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im in love with my cousin who is 10 and im 24 she loves me to
April 3, 2001
4:52 pm
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Hamad
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she is 10 and very serious and more mature then her age she loves me now i love her madly
the age difference is 14 years i dont want to lose her what can i do i want to be with her forever im 24 yrs old now she says that i will change and i say she will she says no
her sister knows about this and says that she wont change because she is really deep about me the girl is my cousin her sis is 16yrs old we are muslim.
im going out of my mind i get deppressed and down cry because i have to wait for 9 to 10 yeras for her and dont know if she will ever be mine or if her parents will agree to our marriage i know everything about the girl more then her parents there is a lot to this but i just want to know that if im crazy or can we be togther im going mad please help

April 3, 2001
6:34 pm
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Ladeska
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Huh?

April 4, 2001
6:13 pm
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Molly
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I don't know where you are now, but being muslim, and perhaps with cultural influences, perhaps your parents could arrange the marriage for you, but other wise hands off. This is not acceptable in most western cultures, and you will be viewed as a child molester,so stop it. Do the right thing if both your parents are of foreign culture, ask for her hand, and wait. If you think that you can force this issue, and take her to your country of origin, you may be sorry later, when she tries to run away. Seek support from some one who understands your culture.But then again, why don't you get it that she really is a child by any standards today, and stop encouraging her, get controll of your feelings, and seek out a wife in similar age, before problems arise.

April 5, 2001
9:20 pm
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needadvice
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Well God knows I'm no one that can give advice to someone,,,Except you. Because this is so sick. She's 10 yrs old guy. What is wrong with you?? She's not madly in love with you...She's 10. A 10 yr olds can have a crush, She has no ideal what love is. Your the adult here and you know she is a child. You should NEVER have feelings at 24 for a 10 yr old, You should relize if you do. You need help. How can you have these kind of fellings for a little girl? You need to tell her You love her to, But you two are cousin's and she is a child and your a grown man. That she should be a kid and she'll find a man when she is old enough to think about such things. Do the right thing here and help her. Don't take advantage of her,, help her. She is looking to you for the ansewers of why she feels this way. Tell her it's a little girls crush,,, That's normal. Your feeling are NOT... God have mercy on you for looking at a 10 yr old like that and search for some help for this problem you have. And it is a problem. I don't care were you come from, That is wrong. Let her be a little girl, like god wanted her to be. Help her see that, and find help for yourself. O.K??

April 5, 2001
9:25 pm
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Molly
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Don't forget not all cultures are the same. Often in foreign cultures, the wife is chosen premenstural, to raise to serve the husband, by his mother. I am not at all supporting child abuse, but aware of different ways.

April 5, 2001
11:45 pm
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grass
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Wow! i agree with most of what needadvice says. Western society does not look kindly upon 24 year olds falling for 10 yr old, let alone a cousin. We see that as potential child molestation and insest. I also agree with Molly that cultures are different. However, I think that the child is confused and so are you, very much so. I really hope that this does not introduce damaging psychological problems for the child in the future, it probably already has.
Because you say that you don't think that her parents will agree to marriage, suggests to me that it is not acceptable. Also the fact that you are writing here, inplies that you are aware that it is wrong to have such feelings for a child. I don't think that you are crazy, but you do need help before you confuse the child even more. I hear danger in your writing (you state that you are going mad)I urge you to seek professional help!

April 5, 2001
11:46 pm
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needadvice
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Molly, Hi. You may be right that in some?? Cultures the wife is chosen at very early ages, To be given at the right age,, Not 10 yrs old.. But this man, that is 24 yrs old,, has sexually feelings NOW. How is that right? He said he dosn't think ethier of there familys would approve of it. Of course not, There blood relatives,For one. Even in those cultures, That is NOT allowed. And he thinks she is muture at 10. I hope he does listen to you and tells his and her parents the way he feels,,,SO they can keep him away from her. Please don't incourge him that this may be right in his culture. It's a sin against god no matter where your from. I don't judge him, That's not my call. But he needs help. And will never get help untill he realizes them thoughts are wrong no matter where you live...Sorry this is very sick and he needs help with these feelings, Not encourgment from people to try and get what he wants. Worry about a little 10 yr old that is confussed about what love is. Please

April 6, 2001
11:12 pm
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encinoguy
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Hold it.

In these cultures of which everyone speaks, isn't it usually that 10 year olds are paired with other 10 year olds for when they become the ripe old age of say....14? No matter what culture it is, he is OFF THE WALL with any kind of "love" feelings for a 10 year old. Off the "pedophelic" wall that is. A 24 year old guy who is turned on by a 10 year old is dangerous and needs to see a shrink, or medication or locked up before he does some harm. I would seriously question his mentality, his maturity and his morals. Get over it Dude and leave the little girl alone. Go pick on someone your own age....better yet, go get some help. If you're going mad over this little child, you are mad.

April 7, 2001
3:31 am
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catman
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Sicko!!!!!!

