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I'm scared, totally.
May 5, 2005
12:24 am
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Anonymous
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Hi all,

I sit here knowing I need/have to make a 4 hr trip, to be checked for the damn CA! I feel very fearful..I don't think I will go, rather I will make a new Appt and all will be ok...I know, I just do not want to hear it.. I'm scared to death to make the trip (Grr gas prices) my anxiety is kicking in, and I have no idea what my Dr will say..

Maybe I'll gather the strength, to go but doubtful...

goodnight all, I have demons to deal with.. And I am ok with those.

Hugs,
Sunny

May 5, 2005
12:38 am
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Sunnygrl-

Are you saying you are considering postponing an important exam? Will the delay make a big difference? Please don't wait too long. Won't it make it even harder for you to go when the time finally comes...? you know that's the nature of worrying.

I hope things go well and pray for your health.

love,
ella

May 5, 2005
12:40 am
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Randomwomen2
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may i ask why you afrid to go? are you sick or something or is it just a bad experience?

May 5, 2005
12:48 am
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Anonymous
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ella,

I have made my decision... Thank you for answering,My Dr will understand... Yes, I'm not going because I am afraid. Fear is also a powerful thing...I will not wait too long...I just dread the prognosis.. I'm hopeful, but one never knows...

(((ella)))

Sunny

May 5, 2005
12:51 am
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Anonymous
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RW..
It is fear...

May 5, 2005
1:09 am
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mamacinnamon
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Sunnygrl:

Remember... tho you walk thru the valley of death, you will fear no evil.

If that is promised to you then take a chance and step out and face your fear. I know you can do it. Practice your deep breathing, and put one foot in front of the other.

You can do it.

May 5, 2005
1:19 am
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((((Sunnygrl))))

good night... i'm sure you a lot more brave than you realize.

-ella

May 5, 2005
2:50 am
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bonita1
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Sunnygirl,

Take somebody with you for moral support! No need to face whatever by yourself. If you have a best girl-friend, ask her to go....or if you get along with your mom (if she is around?) ask her to accompany you. A burden shared is half a burden.

Remember, hon, our higher power does not give you a spirit of fear.

luv,

bonita šŸ˜€

(((((((((angel hugs for sunny)))))))))

May 5, 2005
2:21 pm
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kathygy
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What is CA? The earlier something is diagnosed the better. You will be fine no matterwhat.

May 5, 2005
11:18 pm
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Ca is Cancer..Breast, which I have been dealing with for a long time. Thank you all for the wonderful support, I did not go today. I'm having panic attacks so bad it is going to cripple me once again...I cannot do that, I cannot allow it...

It's like a prison, where you are never going to see daylight.. At this point in time I do not know where this fear is coming from, all I know is that it has placed itself on my doorstep again...

Sunny

May 6, 2005
11:17 am
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sdesigns
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Hi Sunny: I understand how scared you must be. Please don't put it off for too long. Just the anxiety of delaying this can cause problems. Its entirely possible the news would be good. Any chance of getting a doctor closer to you? That may make the task more manageable, not having to deal w/ a 4 hour drive. Thinking of you. SD

May 6, 2005
3:45 pm
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Anonymous
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Hi Bonita,

Thank you, that was very sweet and I appreciate it. My Mom is in California,she had cervical cancer so is still being treated as well. I have friends here and they were more than willing to go with me. I just couldn't do it this time but I'll reschedule and hopefully get a clean bill of health this time. I should be excited but with this panic kicking in, hard to do!

Hugs,

Sunny

May 6, 2005
4:31 pm
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Hi (((SD)))

Yes, it certainly does not help that I'm that far away but I have to stick with this Dr because she knows my case and well, the hospital, etc...as well. I could go to OKC, but I'm hoping this is the end of it. I'm going to reschedule and psyche myself up, maybe increase my anti-anxiety med a bit to ward off these out of the blue panic attacks.I can't take Xanax, it drives me nuts and I take Klonopin (longer lasting but slower) daily. I think everything has just caught up with me honestly, ya know?
That trip to Hawaii is sounding better all the time!

Thank you, for being you.

Hugs,

Sunny

May 6, 2005
6:16 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Sunny; Still working on the travel plans. I finally told my friend today that I am doing India by myself - she has been way too difficult in planning all of this. Even the travel agent called me today totally frustrated. It will cost more but this has been causing me too much anxiety for something that is supposed to be fun. I think I'll be doing Hawaii alone too- quieter and more peaceful. And thats what I need! Wish you could come with me. SD

Hang in there and soon you can put this behind you, hopefully. When I took Xanax I called them my happy pills because they made me absolutely goofy.

May 6, 2005
9:38 pm
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Anonymous
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Aww...So sorry to hear that something that should be relatively easy has turned out this way. I can only imagine what that trip would have entailed (shaking head) You will have a wonderful time in India!! When you get the #'s for Hawaii, let me know, I'm saving!! Quiet and peace is just what I need šŸ˜‰ I'm hanging, oh yes the Xanax? I climb the walls!!!

Hugs,

Sunny

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