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Im stuck in a rut, need some advice please help!
November 7, 2007
5:34 am
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Jess for TLC
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Im stuck in a rut, i feel so lost and confused and don't know what to do or where to go with this and i really need some inside of this please, any help will do.

I was with my ex fiance for 2 1/2 years and we were living together with his family since we are both 20. we were going to get a house together go on holidays and he was working
with my family business and sort of is. his family was my family and vis verser. we were practically married.

Ive had the most amazing time together we've done so much and been though so much together and the one thing is my paranoia problem. i don't want to loose im and i was pushing him away i wouldn't let him go out with mates and if so i had to be there it would cause so many problems the thing is i was strangling him and what i feared (losing him) i got because of my paranoia problem.

Its been 4 months and 2 weeks since we have broken up and im still strongly in love with this man and i want to be with him, we have gone through so much and the thing is i know he feels something there too the thing is he is confused in who he is and what he wants and if he wants go through all the pain again. we have giving each other space and we both cant help wondering if somone is with someone else so we call. we both are using other ppl to get what we are missing but we are hurting the people involved cause we dont feel the same way.

On the weekend we really tried to made the friends thing work but we cant we end up getting sexual with each other and its hard not to. the thing is we both dont want anyone to have each other, i want him but he doesn't know if he wants me back and do go though it all again.

I have changed i have a life now i have friends and going out all the time and i have a career and getting a bit of help for my paranoia problem. i feel so lost in what to do he says he needs time to think what i want but he doesn't know how long or if he is going to come back to me or not.

The thing is i have tired to move on and i cant i feel like im cheating on him and doesn't feel right. my friends are suffering and im suffering i feel like i have lost a family as well as him. im struggling.

please someone help me and put me on the right direction i don't what to loose what we had.

someone help

November 7, 2007
6:48 am
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CAMER
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hi Jess, well this break is good for you both, to learn more and help with yourself too.

Maybe if you go out as "friends" more he will see how much you have changed, maybe even have your friends and his friends go out all as a group too.

and it is so important to let your bf have his friends and friends time, Just as you should Jess. Its good to have a lil' balance in the relationship, with friends, work, hobbies, etc.

You are doing the right steps, its just now up to your bf if he wants to patch things up right now, or wait a lil' longer, and just be patient Jess, if he really does care and love you he won't stray.

((((camer))))

November 7, 2007
9:06 am
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Codi202
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What happened to working things out while together?

I don't understand "moving on" and still wanting each other. Or one wanting and the other "not sure"?

I bet you can find a book about this sort of thing.

He is not affraid of losing you, is he. I read something somewhere about how the "not sure" changed to "sure" when it was too late and the other party had finally moved on completely and OOPS the other party realized what they wanted.

Just another opinion here.

November 7, 2007
9:06 am
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Codi202
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What happened to working things out while together?

I don't understand "moving on" and still wanting each other. Or one wanting and the other "not sure"?

I bet you can find a book about this sort of thing.

He is not affraid of losing you, is he. I read something somewhere about how the "not sure" changed to "sure" when it was too late and the other party had finally moved on completely and OOPS the other party realized what they wanted -- too late, of course.

Just another opinion here.

November 7, 2007
9:23 am
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Codi202
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What happened to working things out while together?

I don't understand "moving on" and still wanting each other. Or one wanting and the other "not sure"?

I bet you can find a book about this sort of thing. I am positive that I read about such things long ago.

He is not affraid of losing you, is he. I read something somewhere about how the "not sure" changed to "sure" when it was too late and the other party had finally moved on completely and OOPS the other party realized what they wanted -- too late, of course.

Just another opinion here.

November 8, 2007
7:32 am
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Jess for TLC
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Hey camer, i think atm its best for the break for both f us to work out self out but the thing is i get this and i give him i miss him so much i want to talk or see him. Also thats another reason im letting him be with his mates and also im making new ones too and going out im always out and im learning so much too which is a good thing.The thing is how do i keep strong and not give in??

With working things out codi he has tried so many time to compromise with me and at the time it was damed if ya do damed if ya dont with me he couldn't get anything right so he snapped and i dont blame with from me loosing out of it now i see it and understand it but its too late.

What i meant by moving on he still wants me to be with the the what he talk the way he wants to know things and the you can tell when we are together. but he doesn't want to get involved doesn't know if he can get involved in the whole thing again he still thinks im the way i was before.

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