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interest in the air force-Jewel
March 29, 2007
12:15 am
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jewel
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I have been interested in the air force for a very long time. Before I met my fiance. After 9/11, I wanted to serve the U.S., but did not have the courage at that point in my life. Now, after falling into love and what not, I feel the urge to join. I am 26 and not getting any younger. This is something that I always wanted to do. A dream of mine. My fiance is very upset because I want to go active. I don't know what to do. My basic training is 6 weeks and then you go to tech school for training for 3 months and then start your job. If we are married then, he would have my benefits and if we lived on base, the housing and utilities are free. Sounds like a good deal to me. My recruiter said that the chances of me going over to Iraq or Afghanastan are slim because of the field that I want to get into, but I would be willing to go regardless. It is part of the job. I don't know what to do. If I go with my heart, I would go. In the process, I feel like I am breaking my fiance's heart. He said it took him years to meet the love of his life and now I may go. He said that he would not go with me. I feel if he truely loved me, he would come along. He could get a cop job whereever we are stationed. I am willing to move out of state for him if he gets a job out of state which he is looking into, but he won't do this for me. Kind of makes me wonder if he is even the right guy. Any suggestions or thoughts would be very much appreciated at this hard time for me. Thank you.

Jewel

March 29, 2007
12:30 am
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jewel
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I am not sure if I can even get in because I am going to be honest and tell them that I was in rehab in the past, but it was more for the 21 thing and I did the right thing by getting help. As far as being bipolar, without the meds, I am so much better off. I am not going to mention it. I just want to join and start a new career.

Jewel

March 29, 2007
12:34 am
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cpt1212
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jewel,

if this is something you really want to do--do it! if not you will regret it later. if he loves you he will follow and if he doesn't and wants you to compromise yourself for him then you have to ask if that is how you want to start your relationship.

March 29, 2007
1:13 am
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cpt,

I agree with you. I am all about joining the air force. My dad would be so proud of me too. He was in the marines and always wanted one of us kids to join the service and thought I was the only one that could make it. I think after 28, I couldn't go in anymore. I thought it was 34 but the recruiter told me something else. Like it is much harder. I can't remember, but to me now feels right. I would like to first off, get accepted and then have a wedding ceremony before I go. That way, we both have benefits and go from there. I really couldn't see my honey just get up and walk away from me. If he loves me, he will support me. What is wrong with wanting to support my country? I don't see anything wrong with it. I wonder if it is just him feeling a little envious because he tried to join the marines and they wouldn't accept him because he had asmaha. Maybe he feels like he should have been the one to go. Also his brother-in-law was killed over in iraq in 03 so he could just be feeling protective over me. I don't know and everytime I try to talk to him about it, he doesn't want to talk. I told him I am still in the thinking process. It is not definite. I have to weigh at least 110 pounds. I only weighed 97 this morning and just weighed myself and weighed a mere 95 pounds. I don't look that skinny though. At least in my eyes. I eat a lot and when I am full, I keep going. Esp. with pizza. I may have to buy some weight gainer or something. Trouble is everything goes to my stomach.

March 29, 2007
2:20 am
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jewel
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I really want to do this so I think I am going to do it. This is my life and I am the only one that has to live it. My fiance will stick with me if he really deep down loves me and he should honor any of my lifelong dreams. I would do the same for him and have. I stand by his side and he does for me as well. But for some odd reason, this is just upsetting him. How can I make things better?

Jewel

March 29, 2007
8:06 am
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1lost1
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Jewel,

My son went into the AF last June. They discontinued his contract and 17 other people in his flights contract. The AF claims to have discontinued their jobs. They were all offered placement in the Army.

Most of them, including my son decided to leave. All the people that left were issued honorable discharges with no benefits.

Becareful sweets. Ask your recruiter if your potential job can be ended.

Take care, 1L1

March 29, 2007
9:11 am
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risingfromtheashes
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Also know that your medical history will be reviewed and if bipolar is on your record, even if not on meds at this time, they may not accept you.

