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I'm codependent and need help.
April 21, 2009
8:20 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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My life has been on living hell after another.. My 2nd wife just told me today that she wanted a divorce. My problem is that I get "addicted" to the women in my life. I get this overwhelming feeling of panic that they dont love me anymore, or are cheating on me.. basically just some kind of concocted fear that I will lose them.. I end up being overprotective, over jealous and it drives them away.. My wife now wanted to seperate and wanted some space.. she moved back in with her mom and I just could NOT help myself.. I kept going over, trying to see her, texting her.. etc. etc. and it drove her away.. the story of my life.. How can i change this behavior? what can I do? I need advice.

April 22, 2009
4:53 pm
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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Hi Sphereplay

Get some help! A therapist specializing in codependancy because that's what this is. You will need to learn to focus on yourself and not the other person. Develop yourself and who you are and what makes you feel good without a woman in your life. I've had great results from a long stint of therapy and after being single for three years I have met a great guy and am having a healthy relationship - that is- not obsessing or controlling or being with someone who doesn't give me what I need. It's really worth the hard work. This stuff you are doing has probably come from childhood and it will be hard to change it but it sounds like you are at the exact moment where you are ready for change! Have courage and go for it! Love yourself first and then you are free to love others. Good luck on your journey.

April 22, 2009
5:36 pm
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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try to believe in yourself more, love yourself more....give your wife space, time with family and friends....and trust, trust, trust is key....the more you don't trust, and "think" something is going on, the more you will push women away.

But if you have the confidence, and know you are a good person, you can
learn to trust others more & appreciate having a woman as part of your life....not your "whole/complete" life.

hope that makes sense 🙂

April 23, 2009
6:35 pm
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
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I, too, am codependent and need help. I am going to a therapist and a psychiatrist. My husband (an alcoholic) recently left to take a job in Florida.
He refuses to talk to me on the phone because I am supposedly still trying to control him from Connecticut.
I have read Co-Dependent No More and have to carry it around like a Bible.
I don't know how to snap out of this funk.
My husband tells me that I have to get better before he gets better...what does that mean? Doesn't he need to get bette too? I am living in limbo.... and don't know what to do....

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