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I'm only with him because I'm afraid of being alone.
September 1, 2005
11:35 pm
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cindyboowho
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See Camer, I told you how smart you were on your other thread.

Baby steps... Do what's right for me, don't worry about him so much...
I think I'll write these down to help keep me focused.

Thanks...

September 2, 2005
8:18 am
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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hi Cindy and i want to thank you for the help you gave me on my other thread "lending money"....and its funny, cuz we are both smart gals, sometimes i think with codependency, we have a tendency to be in denial alot, and afraid of the future and the "unknown". I guess focusing on
the "I" part of ourselves, taking things in baby steps & one day at a time....it cannot be that bad.

I wish you luck & support in all that you are going thru now with your bf.

Keep coming back & posting, i am here for you girl!!!!

((camer)))

September 3, 2005
6:55 pm
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cindyboowho
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Hi all!

Well, me and the bf talked. I mean really talked... I've been voicing my feelings to you all but, I never voiced them to him. I told him exactly what I need from this "relationship". I told him I was not in love with him anymore, that I felt no passion. etc.. I told him about the job/money issue and that I feel he has taken advantage of me. Well, I put it all out on the table.

He told me he loved me and had been feeling exactly the same way. But, that he does love me and would like to try. I said that how can you put something back into a relationship when it has died? That at the core I didn't think we were right for each other... He wants to try. He is a good guy and I loved him very much in the past...I think it's worth a shot.. So, baby steps... But, if it's not right for me, I will speak up. I already told him I was ready to give up and go our own ways... So, for now I'll sit back and see what changes...and in the meantime, I'll work on me! That way, when I'm ready, If the relationship still isn't all I need, I'll be able to send him on his way and know I'll be okay....

September 3, 2005
7:47 pm
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CAMER
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baby steps rule (((cindy)))!!! see take your time, as your are doing, and maybe if things change, you could fall in love just like when you met him in the begginning stages of dating.....or, if nothing changes, you will have the strength and courage to walk away and know you were honest with him and yourself.

Keep me posted!!!

love, camer

September 3, 2005
11:09 pm
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chcolatte
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I'm new here and was very touched by your words. I was in a marriage which didn't last long although it seemed to be a lifetime. I too stayed because I didn't want to be alone{despite all of the abuse mental and physical} but all the while I was losing myself until I was no more and only a shell of my former self. No more boldness and confidence only passiveness,shame,and shyness. When I looked in the mirror a stanger I beheld.When I fianally got the nerve to leave I found myself looking down the barrel of my husband's 380. One bullet tore through my face and three through my stomach although you would never know it if i didn't tell it.(God kept me here for a purpose.)I've said all of that to say this we must loves ourselves before we can love another.

September 4, 2005
1:18 am
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cindyboowho
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September 27, 2010
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Chocolate...

Your story moved me. Even though I had no part in it, as a caring human being, I would like to say I am truly sorry for the pain you have endured... Yes, you are here for a reason!

I have been in abusive relationships myself and understand. You feel like you don't deserve better or that atleast you're not alone.

My wish for you is that you take this 2nd chance you have been given and look deep within yourself. Know that you DO deserve better and being alone is better than being miserable, being beaten, being talked down to and definetley better than being dead!

Camer...

Thanks again girl. The relationship feels really weird but, if he does all the things he said he would then he's a keeper. If he doesn't... well then atleast we tried and it just wasn't meant to be.

I'm going to your thread about lending money to your bf now...

September 4, 2005
10:30 am
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katarina
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September 24, 2010
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I know what you mean. 'we give up ourselves. My relationship has no passion! I am going to learn to do things on my own. Today I'm going to barnes and noble and get a cup of coffee and just be alone. Let's take care of ourselves today!

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