I don't want to be the wet blanket, but they do a pretty thorough screening and will get copies of all medical records...so even if you don't tell them, they will find out.

The rehab thing at 21 isn't a huge issue....most of the time.

Also know that if you are not married you cannot have your boyfriend move in with you or live with you or transfer with you....so if you are accepted, you need to get married right away...otherwise, he will need to be left behind.

Also know that base housing is NOT guaranteed, there is a waiting list...and frequently families are forced to live off base and given an allowance for their rent and utilities....and it's frequently NEVER enough.

My best friend was in the Navy, and transferred and got told she was on the waiting list for base housing, and she had a baby....she had to find off base housing and it cost her much more than her allowance. In the end, she had to leave, cuz she wasn't making enough money to make ends meet, even with food stamps and day care allowances.

So, be careful, ask alot of questions.

March 29, 2007
8:24 pm
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Thanks for the additional info that I never thought of. I am interested in the accounting field, medical field, or a counselor. I will ask my recruiter about the chances of losing my job if I do decide to go with the air force. I realize we would have to be married to live on base. I am aware of that. That is no biggie. Just go to the jp and have our wedding later. Then we will have more money by then too. I am a little worried about boot camp, but I can and will get through it. I will not give up. I am not going to tell them that I am bipolar because I do not not in fact if that is what I really have. I think the weather plays a big part in my moods and when things are looking good in my life no matter what the weather and I am staying busy, I am pretty much happy. My fiance just doesn't want to talk about me joining. Well, I have news for him. I have another another appt. next week with the recruiter to further discuss in detail other questions that I may have. I am going to give them my old docs name and number. I was not diagonosed with bipolar by him but with depression but that stemmed with the drinking. One step at a time here. I am not going to rush into anything just yet. I have too much on my plate to make a decision just yet.

Jewel

March 30, 2007
3:05 am
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lovinglife
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Hey Jewel~ Wanted to stop on by and say thanks for the BD wishes and for the reminder that YES 40's are the new 30's!! Thank you

(I only read your original post here, my response is based on that)…..

Decisions as what to do with our lives are limitless (thinking about your interest in the Air Force) and are always worth the time to explore any option that intrigues us. Exploring options for me (that has come out of my 'thoughts') has led the way for a few good things in my life and often what I thought I would be exploring turned out to be a completely different outcome. Who knows what your thoughts going on about the Air Force truly mean...once you explore it further (not saying join up!) and do more investigating, talking with the recruiter some more, searching the net regarding the "Air Force"...maybe this has to do more with your future husbands future ...who knows...

Take Care Jewel. And don't get discouraged about your future husbands response to what is going on in your head with the thoughts about the AF. One of the things I am so looking forward to someday with being in a committed relationship is those times of disagreement- as it can bring you closer together and deepen the bond shared. Means then you have to do some communicating- which too often is lacking in many relationships. Good luck!

((((Jewel))))

March 30, 2007
10:01 am
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1lost1
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Good luck Jewel!

March 30, 2007
2:45 pm
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Anonymous
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JEWEL,

When are you going to face your problems? Going into the Airforce will be very hard for you. I think addressing your problems and then going to the airforce would be better. you don't need anymore pressures in your life. just saying this because I have read your posts over along time. Running away to the Airforce will not solve your problems. Your fiance needs to get a good job before you get married.

March 30, 2007
2:59 pm
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Anonymous
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I'm sorry Jewel I care for you. I am bipolar also. It you would like to talk I will be on tonight. Infact I would love to talk to you. What time to meet. I live in CA.

