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I'm in desperate need of help!
February 4, 2005
1:35 am
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gmv79
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September 29, 2010
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I've been with this woman for 3 going on 4 yrs. now and I can't take the way we treat each other any more! We can't have a good conversation without one of us sayng something that shouldn't be said. She insults almost everything I do or say! This is the last mo. of our lease and I seriously feel like just leaving and calling it quits! I don't know if I love her, but we've been through so much together. We both have our good and bad sides. I just need a little advice on what to do. She e-mailed me this site months ago saying that I need help, so I've decided to give it a try, but am I the only one? It's like a constant battle over who's in charge of this relationship. We can't just let things flow naturally. We've been in fights so bad she's called the police on me to where I almost lost my job and had to settle for a 7 yr. class c misdomenour charge. I almost got a class A felony domestic dispute charge! She took classes to help support my case and in the end I ended up with the class C. Then in Dec. we got into it again but I went to bed trying to drop the argument only for her to call the police again!! She was in the living room!! I literally had to run from the police! Is this a healthy relationship? Is it worth saving? I'm so confused..Do I love her?...Is she worth it?...Damn this is hard. This is my first real relationship. I've never past a yr. 1/2 with anyone before her. I get frustrated b/c whenever we argue she corners me in an area and won't let me budge untill we resolve our argument...Isn't this a form of abuse? I never get the chance to just walk and vent some steam. She told me that she thinks if I leave in the middle of an argument then it will never be resolved. There used to be times when I would have to lock myself in the restroom so I could atleast be a certain distance from her so she could talk calmy. I used to have to run to the front door or try to actually climb down my balcony just so I could leave for a little while and calm down. Now I'm turning 26 yrs old this yr and so far I've broken her arm (accidently), began drinking almost everyday, I've been diagnosed with chronic heart burn (acid reflux)b/c of stress, and the doctor also said I have a weak heart. Also my family doesn't talk to me 1/2 as much as they used too...Is this worth it??? There's a lot more to say but I don't want her to get up and see what I'm typing about. Sorry for the eye sore. I just need a little help.

February 4, 2005
1:45 am
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mamacinnamon
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September 27, 2010
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Sorry you are dealing w/ so much.

Is this abuse? In my opinion yes, but you have to make that decision yourself. Do you want to live the rest of your life in this situation? That's your question to answer. She will not change. You can change yourself, but seems like she has just as many if not more problems than you. Also, if she gave you this website, is she checkin it out to see what you write about her? Just a thought.

I know I've not been much help. But I think if you can answer the above questions, you will find your answers.

Have ya'll tried marriage or couples counseling?

February 4, 2005
7:58 am
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sexychocgirl
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September 29, 2010
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HI I READY REALLY KNOW WHAT YOUR ARE TALKING ABOUT. I JUST LET GO OF AN A
ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. WITH ALOT OF THE SAMEINSANITY LIKE ME SAYING THE NASTIEST THING I CAN THINK OF TO SAY TO HIM. LIKE BECAUSE HE WAS CHEATING I SCATCH UP HIS CARE GOT ARRESETED
CHARGES WERE DROP TO MISDEMEANER.
WE GOT BUT TOGETHER NOT LONG AFTER.
IN MY A OPINON WE ARE BOTH GOT PEOPLE.THAT COME FROM ABUSIVE PASTS
THAT COME TOGETHER BEACAUSE WE DONT
WANT TO BE ALONE.BUT I HAVE NOW COME TO A PLACE IN MY LIFE WHERE IT'S TIME TO GROW UP. YES MY REALTIONSHIP WAS VERY DAMAGING TO ME. I RECENTLY
CAME BACK TO THIS SITE. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU...

February 4, 2005
9:00 am
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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seems like you are putting up with alot, and no, you are not alone...its seems funny that she gave you the address to this website, cuz she in some ways seems coda also...being controlling and trying to take charge of the relationship. You do have choices, and again, you cannot change her, but you can change yourself and decide if you want to put up with her behavior. Keep coming back and reading threads and posting...it all helps.

February 4, 2005
2:49 pm
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kathygy
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September 30, 2010
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It sounds like a very unhealthy relationship and definately not worth it unless you can both change the way you relate to each other. It sounds like you are stuck in the power struggle phase of a relationship. You need outside help. More than this web site. Does she want to change? Have you thought of going to counseling? If she refuses to go and isn't interested in working on herself I would leave the relationship and find someone who is healthier,

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