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I'm a cutter
August 2, 2001
1:59 pm
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Brat2
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I been cutting for 2 years off and on. I am in counseling. I'm trying to stop but it isn't that easy. The main reason I cut is my dad is a alcoholic all my life. Everybody thinks that I don't want to stop but sometimes I can't control myself on those bad days. I don't know if there's somebody who understands what I'm going through if you do please respond thanks.

August 2, 2001
2:06 pm
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Listen...
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I'd like to understand what you mean by "cutting" Do you mean you cut your skin?

August 2, 2001
3:49 pm
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Molly
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go to alateen. They will understand, they can't make you stop cutting, only you can make that choice, but they may be able to give you some better ways to handle the problems of living with an alcoholic parent, Where is mom?

August 3, 2001
1:07 am
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damaged
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Brat2

Hi I can understand what you are going through. I have been a cutter on and off for about twenty two years. However my parents were not alcoholics, I am the alcoholic. I never went to counseling for this until about nine months ago. The days I want to cut the most is days when I get pissed off. Right now I am going through some hard [email protected] and I am fighting hard not to cut. I feel right now I have worked so hard to stay sober and I don't want anymore scars to show my pain. I hope you will get the help you need. My worst scars came in the last ten months. I well have them the rest of my life. I think in a way the cuttings scared me so much I had to chose life or death. My two worst cuts I did in a black out and I don't even remember doing them. If I chose to start to drink again I also think I well cut so deep I might bleed to death and not even know it. Stick with your counseling. Damaged

August 12, 2001
11:15 am
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Katherine
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I understand some of what you are saying. I started cutting when I was about 15 years old and it took a lot of therapy and a lot of self control to stop. I am 24 now, and the last time I did it was about 6 months ago. I still think about it when things get really bad. As for advice, all I can do is tell you what I did and I don't know if that will help you. I only used a razor blade, so I tried not to buy any. Easier said than done, I know. Of course, then I went to a pocket knife. I think what really did it for me was my husband, then fiance, who said that he could not stay with me if I kept doing it. I guess I figured that he was worth it. I hope this helped at least just to know that you are not the only one.
Kate

August 13, 2001
5:49 am
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cheer up it might never happen
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when i was little i used to cut myself because my parents were alcoholics, i have stopped doing that since and it became more serious as i attempted suicide earlier this year, i think i am over it now but when i have thought about it and what i done i know i used to do it out of anger and i wanted to hurt myself, the reason for this was i had so much hate inside me a needed an outlet i could not blame anyone directly so i turned it back on myself, you have do figure out why you do this, is it hate ? self hatred ? if so find out why that is the only way you can help yourself, remember do not punish yourself for others mistakes ! take care and the next time you feel like that ask why am i upset and then deal with them/that first before harming yourself ! everyone has someone thereself !

August 17, 2001
7:24 pm
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jadadavinci
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Hi, Brat2, Damaged, and Cheer up,

I was also a cutter. It started at 15 years old; a deterent from the emtional pain to a physical pain that seemed to make more sense. It was also a release. I stopped also, but over a year ago, I had a thought about it. I don't do it, but I know that alot of people have problems with it. My counselor sees two cutters. One is 21, and the other is 44. It affects alot of people and a variety of ages. I hope you all are doing well.I will check the board and try to get back to you all. Have a good day.

Jada 🙂

August 18, 2001
9:58 am
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damaged
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Jada

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I have medicaded myself for so long and was so in denial about everything. I am ready to start learning about this behavior and maybe try to help others some day. I was in high school the first time I cut and I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I never knew why I did it. My dad only ask one time what happened and I lied about it and that was good enough. I guess it's like if we act like there isn't a problem than it must not be a problem. Over the years I cut but in places are not so deep that people could see them. Out of sight out of mind again there must not be a problem. However in my last days of drinking which has only been months ago my other personality (I call it) cut so deep and in places I can not hide. I also could have bleed to death if I would have cut lower or higher I guess. I don't remember doing most of them however, the ones I do remember I did when sad or mad. I am starting to like myself better every day and I just hope that everyone that cuts can find the answer of why and the strenth and help they need to stop.

Damaged

August 19, 2001
1:07 am
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jadadavinci
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Hi Damaged,

Thanks for responding.I'm glad you are starting to like yourself better.

How long has it been since you cut last. Cutting for me happened when I was so emotionally distraut that I couldn't handle that feeling anymore. Just the thought about cutting made me feel better. Isn't that strange?

I would like to help others too who have been throught his or are going through it now.

Why do you think you first started cutting? I mean, what might have been going on that caused it? You do not have to answer if you aren't comfortable.And may I ask exactly where it is that you cut. I would cut right inside my wrist; all up and down my arm.I have scars to this day.

Have to run for now, but I will be checking the board. You can email me if you'd like at [email protected], hotmail, icq, or yahoo; whichever is most convenient for you.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Dee 🙂

August 19, 2001
2:15 pm
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Scarred_Soul
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Hi - I am a cutter too. Some of you know me - I haven't been here for a while - but anyway - it isn't easy at all to stop - I know that a thousand times over - about a month ago I decided to stop for good...but when ever I get really really upset - I still wanna do it - but I just thought that I'd let you know that I know how you feel. And I'm sorry but I guess that I don't really have any advice for you at the moment.

Good luck!

August 20, 2001
10:33 am
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jadadavinci
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Scarred Soul,

Thanks for sharing that you are a cutter too. That is very helpful to others to hear that, because then they know that they are not alone, and that someone else understands. Hope you are doing well.

Dee

August 20, 2001
4:29 pm
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damaged
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The reason I first started to cut was because I was young gay and didn't even know it. I had no one to talk to
about my situation. I was born and raised baptist and I was someone that was going to hell. I also developed a drinking problem. The last time I cut was not that long ago but it was cutting or drinking and I chose to cut. Damaged

August 21, 2001
1:46 pm
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jadadavinci
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Damaged,

Hi. Sorry I didn't write back sooner. I would like to talk to you about something if you could write to my personal address. You might have, but I have been trying to get to it, and I can'tseem to. I will get my friend to help me get back into my account to check if you have written something. Hang in there, ok? You are very brave to be able to talk about all of this. I hope I can write to you soon. Take care.

Dee 🙂

August 21, 2001
11:37 pm
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Fischer
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September 29, 2010
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Hi. I can understand what you are going through because my dad also did the same thing. Although i din't go through counseling I can give you advise. First of all how old are you. You need to think about yourself and think about your future. And you should get some really close freinds that can give you support and be there for you if you don't have those right now. And try to just focus on your future and make the best out of your life. No one should abuse them selfs likethat cause it don't matter who you are you don't deserve to be cut .. the best of luck to you

August 22, 2001
12:53 am
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jadadavinci
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Damaged:

I cannot seem to get into my hotmail box. Is there anyway you can write back to me on my aol email box. Maybe you can write back to the [email protected].

Hope to hear from you soon.

Dee

August 23, 2001
9:43 am
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damaged
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Jada

I have tried to e-mail you but I guess you are still having problems. You say I am very brave to talk about all of this , however I call it courage that God has granted me. Looking forward to talking to you.
Damaged

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