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Im the biggest fool of all !
October 6, 2001
10:40 am
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diamondcutr
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Well i took everyones advice and i just sat back and waited. I didnt call her she finally called me and wanted to see me. She told me that she loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. It made me feel wonderful.She actually made me feel that she really wanted to make a family with me.Then yesterday she told me that her soon to be ex (seperated for a year) called and said that if she wanted to she could go with him and their 2 year old son to a crafts fair and spend the day with them that he wanted to discuss some things with her about their future. I know that she still loves him,, she has told me that .But she has told me the same as well. Confussing ,huh? you should be in my shoes right now.
So she wanted to go out last night ,, so being the fool that i am, i took her to dinner and a show. All night long all she could do is tell me how much she loved me. Of course she was drinking and got a little drunk,, well alot. I took her home and made her comfortable and watched her pass out. I woke her up this morning and told her how much i loved her and that i have said everything that i could say about her date today. I told her that i hoed that todays events would either make it or break it.Its been a year since they split,, i told her that it was time for her to sh*t or get off the pot that what was happening wasnt fair to her or me.
We are suppose to have a date tonight to go to Memphis tigers football game and she said that she would call me when she got home.
So here I am sitting at home waiting for the out come. For two days now i have felt like a prisoner on death row waiting for a stay of execution.Last night was one of the most wonderful meals i have ever had. Was this my last meal with her? Is this not the most pathetic story you have ever heard??
well hopefully the time will go quickly and it will all be over soon.
There is so much more to this story,, Any questions? any suggestions? help me pass the time till the executioner comes for me !

October 6, 2001
11:20 am
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pill
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I'm glad that you gave her an ultimatum... can you stick by it? She's really lucky that you're still waiting for her to make up her mind. I'm sorry you dont' have completel committment form her yet. It may take her some time to figure herself out. I'd be the guy who doesn't seek her, just to give her space to think. What do you think?

How was the game?

October 6, 2001
12:54 pm
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diamondcutr
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Well it really made me sick that i had to give her an ultimatum. I feel like the second string quarterback waiting to see if im going to get in the game. I feel like im her second choice. Its driving me crazy !
The game isnt till tonight. she said that we were going.But i wonder.
How am i going to react if she says that they are going to try and make it work again? I know its coming but i dont know how im going to react. I love her with every inch of my soul and i know she loves me but i wonder if she loves him more.

October 6, 2001
4:34 pm
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diamondcutr
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well its almost 4 and no word from her yet,, the tail-gate party that she wanted to go to starts at 5. should i call her or just wait for her to call me? If she calls after the time that she said she was going to call,, what should i do? What if she never calls??

October 6, 2001
4:47 pm
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kaseey
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I THOUGHT THAT ONLY GIRLS GO THROUGH THIS. I HATE TO SAY THIS BUT YOUR BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER. YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO WILL GIVE YOU 110% OF THEMSELVES. SHE IS NOT GIVING YOU THAT
AND IT LOOKS LIKE SHE WONT BE ANYTIME
SOON. SOMETIMES IT TAKES A STRONG PERSON TO WALK AWAY. BE STRONG CUT YOUR LOSES AND REMEMBER THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT. IF SHE HAS A CHILD WITH HIM HE WILL 4EVER BE INVOLVED WITH HER. I DONT THINK YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THAT. ITS EASIER TO JUST HANG AROUND AND SET YOURSELF UP TO GET HURT BY HER. ITS HARDER TO WALK AWAY. UNFORTUNATLY THE RIGHT THING IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST TO DO.
GOOD LUCK, BE STRONG.

October 7, 2001
2:07 pm
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diamondcutr
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well Sje finally called me yesterday around 4pm. She told me that her and her ex had talked and they had both decided that their marriage would never work. So she asked me to come over so we could go to the game. So about 30 minutes later im 2 blocks away from her house she calls me and ask where i am. I tell her im just around the corner.She said that i needed to turn around and go back home . That she was going to call her ex and tell him that she wanted him to go with her. This really confussed/upset me.I kept her on the phone till i got to her house.When i went inside she told me that she wanted him to go and not me,,,its like she was under some sort of spell . I asked her why? She said that she loved him and could never love me the way she loved him. She had spent the whole night before telling me that she loved me. She told me that it was a lie, that she had been lying to me and to herself. She said "I have to call him" she sounded so desperate. " I have to catch him before he gets home ,I want him to tell him i want him to go to the game with me". They had been together all day. She said that he told her that i didnt love her. And it seems that he believed her. I dont understand how a guy can treat a woman so horriblly and still have so much control over her. This has totally distroyed all of the plans that we had talked about. I havent been able to eat or sleep. I want to be a "real man" and walk away from this.But i cant. I love her.I love her children. I could feel her love for me.What the hell happened? I have no desire for anything now.I have lost my will.I dont want to do anything. Im really confussed.Im so hurt.All i can think about is how much I love her and how it seems that my life is over now. Ive waited so long to give my heart to someoneand now the one that i have given it to has ripped it up and thrown it back in my face. I miss her so much............

October 7, 2001
9:31 pm
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shades
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September 29, 2010
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Maybe you just weren't meant to be. As time passes and it might take a while you will realise things about her and the relationship that weren't all that great. It seems to me that you are putting her on a pedestal when she shouldn't be. No one should have that much power over you. You were you before you met her right? Good luck and try to move on the longer you sit and think about her the more obsessed you will become

October 8, 2001
1:19 pm
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Molly
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You said I don't see how a guy can treat her that bad, and still have such controll over her. This is a blessing in disguise, this is not a healthy person to be attracted to, and thus your confusion. cut it loose, and thank your lucky stars. You deserve some one who has some integrity, a lot of integrity is alot to ask for, and she is not worthy of you.

October 9, 2001
4:20 pm
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1dvsgirl
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September 24, 2010
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It seems odd to me that you can't understand the spell she's under - a guy who treats her horribly and she stays. How about a girl who has a man that she claims to love and lets into her children's lives only to string him along with hopes of the future while she spends time and energy on her almost over marriage. All the while this sweet guy is so in love with her that he just can't leave no matter how bad it feels or how much it hurts. It seems to me your both under the same spell honey. This relationship spells TROUBLE louder and louder with every thread you leave. It hurts to walk away from something that you really love, but you NEED to do it soon. She's not ready, she won't come out and say that to you but her actions are speaking volumes. You're not a fool, you just believed in what you felt and she wasn't straightforward about where she was emotionally, maybe she doesn't know. Take care of yourself and your heart and break the spell!

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