March 31, 2007
12:04 am
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Thanks everyone for all the support. It means a lot to me. Jillian, I am not trying to run away from problems by joining the air force. This has been my dream for years now and it is very unfortunate that I fell in love with a great guy and now I finally have the courage to join. I know that I have to gain weight in order to get in. I only weigh not even 100 pounds and for my height you have to be at least 110. I don't know how long that will take. The recruiter gave me a schedule of when what exactly happens when in the process of joining and being in the air force and you are to have your med check and take the test before going to view one of the bases. Since I am so light and have a hard time gaining weight, I may ask if I can join them anyway on the trip out to dc to see what the base is like. I think eventually things with my fiance will work out and if he truly loves me, then they will. If not, my heart is telling me to live my dreams and not stray away from them. I am willing to move out of state for him to get another job. No problem. I would do it in a heart beat. I love to travel and go to different places. That is something that makes me very happy. Jillian, I don't even know if I am really bipolar. I have always been a moody person and being that I was drinking a lot before that could have had a lot to do with my moods going crazy with all the hangovers and all. LL, thanks for the advice. You are so right about problems sometimes making you closer in the end. ANd last but not least, thanks to lost for the kind words. That means a lot to me.

Love ya all,

Jewel

March 31, 2007
12:04 am
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truthBtold
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Jewel,

I agree with the brutal honesty of Jilliann44's post.

Have you signed any papers yet?

God, let's hope not!!!!!!

The military is definently NOT the place that you want to be right now!!!!!!!

Honey, they will tell you anything that you want to hear about what you THINK you are signing into - but once they have your signature......they've GOTCHA!!!!!!

I know!

My cousin was naive and learned the hard way.

God - I hope and pray that you did not go and sign anything yet - and even so - I should think that you might be regarded as "mentally unstable" - sorry hon, no harm or malice intended - just the cold hard facts of what putting your signature upon a military page can encompass!!!!!

You are literally "signing your life away" to a premise in which you not only have any control over - but to which you most likely, will never understand.

It's just bad news jewel, all the way around.

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!

It is NOT the answer!!!!

Matter of fact, as cold as this may sound, many, MANY recruiters prey on lonely souls such as yourself to sign up and virtually - tell them anything they want to hear.....so long as they get the main thing....and THAT IS....your signature on the dotted line.

Don't Do IT JEWEL!!!!!

You don't know what you are getting yourself into!!!!!!!

Back Out If You Can!!!!!!!

This is really, REALLY, BAD NEWS FOR YOU!!!!!!!

These recruiters PREY on the lost and lonely.......TRUST ME!!!!!!

DO NOT SIGN ANY PAPERS......and in the event that you already have - you can always say that you felt great pressure and personal diress to sign and make a decision immediately based upon the recruiters promises and insistence and that you were not of "sound mind" in the process.

Jewel, honey, this is not the way to go!!!!!!

Trust Me - I KNOW what I am talking about here!!!!!!

Back out now if you possibly can.

You Have Other Options!!!!!!!!!

March 31, 2007
1:06 am
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jewel
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Jillian girl,

Are you there? I would be interested in talking. I don't know how long I will be on since I am on the east coast. It is 1 am now. I am normally up until at least 3 though. Hope to talk to you or anyone that could give me some pointers about the airforce or anything about life in general.

Jewel

March 31, 2007
1:09 am
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katarina
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meet you tomorrow girl ok? tired

March 31, 2007
1:25 am
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jewel
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Sounds good to me. Talk to you then.

Jewel

March 31, 2007
9:00 pm
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jewel
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bumping this up for more advice if any out there. I am thinking of leaving the house for a couple of days just to do some thinking about some things. About marriage and whether or not we are right for each other. It seems like we both want different things and that makes it hard. I should be stressed, but I have been very happy and interested in the air force. I will get my education for free unless I end up deployed which I would do in a heartbeat. That is what the armed forces are for.

Jewel

March 31, 2007
11:10 pm
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healintime
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Jewel honey,

You need to do what's right for you. That covers your relationship, your career, school, family, and your health.

My only advice is that you don't do anything drastic, or permanent, while you are tapering off your medications. Scaling back on a brain-chemical medication, or benzo - any of them, can play havoc with your moods. If you're scaling back on all of your medications right now - it will take a while for you, and your mood to adjust.

