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I'm out of the abuse....but it still hurts
October 2, 2003
10:26 pm
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leesie
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September 30, 2010
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Hi....I'm new here, so bare with me. I've been down the road several times. Each time is worse than the last. This time, after 3-1/2 years, it's over. I caught him with another woman. He denied it at first...course he would. But when I said I would ask her, he confessed. Sad part? He said he did it so we could end forever, knowing that this act would prevent me from allowing him to get close to me again, yet telling me I could call him anytime. Just the string to hang myself with, huh? It all hurts...even tho I know it's been "over" for a long time. I wanted out soooo bad, and now that I am out, it hurts like hell. I know I'm co-dependent. Hated to admit it, but it's a fact. Just want to "get well" now. But the roller-coaster is a killer. It's weird...hurt one moment, and realize the need to be out of it the next. He was an extreme manipulator. I see that now. But I can also see that I "saw" it all along. So what the heck was I thinking?

October 3, 2003
10:08 am
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mj
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September 29, 2010
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Hi leesie,
I've been there, done this myself. Only you know why you did it. I accept abusive partners cause I just want to be loved....and now am finding that in order for me to be loved...it starts with self love.

When we love our self, we don't allow others to mistreat us. In my case, I thought abuse was normal. But now I have learned it is not.

I am glad that you are out of this abusive relationship. I understand the emotional roller coaster. Just reach out..like you did here, and find support from us, your friends and family, and try to heal the wounds. I find they are deeper than we really knew. Mine stem from childhood.

Best Wishes to you in your journey of self discovery.

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