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I'm a bad mom!!!
November 29, 1999
11:11 am
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J. C.
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Okay, maybe I'm over-reacting a little, but I feel so horrible. I can't help it!! I was crying when I dropped him off this morning. Here's the deal. My son is in preschool and goes 1/2 days mon-thurs. Each child is assigned a snack day every month. This day is very special to the child. He gets to bring a show 'n tell, a snack for everyone, he gets to be the special helper for the day, and his parent can stay with him at school for the day.

Here's what happened:

Today is his snack day. His teacher forgot to send home the snack bag (my reminder) because of the chaos with their Thanksgiving feast during the last 30 min of class Wed. I have been working every day 9 and 10 hours a day except for Thurs. We slept in this morning. My youngest was in his pajamas when we got to school. I was thinking that it had to be soon, because tomorrow is the last day of November, but I didn't have the bag. I wish I would've looked on my calender last night. Even this morning, I could have thrown a box of graham crackers in his bag and sent a show 'n tell with him. I just didn't think of it until we got there. I could have worked it out to have my youngest son to go to my moms so I could go to school, but not in such short notice. I barely combed my hair before I took him to school today. The teacher said they had something there they could give out as a snack and he gets to be the helper today. She said he can bring a show 'n tell tomorrow, but it won't be the same. I still forgot his special day. That can't be changed. My son is constantly complaining about me not being home anyways, now I forget his snack day. The look on his face...heart breaking. I could tell it was the beginning of a bad day for my little boy. Sorry, I'm rambling. I just can't stop thinking about it. I obsess over these things so bad and so long. I just wish I could go back and...

November 29, 1999
12:36 pm
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berry
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Hi J.C.,

As a mother of two who has also, from time to time, forgotten to "bring in a snack", an appointment, even forgotten that it was a minimum day at school and didn't pick up a kid, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER IT!
And it WILL probably happen again! My gosh, there are so many details that Moms (and Dads) have to keep track of, it is inevitable that something will be forgotten.

I know it is hard seeing the look of disappointment on their faces, but Moms are only human and make mistakes. It is important that kids see that. Kid's need to learn to deal with disappointment-life is full of them. I see way too many parents out there who just can't stand to see their kids unhappy. These kids grow up never learning how to cope with disappointment, as their parents always try to "fix" things.

All you can do is apologize. Be very matter-of-fact about it. Maybe try to spend a little extra time with your son. Is there some favorite game, activity etc. that you could do with him? Sit and read with him for a little bit and have some cuddle time.

And no, you're certainly not a "bad mom"!!! That's quite apparent from your post.

Berry

November 29, 1999
1:08 pm
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J. C.
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Thanks, Berry. I just felt so bad. I know he will be disappointed at times, but not with me!!! Okay, I'm done obsessing. When I picked him up today, he asked me why I wasn't there with him on his snack day...he didn't care about not picking out the snack or bringing a show 'n tell, he just wanted me there. I just told him that I forgot that today was his day, and told him I was sorry. I said that sometimes grown ups forget things like that...just like you forget where you put your shoes sometimes. That was the end of it. I do feel a little better about it. Thanks again for the response. I really needed to just get it all out of my system.

~JC

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