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i'm so lonely i want to cry
May 20, 2006
10:01 pm
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In fact, I do cry all the time. It's been a while since I began posting here, I feel like a broken record. It just hurts so much.

-ella

May 20, 2006
10:11 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Im so sorry sweetheart. Have you tired keeping a journal of what your feeling? and are you seeing an counsler? they can often help. ((((Mzrella))) I have been there sweetheart. Just know that we are here for you.

May 20, 2006
10:13 pm
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Shaney
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I'm lonely right now too, and a little pissed. But I'm sitting here with a glass of wine, looking for company :o)

May 20, 2006
10:18 pm
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Rasputin
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(((Ella)))

Oh honey, how THRILLED I AM TO SEE YOU AGAIN. It's been a while. If you need to talk, I am available.

(((Hugs & Prayers)))

May 20, 2006
10:37 pm
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Hi ladies.

I miss you. It would be so nice if we were all sitting in a cafe chatting. I can't stand this anymore.

May 20, 2006
10:40 pm
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Rasputin
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Well Ella, let's pretend we are in a cafe.

It's my treat ladies. I would love to have hot cap with cinnamon and flakes of chocolate. It's a bit cool here tonite.

Ladies, please order to your heart's content!

May 20, 2006
10:42 pm
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Shaney
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I would die for the company right now. Imagine sitting around, having a great meal, laughing... with lots of interesting conversation. We could all pitch in for a good bottle of wine (if you drink), and celebrate being women. Then we could head on over to a coffee shop and nickname everyone in the place while trying to figure out their stories. I love doing that.

May 20, 2006
11:27 pm
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on my way
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one day, we will figure out how to do that without going against the rules!

May 20, 2006
11:36 pm
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Matteo
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on my way,

Lol! Are you a mind reader or something?

May 20, 2006
11:37 pm
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Matteo
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((((ella))))

I am so glad to see you here again.

May 20, 2006
11:46 pm
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Hugs to all.

Recently I made and lost a cyber "Friend." Being friends with men is probably not worth it. It is my suspicion that he lied and that he really did have a girlfriend, that she found out he calls me and he he quit. It started as phone sex, but then just friends. I miss the friend part. Guess he didn't. NOw I have no one to talk to. My friends are gone.

May 20, 2006
11:51 pm
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Shaney
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When one door closes, another opens, ella. I'm sure you can remember feeling this same way before, and then someone comes into your life, via the internet, or whatever. Someone else will be along soon, I know they will. And who knows, this next friend may change your life! Hang in there.

May 21, 2006
12:12 am
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on my way
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ella,
i remember that the healthier i became from healing from all of the crud and baggage, that i spent some time alone. for awhile i wondered if it was worth it...bt yep! it is. hang in there...maybe you are getting healthier, are in a lull period, and may be making new friends real soon!

May 21, 2006
12:17 am
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Cooper
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The cafe idea sounds wonderful. To just be able to sit and chat and maybe cry together then see what we could muster up to laugh about. I miss laughing so much. It seems like it has been so long since I have done that. While I do have wonderful friends at work it seems like they are all busy afterwards. Funny how we get wrapped up in our daily lives. I don't know about you guys but I have been pretending that everything is so perfect at home that I don't know what is real anymore.
But a good cafe chat would be really nice. Maybe overlooking the ocean, watching the sunset. Having a glass of wine.
Cheers, ladies!

May 21, 2006
1:54 am
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Soulsister
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Cheers...clink...sip sip....aahhh....the ocean look sooo beautiful.... 🙂 How are you all??

Soul

May 21, 2006
7:26 am
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Rasputin
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Oh now that we spent the whole nite at the cafter, watched the sunrise. It is absolutely irresistible.

My cap was so tasy with some chocolate cake.

How was every one's drink?

May 21, 2006
7:32 am
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Rasputin
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Ella - I have been going thru rough trying time lately at work, see my thread "Is it professional to be your boss' girlfriend." I am sure the sune will shine soon as it does today even tho I am in pain right now.

After every cloud, there is some sunshine. Don't take it too seriously. And remember honey, if someone/something is meant to us, it will come to pass and vice versa. I miss my friend so much and I keep reminding myself all the time that if he does not contact me that means he does NOT love me. I honestly do not want to spend the rest of my life with selfish, cold loveless man.

Ella, I hope you feel better today sweetie! You are a kind lady and you deserve all the best!

May 21, 2006
7:49 am
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justlooking
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Hi Ella,

hope you feel better too.

Cooper, I so understand what you are talking about sometimes it's just too difficult to explain to everyone what is wrong and I don't want people to feel sorry for me or to think, well she has baggage. I just want people to understand but treat me like everybody else. I may be sensitive but I'm not made out of china.

Coffee for me please, it's lunchtime here.

May 21, 2006
11:18 am
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readyforachange
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(((ella))) wonderful party you've started here...

it's lunchtime here, too, but I think I'll have a coffee with Bailey's and some of that chocolate cake Ras was raving about...

chin up, ella, you will meet someone...just give yourself time!

May 21, 2006
1:00 pm
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Anonymous
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hi guys...

there are so many wonderful people here at this site...why can't we find eachother in real life???

perhaps we are so blind to the beauty of the people around us - blind because our problems are so overwhelming and we are so self concious of them and worried they will bother other people.

i was in the local small town pharmacy yesterday and the clerk was telling a customer about her recent medical issues, and I got part of the convo, and before you know it, a half hour had passed.....and the other customer genuinely cared about what we had to say.

one of the great things about being part of small town community.

I really should head back to church and get the support i need.

anyway, it would be lovely if we all had labels that described the good people we are, so that strangers in a crowd could find us and we could find other good people...and all sit and make friends....instead of having to weed thru the muck and mire to find the good ones hiding in the background.

you all are so lovely and thoughtful and caring....and I value the "friendships" I have made here....the support....and the wisdom....it really is a shame there can't be any personal contact...tho I understand why...I know that I have made a valuable friend thru this board....found a way.....and well, so far it's been a blessing.....right, A????

anyway, where there is a will, there is a way....too bad there isn't a moderated chat room or instant messenger feature on here...would love to IM you guys like I do on my aol IM - which I live for...

much hugs and comfort to you all.

ali
9/7/71
who is counting down the days until her birthday.....maybe we can have a cyber party for me and lolli and whoever else is a september baby.

hell, we should have a cyber party EVERY month...for everyone.

May 21, 2006
5:02 pm
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Anonymous
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Ella, I understand that lonely feeling but trust me, it does get better.

I haven't been on here in a long time but I know that when I was on here, I truly appreciated your wisdom.

May 21, 2006
10:39 pm
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Rasputin
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(((Ella)))

How you doing sweetie??? Still crying???

Please update us!

May 23, 2006
8:57 pm
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Rasputin
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Bump this to (((Ella)))

May 23, 2006
9:07 pm
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danger
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Cheeeerrrrrssss! everyone how r we all feeling today..just poured myself a nice one and ready to watch the sunset..it gets better by the minute...

May 23, 2006
9:41 pm
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Ella I hope your crying spell is over because I want to take the baton from you and let the flood gates open. Right now life stinks but it will get better

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