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I'm tired and frustrated, no self esteem, trust is a must but don't know how. I need hope!!!
November 6, 2006
9:41 pm
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Friendma
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I've never been here before, I don't know how this works. I'm actually kinda scared.

November 6, 2006
9:44 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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There is NO better place to be when your life seems to be falling apart. There are several people here with a vast array of issues...People here care..and everyone here is trying to help themselves. It works well ina big group like this. Feel free to say ANYTHING you want. People will talk to you..Nice to meet you.

Mich

November 6, 2006
9:51 pm
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Friendma
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Thanks ScaredinMichigan. I appreciate what you said. Thanks for the reply, that was fast.

November 6, 2006
9:56 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Usually someone is around here...you can say anything you want. People here talk about infidelity, abuse of ALL kinds, you name it, it gets discussed here.

November 6, 2006
10:02 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I will say this as well, there is VERY LITTLE to be scared of here. People here are very caring...VERY. When you post something..you will get helpful and unhelpful information. The nice thing here is that you can get up tomorrow, and you never have to face any of us. We wouldn't know who you were if we crossed you on the street. It has been a place of peace, release, and a lot of things for me since i found this place in May. It has been my "safe place" if you will. It is the first place that I felt like people cared, truly understood, belieevd me, and made me feel validated...Look around..feel free to talk...Say whatever it is...Have NO fear..

November 6, 2006
10:08 pm
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Friendma
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Ever since I was a kid, I have been thru all kinds of abuse. It's really messed me up. I'm not askin for anyones pity, just explaining. I've been told I'm Co Dependent, I've been diagnosed with PTSD, Deppression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks. I have used self harm to cope, they finally have my meds lined out and I seem to be doing better, but still a mess. I ended up in ICU in April, almost killed myself by drug overdose and I am a cutter. I just want to be normal. I seem to of lost hope that I ever will be anything other than a freak of nature. Self Pity it's not just the facts. I am overwhelmed and just plain ole scared. I'm a mother of two and they live with their Dad, not because I don't love them and I have never mistreated them, just cause he was the better parent and I don't believe that a Mom is always the better parent. It has brought me great shame and I miss them terribly but they were and still are where they should be, it was what was best for them not me. People have judged me and assume I abandoned them or abused them and that is just not true. I love them with all my heart and miss them terribly. A part of me has died, there is no way to describe it.........

November 6, 2006
10:11 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Will you do me a favor that will take you a few minutes?

November 6, 2006
10:13 pm
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lovinglife
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((((Friendma)))) welcome.

November 6, 2006
10:26 pm
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Friendma
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ScaredinMichigan, thanks for replying to me. I appreciate it and you have helped me to feel comftorable to say what was on my heart.

November 6, 2006
10:28 pm
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Friendma
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ScaredinMichigan, Let me know what you mean and I will do my best.

November 6, 2006
10:30 pm
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Friendma
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lovinglife, thanks for the welcome. I appreciate it.

November 6, 2006
10:32 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Go to the "Afghan Sisters...Looking Forward..." thread and read it from start to finish. At least 5 or six of us in there have been sexually abused, and you will see that cutting is not just you. It is something that a lot of us deal with. I never did until this week. But if you read that, you will see what I am talking about. Please realize that the group of us involved in that thread are very close, and learning to be affectionate. Please as you read it, don't think of us as sick...we are all desperate for love, and we have found that in each other...I think that is the thread...if not I will let you know in just a minute...give me a minte to check and I will post back to you...cause I am thinking that it was the thread that we had before that. Just a minute...

November 6, 2006
10:39 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Read the afghan sisters Sisters live on thread....FIRST. then the other one would make some sense...BUT, ignore the couple of arguments that took place there...

November 6, 2006
10:55 pm
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Friendma
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ScaredinMichigan, I have browsed the threads and I will have to read a lil at a time, it's a lot to take in. The people on the threads seem lovely. I can relate to alot of what I read. I really appreciate you and your ability to reach out to me, it means more to me than you know. I already feel some hope just knowing that you understand my cutting and such. Please stay in touch and if ya'll would ever be comftorable to have an extra in ya'lls thread let me know.

November 6, 2006
10:58 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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You can join any thread at any time...Loving Life and many of us are always on those threads a lot, and a new person is ALWAYS welcome...on almost any thread...

November 6, 2006
11:05 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Take your time Friendma...Please. But know that you are NOT alone in this life. You will find that in a hurry. People here truly care. If you ever need someone and you want to talk to me, start a thread with ym name in it...I am around almost daily..I am always willing to listen..to whatever it is, and know that I care. I have been through some of what you have and I KNOW your pain. I do hope that I have not overwhelmed you on your first journey here, just know that I am here for you, and that i care...

November 7, 2006
3:31 pm
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Anonymous
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Welcome Friendma! I'm new here too, but already I have seen that there are many people here who genuinely care. Many who suffer the same low self-esteem issues and pain of life that I have felt so alone in. This is the first time in my life that I realize, it's not just me and I'm not the only one with these thoughts and feelings. I always feel so misunderstood. Here you will find love and understanding. At least from what I can tell. Glad you are with us.

November 7, 2006
5:49 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Friend,

Just wanted to say hi. I posted to you on the other thread, but I just was checking to see how your day was. Hopefully good. Listen, thanks again for sticking around last night. It meant a lot.

Mich

November 8, 2006
12:50 pm
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revelation
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Friendma, there is another thread on low self-esteem, if you see this post, please take a look at it...lots of great tips and tricks and book reviews on it!

What you have been through sounds just awful...but this is a really big step towards helping yourself to heal and I wish you great great things here at this forum, somedays I wonder if its the internets secret little fount of all goodness!

November 8, 2006
1:23 pm
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atalose
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Hi Friendma, welcome, I am glad you found us.
You are safe here, take your time to become comfortable and share what you want when you want. No one here will judge you, please take your time to get comfortable with us.

Once you choose hope, anything's possible.

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

November 8, 2006
1:56 pm
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cammyjo
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Hi Friendma

I'm new here too. I come here often, just to feel like I am not alone, that there are friends here. On the rare occasions that I am not having a bad day, I come here just to read, and see if I can reach out to someone and make a difference in their life, days like today, I seek comfort, and support, or even focus on someone else who may have a harder road, and can find some appreciation, and gratitude in my own life. It is a safe place. I don't believe I would be stepping out on a limb to say, "there is no one here that is going to hurt you"

In the title of your post, I was drawn to the word "trust", do you believe to have a trust issue with yourself, or with others?

Hugs to you CJ

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