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I'm so embarrassed.....
March 3, 2006
3:50 pm
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FreeMe67
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I'm miserable and now I know why! My husband and I are currently separated. He's very needy & even more jealous. Stress has physically & mentally tore me down. About a week ago, I had a conversation with someone who only knew of me through a mutual friend. I told her about my situation and she directed me to a website...www.codependency.org. As I began reading it, it was like my whole life right there in front of me. I thought we were talking about my husband being codependent...NOT ME!!! At first I was furious at her for thinking I was "codependent". I do everything I'm supposed to for everyone! How could I be codependent?!! Then I was humiliated to think that someone saw me as something other than a nice and caring person. The more I read, the more I wanted to know, which led me to this website. I was so relieved to read some of these threads. For my sanity, I've got to turn myself around and don't know where to start. I'm not much for talking about my problems and have trouble (nearly impossible) expressing my feelings. I don't like the idea of face-to-face counseling. Does anyone know of a good book or video on the subject?

March 3, 2006
4:52 pm
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butterflybaby
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Codependent No More is a really good book.....

Good Luck!!

March 3, 2006
6:46 pm
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gingerleigh
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Just curious... what is it about face to face counseling that you don't like?

March 3, 2006
6:52 pm
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Lt4Others
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FM,

You have no reason to be embarassed. It wasn't until last fall, when a counselor confronted me, that I was able to accept I was codependent. Until that time, I denied it. Things like that happen to other people, not me. Now I know differently. Now I accept that aspect of who I am. Now I can begin recovery.

butterflybaby was absolutely right. "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie is a great book. I've read it, as have many others who frequent this site. There are other books, but that's a good start.

Please don't try and take a short cut through recovery. Care enough about yourself to take the time to do it right. Books and tapes are nice suppliments to professional counseling, but they are certainly no substitue. Do you have a CODA (i.e. Codependents Anonymous) chapter in your area? Check out their web site at http://www.coda.org .

Before I forget, welcome to the site. I look forward to learning more about you, your experiences, and your outlook.

Be well......Lt

March 4, 2006
4:18 am
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SassyAlex
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Let me tell you how I found out I'm codependent. My addict ex at the time called me from rehab and told me his counselor said I sounded codependent. At first I was like, hey, don't call me that, I was just trying to help you. But the more I searched and read, the more it all sounded too, tooooo familiar. And I found this site, which is a wonderful thing. My therapist doesn't like the label codependency, but through this label my addict ex gave me, I was able to find this support here, and I am thankful for that.

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