Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
i'm a fool- did another drive-by
August 1, 2005
10:45 am
Avatar
star eyed
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well, i did another drive by- I really thought she was starting to end that relationship and sure enough her girlfriend's car was there. So, this is it--I am letting go- I had already told her to stay out of my life 2 weeks ago and she tried to do things to get me to interact with her, but i've avoided all of them, which is a success on my part. But now, i am acknowledging something different- She's not worth it. I hate her. She's a selfish you know what. Enough of her excuses. Enough of the pity i am supposed to have for her. They can have each other. I can get better and I deserve a hell of a lot better. I hate the fact we work together. I have to see her about once a week, but I have been able to be in the same room and not engage with her, so that's good. I just think she still gets something by being able to see me and i don't think it's fair. I want to believe she's hurting... it's like she's in this other relationship and i'm supposed to wait for some future time.. she last "gave me her heart" -- oh please, such bullcrap....

I am seriously considering changing jobs, but I'm financially dependent on this job and need to get out of debt.... i do not think i can find another job that will pay me this much with benefits... so i'm not sure what to do...

i hate her with everything in me. I don't need her. I don't want her... and I wish I could spit on her...

August 1, 2005
10:53 am
Avatar
2bstrong
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

star eyed--

Sorry you are feeling so terrible. I have done the drive by's. They are useless, and they hurt like hell. It's a way that we stay connected. But not a good way, and it sounds as if staying connected in any way at all is not good for you.

Take a deep breath. It's going to be ok, you will be fine and you will get through this. It isn't fair when we hurt so much, and they seem to be having the time of their lives. Just remember, you can only run for so long.

Let the hate feelings flow away. They are also an investment and a way of staying connected...

Thinking of you, 2b

August 1, 2005
11:07 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi star eyed....wow, the drive by's i used to do them too...and they cause more pain than anything.

You are so much better off "not knowing" (instead of doing the drive bys) and trying to just realize that it is over, it is done, and give the relationship some closure.

You will get thru this, and keep thinking and re reading the post you wrote, sounds like she caused more
heartache than you need.

((camer)))

August 1, 2005
11:42 am
Avatar
donna25
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I don't have a car but I litterally just did a "walk by" but he lives in a building across the street from so it's not that bad...I have to awalk by but I always look up to see if I can see him on his balcony

August 1, 2005
3:06 pm
Avatar
kathygy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hating this woman is not good for your serenity. it sounds like you need to get all of your anger out so you can let go of the hatred. Write about it, say everything outloud that you need to say to her when you are alone or with a trusted friend, pound a pillow, do whatever it takes until the anger is gone. Don't worry about what she is thinking or feeling. Just keep the focus on you and stay connected to yourself when you see her at work.

love,
kathy

August 1, 2005
3:20 pm
Avatar
tenderheart
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi star eyed, i agree with Kathy. Our mind and heart can make us relive the hurt and the pain so long as we give into it. We can't change them but we can change ourselves. So continue to be strong.

August 1, 2005
3:40 pm
Avatar
theseboots
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

If you really hate her good for you. I wish I could hate the husband that left me then I could get on with my life

August 4, 2005
2:59 pm
Avatar
star eyed
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

boy, you all are so right-- since writing this, i have been very angry-- more angry than i think i ever have been... and i can feel it in my body- physically-- when i try to do other things to keep moving... now, i'm trying to sit still and feel it-- and it hurts soooooooooooo much.... sometimes i want to shake her... i am so angry at her for giving up... for leaving... and i realize too that i am letting go of her friends and family too-- i think that was something that was also holding me in... i just realized today- that i need to let go of them too...

does the anger end? how long does it take? how long did it take you? i admit sometimes i start to drink-- to get drunk enough to pass out or numb myself...

August 4, 2005
3:14 pm
Avatar
kathygy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

star,

the harder you work at getting the anger out the sooner you will get pass it. Drinking will only make it take longer to get rid of the anger. I find it very helpful to have a support person present while I am working on my anger. I do that in therapy. Given the intensity of your anger you are probably feeling unresolved anger from the past at the same time you are feeling angry at this person. Feel the anger fully and make statements outloud that express how you feel.

love,
kathy

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
28
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714258
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information