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Interesting site on Narcissism......
February 2, 2005
5:28 pm
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woundedspirit
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Great and interesting site!

February 2, 2005
9:12 pm
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Phalic_Liberator
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February 2, 2005
9:18 pm
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Kentuckygirl24
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What is narcissism? sorry.

February 3, 2005
5:54 pm
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karen2oo5
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hi just read up on narcissist,im even more confused,i dont no which one my ex is or if he is all three,control freak,narcissist,or manic depressive,no wonder i feei the way i do any one feel the way i do please let me no cause i feel like im going round the bend,karen

February 4, 2005
2:08 pm
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karen2oo5
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hi twinks im so glad you replied,as yes i do feel like im going round the bend but here goes i hope you can understand what i am trying to work out.it concerns my sort of ex i have been seeing him on off for two half years he was great in the begining,but his behaviour became more and more bizzare,with mood swings,destructiveness,controlling behaviour,along with couldnt do enough for me,decorating taking me out for meals,gifts and plenty of attention then no attention,recently he told me he is manic depressive which said it all for his behaviour untill last weekend now im wondering if he has narcissists traits because of what he has done or is there very similar charateristics as manic depressive people hope this makes sence x karen

February 4, 2005
2:17 pm
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sewunique
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Read it, learn about it, now am getting away from him as far as possible. Nope, not going to continue to dwell on what the damages living with or continue to try to rationalize with a narcistic behavior person. Cuz you can't win; it's not about winning. It's about them grandstanding for an audience. They want attention; whether it is positive or negative; they want the attention on themselves.

Walk, run away from them. Give no response to them. That is the only way to deal with them, because WITHOUT AN AUDIENCE, THEY HAVE NOTHING.

Just my opinion, for whatever it's worth.

February 4, 2005
2:42 pm
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karen2oo5
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thanks sewunique,but thats just it i dont know if he or not. be cause he is manic depressive some of his behaviour could make him look like a narcissist as ive been told there are similararities with their symptoms was wondering if anyone had any input on this x karen

February 4, 2005
3:32 pm
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karen2oo5
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yeah your rite thankyou infact that is what im trying to do,but its those thoughts that go round and round you know,im just begining to learn about boundries its all new to me and really scarey, im so used to thinking that its all my fault but thanks again need to be reminded every so often x karen

February 4, 2005
3:59 pm
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sewunique
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Karen,

I totally agree here with Twinks. In your confusion, to learn and searching about yourself (as I am), it is best to focus on just that. Otherwise, the confusion will continue to haunt you and immobilze you.

Once you begin to learn to take care of what your needs are and putting yourself first, the other stuff is clearer to see and understand. And then it doesn't seem to be all consuming in your life anymore.

February 4, 2005
6:11 pm
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karen2oo5
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thanks for your support its hard to focus on yourself when your not used to it xx karen

February 4, 2005
6:59 pm
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readyforachange
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karen,

I read your posts....and it seems that you are in the same boat I was in about 8 months ago. I wanted information, wanted to learn all about what was "wrong" with my husband so I could understand him, and fix him. SO very codependent. Then I started posting here...I realized that I needed to focus all of that energy and attention on myself and my kids, and that my husband's problems were his problems. Understanding them or diagnosing them was not going to change anything.

It sounds like you're starting to see that you need to work on YOU, and that is so great and so important. Please keep posting, and listening to the advice you'll get here. Take care...

February 5, 2005
5:35 am
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karen2oo5
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September 24, 2010
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thankyou readyforachange wicked choice of name, thats why i chose karen2oo5,i wanted to go into 2oo5 with a new me,its hard though im so easily drawn back into my old ways,was doing it again this morning looking up some book, just so that i could get some reassurance, that somewhere down the line he might of cared about me just a little,but i came here instead were people have already shown great interest in me THANKYOU EVERY ONE x karen

February 5, 2005
9:18 am
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readyforachange
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You know, Karen....I made that wish on New Year's Eve every year for the past several. That 2003 would be different, that 2004 would be different....but it never was because I was trying to focus all of my energies into changing HIM and not myself. We had been married for 17 years, and met in 1981....long history, nothing ever changed for the long haul. So I decided that 2005 would be the year I took my life back (had to start that process at the end of 2004). This year, so far, has been crazy because my STBX is trying to keep me in that controlling, manipulative, abusive game of his. But I am at peace, because I am not allowing him to suck me into the game. He is going to greater and greater lengths to hurt me...closing my bank accounts, turning off my utilities, having a female friend record his voicemail message for him, refusing to pay any bills...and I'm choosing NOT TO REACT. It is driving him crazy because I've remained calm, ignored him, and stayed at peace. I'm waking up each morning trying to focus on the good things I have, and vowing to not allow his games to bother me. And it's working. I'm finally in control, even though he is trying to make me miserable.

I wish you strength, and peace, and happiness. Please keep working on yourself to find it....

February 5, 2005
12:14 pm
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karen2oo5
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September 24, 2010
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hi readyfourachange,thank you for sharing your personal life with me,i also have had my share of abuse over the years,three abusive relationships physical,and mental,then i had two years out with some counseling thought i had moved on met someone new,thought he was everything until bit by bit i didnt know who i was i am now having therapy and have done loads of reading now currently reading women who love too much,and most of all something i have never known about setting boundries the best thing ive ever learnt along with learning how to loving and respecting myself.i am here if you ever need to talkx karen

February 5, 2005
1:08 pm
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readyforachange
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karen,

You know, I think sometimes we dwell on all of the years of abuse we've tolerated. That doesn't really help anything. I used to think how much of my life I'd lost, but now I try to think of all the years I have ahead of me that I will choose how to live. I haven't read that book yet, but I've heard it's a good one. On my list of things to read once things calm down, which is usually in the summer for me because I'm a teacher.

I think the fact that we have both made decisions to help ourselves in any way possible is a huge step in the right direction. Bravo to you!

February 5, 2005
3:59 pm
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karen2oo5
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September 24, 2010
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thanks readyforachange,yer your right it does not help thinking to much about the past i am lucky to have the insight that i now have,i have much to look forward to,since i have learnt about setting boundries and learning to appreciate me and love myself more it has had amazing ripple effects for my children too seeing me move on and more happier has given them the strength to do the same i see now how important it is for children to not be surrounded by abuse.Bravo to you as well xkaren

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