April 7, 2001
11:31 am
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Molly
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I guess you all missed, my STOP IT, and suggestion that it would be viewed as child molestion, I was trying to be nice. DUH

April 7, 2001
6:03 pm
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LETITIA
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HI HAMAD. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT GOES THROUGH A MANS MIND WHEN HE IS ATTRACTED TO OR TURNED ON BY A CHILD.I DO REALIZE THAT CHILDREN TEND TO DEVELOPE OR FILL OUT AT A MUCH EARIER AGE THIS DAY AND TIME, BUT WHAT A PERSON LOOKS LIKE DOESN'T MAKE HIM OR HER GROWN UP. I HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD SON WHO IS 6'2" TALL AND WEIGHS CLOSE TO 200 LBS. HE HAS MUSCLES LIKE A MAN AND WEARS A MANS SIZE SHOE OF 13. BUT THE FACT IS HE'S STILL MY BIG BABY. HE CRIES WHEN HE'S HURT, HE PLAYS WITH OTHER CHILDREN, AND HE KNOWS HE IS JUST A CHILD. THE SAD PART ABOUT HIS LIFE IS THAT WHEN HE WAS 11 YEARS OLD MY HUSBAND MOLESTED HIM AND NOW HE HAS TO LIVE WITH WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM. MY HUSBAND GOT ONE YEAR HOUSE ARREST AND THREE YEARS PROBATION. IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE, THE MINIMUM SENTENCE IS 7 1/2 YEARS IN STATE PRISON. CAN YOU AFFORD THIS? I SUGGEST THAT YOU, IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR COUSIN, THINK ABOUT THE MENTAL DAMAGE YOU ARE CAUSING HER. SHE IS TO YOUNG TO BE HURTING OVER A MAN. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO AWAY FOR A WHILE, JOIN THE ARMY OR THE MARINES. YOU WILL GET OVER THIS GIRL IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT HER. GIVE HER THE OPPERTUNITY TO BE A LITTLE GIRL AND PLAY LITTLE GIRL GAMES. SHE WILL LOVE YOU MORE IF YOU GIVE HER THIS CHANCE. BUT REMEMBER, HER LOVE WIIL BE FOR HER COUSIN (YOU) NOT A FORMER LOVER. PRAY FOR GOD TO TAKE THESE FEELINGS FROM YOU. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR BELIEF IS GOD WILL HEAR YOUR PRAYERS.

April 7, 2001
6:07 pm
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LETITIA
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September 21, 2001
1:59 am
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child
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This confirms that ancient culture was that way.
?How did western culture become different?
And who can claim what is right? By western society standards this is incest and child molestation. What caused our view to change in the west world?
In my opinion this is odd.....but, he did not seem to be disturbed by age difference or relation, But, rather more towards the fact that he has to wait....
In my sitiuation I am disturbed by age difference . In his he was bothered by waiting.
What is the true nature of Man? and what is societies program?

September 21, 2001
10:04 am
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philter
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letitia , i'm with you and the rest of you guys 10-24 needs psychological help , 10-24 your perversion no matter what culture you come from is not acceptable in the world today , people such as you 10-24 are the people who fucked my life , letitia's sons life and plenty of others . get ya hand off ya dick , your nose out of pornos ,a pair of glasses , and take a good hard look at yourself and leave the poor little girl alone and stop fucking her life up .

September 21, 2001
10:23 am
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sue2001
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Agreed, that is not normal I mean a ten year old does not have anything that a normal 24 year should be looking for.... The buck should stop here ... you should be looked for and locked up... and kept away from all children of any age.... or culture..

September 21, 2001
11:30 am
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Ladeska
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Well.....all I have to say on the matter regarding other cultures, blah, blah, blah is - go rent the video "The Bandit Queen". That pretty much says it all about men being attracted to 10 year olds.

September 21, 2001
11:40 am
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pam g fu
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No way! Let her grow up. Move on to the real world.

September 21, 2001
11:57 am
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hoqmd01
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DUDE, you're nutts...should've thought about staying away from the begining. You're just ruining a relationship, you need counseling.

September 21, 2001
1:18 pm
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orizon
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I agree with "child" : the notion of good or bad and moral are not the same for differents cultures, even for differents personns ! What's important here is to tell if this kind of relationship is good FOR Hamad and his cousin (not if god would appreciate it...). As far as I'm concerned, I think that sexual relation would fuck a ten year old girl's life up (as philter said so well...). But it's possible that this ten year old girl is mature, and in my opinion, all other type of loving relation can't fuck a life up ! I think it's not a problem that Hamad see his cousin if he manages to keep his sexual feelings for him, which doesn't seems to me so difficult... In any case, I agree that he needs counseling (but who doesn't need counseling ?)
Bye

Pardon my english, but I'm a 19 year old french student...

September 21, 2001
1:43 pm
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pill
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WHY?

September 21, 2001
2:27 pm
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gingerleigh
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All right, all right! Enough with the sicko comments. That doesn't help. Throwing out vitriol over the web will only drive this person away from here, most likely then forever to reject the help that need needs to protect himself, that little girl and other little girls like her.

Hamad, very glad that you posted this. (And before everyone starts throwing rocks at me too, just let me say that I too was damaged at an extremely young age by a much older man in this manner, and believe me it does serious damage. I can attest to it personally.)

Hamad, this is serious stuff. You know in your heart that something does not quite ring true and right with this, otherwise you would not be posting here.

So, first step, get some help, start with some basic counseling to find out what is at the root of this. This behavior is NOT OK.

September 22, 2001
5:39 am
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philter
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sorry gingerleigh , you are right , i just got carried away emotionally and still need a bit of growth

September 28, 2001
1:55 am
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child
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First of all I brought this thread to the top to show that age difference was not an issue in ancient world cultures. I am not promoting the idea of courting relationships between an adult and a child. But I am in search of Love in its pureist form, and how to deal with it when age is a factor.
I HAVE NOT, DO NOT, and WILL NOT support any idea of sexual relations with a child!!!
Now will all judges, please, stop!! seeing the issues as a sexual motivation and look at the sitiuation objectively, without labeling, with sex- fein tones.....

September 29, 2001
9:17 pm
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shades
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Sorry but you should not pursue that anymore...it's kinda sick

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