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Insecurity or am I just scared we aren't compatible?
April 22, 2005
3:03 pm
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artist 2
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I HATE coming back to these boards because I know something's really wrong.

Or maybe things are ok?

Here's the deal: There is this party every year in the town in which I live. Basically it started out as a family thing. Now, it's just this big old reason for people to get stoned and drunk. Women show up in g-strings, and sometimes completely naked. At least that's what I've seen in the photos.

I think the family thing still goes on (somewhere in the park). But, now there are drummers and boheims that hang out there, drum and dance all night, etc.

Well, my BF and I had the day planned tomorrow. He sends me an email an hour ago saying a friend had asked him if he was going to the party. He tells me he really wants to go. Then he says he can't remember what else we had planned.

I don't like to party and I don't like to get drunk and stoned. I know with this friend of his that would be happening.

Nonetheless, I was not invited to come. I say I was going to cook for him, and he says, "I guess we can still do that.... " doesnt' sound too excited about it. He DOES seem excited about the party.

He's been very good to me. He is a good man. what do I still have such fears and insecurities?

April 22, 2005
3:12 pm
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woundedspirit
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Nothing hurts like being forgotten. I think anyone wold feel bad that he forgot your plans. I would. Its nice to hear that your bf was atleast still willing to do dinner with you once he was reminded though. When my ex forgot and was reminded, he still stuck with his new plans. Which really made me feel unimportant. I would talk to him about your concerns about the party. It sounds like the kind of thing that probally has many different groups of people within the one event doing different things and its very possible your bf would not be a part of the rowdier party at all. Sounds like a decent guy who deserves that benefit of the doubt. What do you think?

April 22, 2005
3:33 pm
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artist 2
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yes.

April 22, 2005
3:57 pm
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CAMER
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i don't know Artist, going to a party with G strings and weed & booze...and him sounding more excited about this....and I would wonder why he did not ask YOU to go with him. And for him to forget you cooking for him. Sounds to me like he may be more of a free spritied partying type of guy.

I would ask him if he is into the getting stoned & drunk & then take it from there, you'll either like his answer or not.

April 22, 2005
4:47 pm
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artist 2
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Well it was all through email.. and it's hard to tell the inflections. I could be wrong about his level of excitement.

Also, I will have to say that he thought I might not have time to go with him, hence not inviting me. Something tells me though that he was looking forward to going alone.

I'm such a schumuck

April 22, 2005
5:12 pm
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woundedspirit
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Its easy to make assumptions. Especially over email. I get sooooo frusterated with email and text messages sometimes because it is just way to easy for things to be misunderstood. I definitely still think you should give him that benefit of the doubt and the chance to clarify first. And you know, he could be planning on inviting you and just waiting till he sees you in person to ask.

April 22, 2005
8:25 pm
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brendalee
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I would just call him up instead of doing the email thing. Ask him what he is going to be doing? Hell, just be honest and tell him that you have concerns about what you hear goes on at this party...i.e., g-strings and booze etc and listen to his response. Has he ever been to one of these type parties before? just my 2 cents. B

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