Proceed with caution, honey. Objectively, you've been all over the map in the last few weeks - excited at your appointemnt with the plastic surgeon, cancelled the appointment with the plastic surgeon. Excited about the wedding, very much in love with your fiancee, then the wedding was postponed. You've written, often, about how perfect you tow are for each other and how you don't know what you'd do without him. You recently overdosed on your medication again, now you're trying to get off the meds, and you want to join the air force and are thinking about whether your relationship is right for you. You were also excited and proud (rightly so) about one year sober and talking about all the positive changes it has brought, then asked for feedback on control drinking.

Jewel - with all the love and respect in the world - that's an awful lot of flip-flops and mind-changing. And if you're winding down the meds, it's to be expected.

For now, can you concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other until your body catches up with the new dosage? I was on an antidepressant a few years back. Wasn't a high dose but coming off it really threw me around, emotionally. Maybe put all these big decisions on hold, just for now, and see how you feel about them in a few weeks. Could be that you really aren't right for each other and that you absolutely do want to join the AF. But you might want to take a deep breath and concentrate on getting as healthy as you can. You have your whole life ahead of you and have had some pretty big struggles in the last year.

Take care of yourself.

Hugs,

H.

April 1, 2007
1:41 am
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Thanks healin,

All of what you said makes perfect sense. I wanted to join the air force for as long as I can remember. If my fiance is not going to stand by me, then obviously he is not the right guy for me. I am not being selfish here either. He is looking for a job out of state. What if I have a good job here? I am going to get up and move. I think he is the one being selfish and I feel that I need some space right now to be alone. For him to move out for a few days or so or I go to a relatives to really do some serious thinking about things. If I tell him that, he will say we are through though. I know how he is. He will just say, talk to me and explain how you feel. I can't do that when I still don't even really know. I need to be alone and have my space. He is going to be furious when I tell him and I dread this, but this is what needs to be done. This is my life and I need to do whatever makes me happy. I need to find that out and I know I can't do that in a few days, but I think solitude and quietness would really help me. It is not like I plan on leaving him right now and that is why I am doing this. It is for the best and the future of this relationship. I want to be fair to him and get the same back. If I need my space, he should honor that. He worries too much what his family thinks, like we are having problems. That is not really the case. I just need to be by myself or get away for awhile and do some serious soul searching. Without him around. I love him dearly, but want to make wise decisions. I hope everything works out.

Love,

Jewel

Does that seem mean or disrespectful of me to do to him? I don't want to be doing the wrong thing here. I just feel solitude is best in my heart. I need that alone time.

April 1, 2007
7:41 am
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Hi Jewel.

At age 26, I think your own personal development is a much higher priority than any boyfriend stuff. My opinion.

If you dig the air force and like the training offered, then I'd say give it a go. You sound pretty enthusiastic, so I would expect you to do well there. And the education benefits are really good.

As far as higher education goes, joining the American Armed Forces is almost 50 percent as good as being born a citizen of...Germany, for example.

The drawback is that you might be required take orders that place you in mortal danger, and or require you to place others in mortal danger. Or just kill them actually.

Soldiering is a tough, really tough job,

You like it? Give it a try.

April 2, 2007
1:34 am
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NAZZDACK
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Just remember when you sign your name on the dotted line, Uncle Sam owns you. You take orders and keep your mouth shut. There is also a good chance the person giving you orders is going to be someone younger than you that started right out high school and you feel that your age entitles you to your own opinion.

Try the Air Force reserves first. At least then it gives you a taste of the military and your commitment will only be one weekend a month. It is always easier to go reserves to active duty, but impossible to leave active duty staus to anything other than dishonorable disharge should you choose to quit.

April 18, 2007
5:59 pm
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truthBtold
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I think that the Air Force Reserves is an EXCELLENT suggestion from NAZZDACK!!!!!

Will allow you to "get your feet wet" without committing hook, line & sinker!!!!!!

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