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Inside the mind of abusive men...a must read
September 5, 2006
3:02 pm
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doubleloss
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This book landed in my hands a few days ago and it has helped me a lot to start understanding things I didn't and I think it will help me to get to the point where i can start healing.

the book name is "Why does he do that? - inside the mind of controlling and abusive men", by Lundy Bancroft.

The author is a doctor that specializies in counselling abusive men. The book is a compilation of his findings while working with over 2000 abusive men from all walks of life and their partners. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.

September 5, 2006
3:23 pm
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StronginHim77
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Thanks for the recommendation. I heard about this book from some other people on the threads. Guess I should add it to my "MUST READ" list.

- Strong

September 5, 2006
3:55 pm
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healintime
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September 27, 2010
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Such a helpful book - and a great recommendation. There's an actual "red flag" list that i think should be sent to every woman of dating age...

What I really found interesting was that some of the red flags (being showered with overwhelming attention, him planning your dates etc.) is what we're -taught- to believe is "romantic." It's all that "swept off your feet' stuff.

I loved the book because he uses real examples of how controlling/abusive men just do not, cannot, act/react "normally." And he's realistic about how much work it takes for them to change, and how rare it is.

September 5, 2006
7:16 pm
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lovinglife
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Thanks doubleloss- will be on my "book list."

Anything that helps us gain understanding... helps in the healing process.

September 5, 2006
7:40 pm
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Worried_Dad
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September 24, 2010
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Bancroft is probably my favorite writer on the subject and this is some of his best writing.

A caveat though: Lundy is of the bizarre and mistaken belief that the psychology and behavior he describes does not apply to women. He goes so far as to say that the vast majority of men who report having been physically abused by a female partner are themselves batterers, and lists that as a red flag.

September 5, 2006
11:45 pm
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chloeysmomma
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September 27, 2010
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i was gonna buy this book but i didnt i wish i had of maybe i will next time i am in the store thanks for the tips

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