonymous
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SSD- I know that on some websites you can block people, can you do that on yours?

May 27, 2005
3:36 pm
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I'm not sure- its Yahoo Personals. I haven't joined yet, was just thinking about it. There's a few guys that seem interesting.

May 27, 2005
3:38 pm
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Anonymous
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Ohh, I am on there, there is a way that only the people you contact can see your profile. I am not sure what it is under, I think where it says profile searchable, you can make it non searchable so only people you contact can see it.

May 27, 2005
3:42 pm
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sdesigns
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OK, thanks. What do you think you would do? Don't you have more opportunites to meet people if you're not blocked?

May 27, 2005
11:45 pm
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Anonymous
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No you don't meet as many people but in your situation you wanted someone specific to not see you on the dating website.

May 27, 2005
11:57 pm
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Well, you COULD try a different site like Match.com or eHarmony.com...

But don't take yourself off of the site just because of this.

IF he contacts you on the site...
If he even sees you on the site...

You are both there for the same reason! So there are NO reasons at all to be embarissed!

How would you feel if you two met eachother on accident at a bar while you were out looking to hook up? Would you sever your business relationship with him then?

The situation only gets uncomfterable or embarising if YOU make it that way.

IF he contacts you on the site then just be nice and inform him that you feel that it would violate your business ethicks if you continued and that you request that you keep your relationship strictly business.

But what are the chances of him actually finding you, recognizing you, and then put himself in a potential Sexual Harrasment Suit by contacting you?

And on the off chance that he contacts you not realizing it is you then just don't respond to his contacts.

This situation can either be easy or hard and it is all dependant on YOUR attitude.

I don't mean to be a bitch or anything but I am a Blunt Person!

Hope this puts things in a new perspective!

Good luck!

May 28, 2005
2:57 am
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bonita1
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My therapist mentioned that the best site was the eHarmony.com site. I am reading the founder of eharmony.com's book how to find soul mate in 2 dates or less. Very interesting. I would go there and not go to the yahoo personals,where someone I know is at.

look for it on amazon.com called:

date or soul mate (how to know if someone is worth pursuing in two dates or less.) by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D., the founder of eHarmony.com.

May 28, 2005
1:11 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Bonita: I joined e.harmony last year w/out success. I've been sent about 8 matches and went thru the process w/ only 2 as all others were way out of my area plus not appealing. The 2 I went thru w/ were both quite a bit older, one even looked old enough to be my father and he was very pushy so I backed out of that one. The other one was somewhat appealing, quite a bit older and very very rich- way out of my league. I thought I would try Yahoo as a last ditch effort, as I have tried match.com and One2One match. Yahoo has some guys posted that look interesting but who knows. Its not buying a blouse out of a catalog- you know? I just want a down to earth guy, decent looking, that doesn't drink or gamble or have a sex addiction. Geez- its so hard. I'm looking for a little companionship, not a man as a retirement plan. But its so difficult. Ugh.

May 28, 2005
3:48 pm
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bonita1
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LOL I was told eharmony might take up to a year to find a match, hee hee!

So you got some old geezers? Oh my gosh!! And you turned down the rich old geezer?????!!! Was that wise, sd?

I'm just kiddin, hon!! Nobody would accuse you of being a gold-digger.

I joined serveral sites in January and I had to drop out of all in Feb. per my therapist advice. I never wanted to go out with anyone I just wanted to talk and have a mild flirtation, that's all.

But a lot of the guys were real PUSHY. I hate that. And a lot of the guys were really unattractive. Yahoo seemed to have better looking men but some of the other sites, oooh maaaan!!! Now that is shallow and I apologize, but if there is no initial attraction, what's the point!!! And guys, please keep your clothes on when you take those pictures that are posted on these sites!! Puh-leeeze! Keep America beautiful!! LOL mybad!!

The only man I have really stayed in contact with is the postman. I met him on a Catholic website for singles. He works for the US Post office and is not pushy. But I am cooling it with him, too, because he was getting too important to me and I don't want to go there.

Anyway, join several at the same time and have lots of fun fishing, girlfriend!!! LOL

May 28, 2005
4:00 pm
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Ha e-harmony rejected me because it said I am in the 20% that is undatable, how special for me.

May 28, 2005
4:09 pm
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sdesigns
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Yeah, I've had pics sent of naked guys too. They might as well just send a pic of their dick if thats all they are offering (LOL). It seems these sites are so business oriented- when I decide to quit one all of a sudden they send me all kinds of matches, seems like it is timed to get me to join again. Just thought I'd try Yahoo for a new crop.

Aces, I might as well be undatable at e.harmony w/ the small selection they have sent me. And only 2 were interested in corresponding w/ me anyhow (the old guys).

May 28, 2005
5:05 pm
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bonita1
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aces! what does that mean? It means you are soooo fine that you are in the top 20!! yeah!!

LOL, with sd's experience you can thank your lucky stars that you did not get any dates there!!

Seriously, hon, I'm interested to know how they explained that 20% undatable nonsense to you??? I don't get how or what criteria they use???

sd, that's why you need to join several at the same time so that you have a wider selection.

May 28, 2005
11:38 pm
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Be careful of Yahoo Personals....I swear I have seen the same photo and description of men that have been active on there for at least 3 years...what does that say about them?

May 29, 2005
2:40 am
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bonita1
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I believe you are right, hurts!!!!! I thought that some of those faces looked familiar but then I thought it was because I saw them on different singles sites, too!!

What was really scarey was when I checked on a site, maybe Yahoo i don't remember, and i saw a picture of a guy that i worked with who is a real #$%@!HEAD at work but his profile gave the total opposite picture of who he really was.

So take all of the written stuff with a very large dose of salt. It's probably all lies. But if you go to these sites with the attitude of having a little fun... what's wrong with that?? Just be safe, use all those self defense techniques you read about internet safety.

~~bonita

ps i stayed away from that site, too!!!

May 29, 2005
2:43 am
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bonita1
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oooh, and i just remembered, there was some guy who IMed me and i clicked ignore and then went on another site and he was there and IMed me again on that different site. I blocked him again! That was creepy. It felt like I was being stalked.

Thank God those sites protect your anonymity!!!

May 31, 2005
9:55 am
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artist 2
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I've used those dating sites for years... it's been bad and good. eHarmony rejected me too! No matches with them.

If you have the money, "It's just lunch" is a good program. Is there one in your area? They match you up for lunch dates.

May 31, 2005
11:58 am
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sdesigns
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Yeah, I checked out it just lunch and it was $1,500.00 w a guarantee of a certain number of dates (not very many). I thought that was pretty expensive.

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