Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Im in love, and he is married.
January 21, 2005
1:03 am
Avatar
whatdidido
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Okay, So I have known this guy for about 5 years. We were friends then I started having feelings for him. Then one day, out of the blue, he told me he had feelings for me also. And just recently we got "involved". We never had sex or anything, just kissed. But that isnt the thing, His wife and I are close friends. He talks about getting divorced all the time. I know it isnt going to happen, so I ended things. But I keep thinking what if he does.. in the back of my mind I know he wont, but.. I still have what if's. He and I still talk and see eachother all the time. He tells me how much he loves me and he acts liek nothing is different. I dont know what to do, I love him and I cant just not see him because, I his wife and I are friends. I dont know how to get over him and stop thinking we might be together. Any advice would be much appreciated. If any of that makes any sense. It is very complicated... as I am sure you can tell.

January 21, 2005
1:16 am
Avatar
LthrNlace
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Matters of the heart are never simple, unfortunately! I myself have strong feelings for a man that i can not be with, not because he is married or has a gf, but for other reasons. And it sucks! It hurts when your heart wants something that it can not have. There is a quote that says something to the effect that the hardest thing is to be sitting next to the one you love, but not being able to be with them.

I am not sure what advice I can give you that would be useful to you, since I can not seem to help myself out of a similiar situation. The heart takes one road while your mind and the situation take other directions. For myself, I am trying hard to let go of him. I have looked at all the things he has done for me, and realized that I have to let go. Which is the hardest thing in the world for me to do. I don't know if you have a strong faith, but I am trying to strengthen mine. I pray each night that God may heal my heart and allow me to get through this and to let His will for me be done. Besides, I always think that if it is meant to be, he will come back to me, if its not to be, then I will get through it and find someone that I can be with completely.

Im not sure any of this is much use, but I wish you well! Keep posting! 🙂

January 21, 2005
9:08 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Whad...i think you know the answer...and yes, he is unavailable..try to go with your head on this one not your heart. And know deep down you deserve someone just for you, not to be shared with by this man. Have you tried reading some coda books?? they are very helpful.
Keep YOU as the most important for now, and try to forget about this married man, i know its alot easier said than done, but he most likely will end up hurting you in the long run.

January 21, 2005
9:23 am
Avatar
Cici
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

No contact.

There's your answer. This is a relationship that cannot happen, according to your own intuition. So let it go. Further entanglements will only be masochistic torture.

As Money Mark sang, "sometimes, you gotta make it on your own."

January 21, 2005
10:55 am
Avatar
ILSILS
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

first thing that came to my mind was uhoh, my husband has known one of my friends for aobut five years now, ouch that would really hurt, i know its not my husband but it made me think, please dont do this, think of the other inocent people you may be hurting, if it was my husband id be devatated

January 21, 2005
11:14 am
Avatar
petitefour
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My husband and I are separated, but are working on our marriage, he insisted that I agree/sign a written agreement that disallowed us BOTH to not file for divorce, or to date others.

In the meantime, during our 4 month separation, he was denying a relationship with is ex high school sweet heart that he has not disclosed. He claims he has asked that she not call, email or try to contact him in anyway to salvage our fragile marriage. She is divorced.

She is, however, still calling my husband! This has hurt me and our marriage incredibly. I am constantly in a state of watchfulness. I love my husband and want him and only him.
This woman is the OTHER woman. Please try to remember how it feels to be someone like me or others who have been hurt by affairs. Find someone who IS available and will be able to give himself fully to you. You deserve this and I deserve this from my husband of five years!

Being the other woman cannot be a good place to be in. Imagine if the tables were turned and it was YOU that was being told I LOVE YOU, I WANT ONLY YOU and then you found out your husband/bf was seeing someone like YOU (the other woman). It feels terrible!!!!!! Please move on and break things off, if not for yourself but for HIM and his family. Please.

January 23, 2005
12:45 pm
Avatar
lostinthismess
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just put yourself in his wife's shoes for a second and imagine the heart ache she would feel over this. Be the better person trust your morals and tell him it's not going to happen.

January 23, 2005
1:38 pm
Avatar
gardengnome
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Please leave him alone. my husband just left because he got involved with someone 7 months ago and when it started he told me it was something that would pass...then it became more serious and now he's gone and he says she has nothing to do with it...what a bunch of crap... rather that work on our problem communication with eachother he chose to seek confort in the op. the op is just a way out. let him find the proper way out, don't be him scapegoat!

January 23, 2005
1:46 pm
Avatar
fairy99
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree with everyone. A realtionship with someone who is married is only trouble. There are too many what if's and how can any one person live with all that. There's no future in loving a married man, I know. At some point you have to realize what you have to give up to stay in that kind of a relationship and trust me when I say it's not worth it at all. You need to really think this thru clearly and decide if you are willing to give up the things in your life that are more important. Good luck sweetie. You have my support.

~~fairy~~

January 23, 2005
6:38 pm
Avatar
balancesekr
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I would strongly suggest not spending time with him or your close friend (his wife).

It would really bother me that he talks about divorcing your friend all the time and goes home and sleeps with her at night. He doesn't sound like a great potential mate to me.

I've been there with a married man, it is a DEAD END! Stay strong, stay true to yourself and your close friend 😉

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
24
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110978
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714262
Newest Members:
brianwolfe, swright, nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information