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I'm in crisis
September 19, 2005
9:22 am
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jastypes
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September 30, 2010
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I am NOT having fun here! Mark (my husband)is on the attack, and I can’t stand it – or him. I went to a Concert of Prayer last night. When I came home, the kids told me that Mark totally lost it on them. He actually drove to the park where Greg, Janet and Sheila were to scream at them for some imagined offense. In his ranting he said something about me having an affair. Of course the first thing he said to me was, “Do you want a divorce?” How did I know that was coming? I got mad. I called him an ass. It got worse. I swear to you that I didn’t get an hour’s sleep until he left at 4:30. Every time I’d dose off he’d wake me up. Some of the things I heard last night were, “Are you a lesbian? Are you having an affair? Do you want a divorce? Maybe I should stay in Elizabeth for a couple of months and leave you alone. Is that what you want? Are we repeating the pattern here of where I get straight and you cheat on me? It seems odd that you’re out all the time. Do you love me? Am I making you unhappy? Why aren’t you happy? Do you want me to leave right now?” This went on and on and on. I did not respond. I mostly grunted. I was FUMING inside, but I couldn’t make my mouth speak. I wanted to run away. I wanted to eat chocolate until I exploded. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to punch him in the mouth. And this morning I want to file for divorce.

He says his security is being threatened. He wants me to reassure him. I can’t. I just can’t. I am going through so much emotional turmoil right now, and the person who is supposed to be supportive and loving and caring is bashing me. He’s taking the broken pieces of my life and completely crushing them. I was having a really hard time praying on the train today.

I’m going to the gym tonight for my kickboxing class. Guess who I’ll be thinking about while I’m punching and kicking! LOL.

Thanks for listening,

Jill

September 19, 2005
11:16 am
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jastypes
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help. anyone out there

September 19, 2005
11:35 am
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gayle
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I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 10 years, it was after my then 7 year old asked me what a Wh0re was that I decided enough was enough and I started standing up for myself. These things he says are ways for him to try and break you down and control you. I had to think about what kind of example I was allowing my children to see and was this what I wanted to teach them. I decided it was not and it took some time, some fighting and therapy on my part and he finally moved out and we divorced. It was what I needed to do to have peace in my life. I can't speak for you but I can ask you- What are you teaching your children about marriage and love and is this example what you want them to repeat in their own lives? I know this sounds harsh and I don't mean to add insult to injury, please take care of your self and your children- His behavior is totally out of line- don't accept it! Don't stuff your anger- tell him you are angry and that he is not allowed to treat you this way. It took me a LONG time to do that. It was very freeing to be able to tell him that I didn't want to be married to him anymore that there was noone else in my life that it was about me not wanting to be with him anymore. Its a hard and scary place to be! You are in my prayers! Have fun kickboxing tonight!

September 19, 2005
12:35 pm
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SUSIE BABY
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keep doing for you! kick the crap out of that bag tonight. sound's to me,you have your higher power, god will take care of you and your children. if he's running his mouth to your children,it's time to rethink some thing's,huh? keep the faith,susan

September 19, 2005
2:43 pm
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Lass
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September 24, 2010
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Verbal abuse is at least as damaging, if not moreso, than physical abuse.

September 19, 2005
6:02 pm
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columbia
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Write down all the freaky stuff he said , all the crazy accusations. Put them in a safe place. You may need them later. They might help you when you or he see a counselor or lawyer, Sounds pretty bad. I feel you were right not to respond to him. It doesn't help either of you. You might want to talk to your kids to see how they are feeling. All the other advice sounds good to me to. Yes , I've been through similiar stuff in my first marriage.

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