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In the Middle
September 10, 2004
12:14 pm
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bel
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September 29, 2010
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Wednesday night took daughter in law to hospital because she took an overdose of pills and was drinking. She wanted to kill herself, I was there with her for about two hours then went home and picked up son so he could be with her. Son also is depressed and has talked sucide. I just had surgery on my knee and was going through alot a couple of months ago and they were both very helpful to me when I needed them.

Son has been depressed for about two years and it comes and goes. He can be fine and then all of a sudden he is back down and takes long walks to lose himself. WE did take him to the doctor and he did get meds but now refuses to take them. He has not worked now going on three years, its as if he is afraid to leave the house for long periods of time. When his friend call or are here he seems fine and talks alot of BS...but when alone he is a scared person.

Daughter in law is tired of his not working, (so am I), tired of his yelling, fits, bouts of anger and his belittling her and the kids and myself. She also drinks and takes lots of pills trying to lose weight. I know they are not good for each other and I try to help them and talk to them but like the saying goes in one ear and out the other.

Son can be a very generous, kind and loving person but he seems to be afraid of letting that side of him to show.

Daughter in law is very high strung, yells when she talks and wont listen alot of the time. She favors one daughter over the other and its brought a wedge between them.

I am in the middle and really dont know what to do anymore. We all live together, son does not work so daughter in law and I share the cost of everything and are barely making it. If I leave she cannot pay the rent, if she leaves I cannot cover the rent, were in a dead end with nowhere to go.

September 10, 2004
12:20 pm
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kathygy
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You are not responsible for your daughter's ability to pay rent. She'll find a way. You need to focus on taking care of you and not about their problems. What is in your best interest? It does not sound like a good situation for you. I suggest moving out and letting them solve their own problems. Your son should really be working but he doesn't have to knowing that you are there taking care of things. You are enabling your son. Sounds like this calls for some tough love as hard as that may be.

September 10, 2004
12:45 pm
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bel
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Yes I have heard all of that as this has been going on for years. I just dont know why I wont let go, I know its hurting my son if Im always there to bail him out but something just has a hold on me that I cant get rid of. I always have alot of guilt if I just think of myself and if I were to pick up and leave I dont know if I could take it if they were left homeless and on the street. WE are all on the lease so we cannot break that and I cant just abandon my grandson, I know he has his mom and other grandparents but I feel the guilt when things dont work out.

September 10, 2004
12:52 pm
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bel
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Please disregard this post........

Thank you
Bel

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