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ilsils needs help quick, please!!! ouch!!!! just found out bad news cant cope
February 22, 2005
4:48 pm
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ILSILS
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ouccccchhhhh!
so in the husbands new found religion after trying crack, he felt like he needed to come clean with me on something that he did to me, my heart raced as i wated while he told me he had cheated! OMG i though that was the one thing that would never happen, through all that had happened between us that was the one thing i could still hang on to,
i can hardly breath right now, i feel weak, like i could just die right here right now, of a broken heart.

February 22, 2005
4:56 pm
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jastypes
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Oh, Ilsis, how devastating. I am so sorry this happened, and that he felt the need to tell you now, when you are already feeling vulnerable. I hope you will take some time to be alone and think things through. I hope you can find some support. Do you belong to a church where you can talk to the pastor? If not, maybe you want to find one. I'll be praying for you.

jill

February 22, 2005
5:05 pm
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Anonymous
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Men are scum and all he has proven is that he is a scummy little shit. Wanting money wanting this and that, you remember how much better you are than that.

Thank god you know, you know why, because then you would have still given him more chances.

He is just a prick a selfish prick and he thinks that by telling you this he can get a REACTION.

My god I know why he is doing this. It's all about the reaction he can get from you to show that he still has power over you. That is all.

I promise this.

February 22, 2005
5:11 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Ilsils: That is horrible of him to tell you that. Even worse is that he did it in the first place though. Was he telling you this to intentionally be cruel or did he think he was just clearing the air for his own conscience? Either way, it was cruel, mean, hateful- you name it. Not considerate of you at all. The results are the same - it is devastating to you. I don't blame you for feeling broken hearted- that is such a betrayal. I hope you can find a way to find some peace and comfort. Are you thinking of leaving him? Or are you trying to make this work? What are his intentions? You are in my thoughts. SD

February 22, 2005
5:14 pm
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You say you can't breathe. I remember that's just how I felt when I found out I'd been cheated on. It is as though the whole world has turned upside down. Right now you are in shock, and as this news starts to register, you will experience a whole range of emotions, but the one thing you will find, is that you are able to breathe, you are able to handle it, and ultimately you will be able to make sense of things again.
Hang in there-you will be amazed at just how strong you can be!

February 22, 2005
5:48 pm
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newlyaware
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I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. for a man to cheat on you is the deepest way he can hurt you. My husband told me about 3 years ago that he had cheated on me. It broke my heart, but I was able to cope with the help of God. Pleas ask him to give you peace, that is what I did. While I still hurt from that trauma, that night could have been a lot worse. I always told him I would leave him if he ever cheated on me, but I didn't. Maybe that is what he wanted at the time. He just told me last week that it was all a lie, just to get a REACTION out of me. I think that is even crueler. You need to take a good look at your relationship, and decide if it is worth sticking it out for. What does he give you? Does he meet your needs? Why would he tell you what happened anyway? What benefit does it give to you? I can only see benefit to him by getting it off his concious and onto yours. I would ask him every last detail, because what you can imagine in your mind would probably be much worse. Ask him why he did it, and how you can ever trust him again, and know he won't do it agian. Make him pay.

February 22, 2005
6:06 pm
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Trinity1980
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Some people might disagree with my advice but cheating is not as awful as it sounds. Just think about it movies, medias and talk shows talk about it as it's the most awful thing you can go through but in reality they just socialize you to think that it's the end of life.What I am trying to say obviously it hurts but it is better than going for years and not knowing. So now you have to look at what you had with this person ..does he think it's a mistake?Does he want to change..maybe you both should try open relationship? A lot of times cheating is just a way to get something that misses in your life..maybe you need to get together with someone else like you husband did. Maybe you'll disover new things about yourself.What I am trying to say cheating is part of many relationships we can look at it as taboo or try to understand it as an action that has a meaning.

February 22, 2005
6:39 pm
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Anonymous
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I hope you are doing okay? You are a great strong person and that piece of shit doesn't deserve you even looking at him.

February 22, 2005
6:48 pm
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Foggy1
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ILSILS,

I'm sorry for your pain and feelings of betrayal. There are many here who understand how you must feel.

Hoping you find the strength to get past this quickly.

February 22, 2005
10:41 pm
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msguud
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I HATE CHEATERS! I WILL NOT TOLERATE IT. NOR WILL I EVER GO OUT WITH A MARRIED MAN. I WAS CHEATED ON AND I WON'T DO IT TO SOMEONE ELSE.

(sorry for shouting)!!!

February 23, 2005
2:32 am
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addicts wife
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weird.. I tried posting here like 4 times, and it said page could not be displayed, but I am persistant so HOPEFULLY this one will go through....
Ilsils...
Iam so sorry you are going through this devastation, and heartache.I know what it is like to be betrayed, nd feel beside yourself, andI dont wish it upon anyone.
If i could pull out a remedy from my bag of tricks, I'd sprinle you with warm sparkly fuzzies, and pee in his kool ade.
I hope you ar breathing okay, and getting some rest.
I wanna kick him in the shins,andstick out my tongue at him for hurting you so much.
Sometimes i feel liek others feel nothing is sacred.
I pray you are doing okay, as hard as this is, we are all her for you, loving you, sending you hugs, and Kleenex, and a barf bag via keyboard, and postings.
I wish i was full of sage advize today, but I am not, all I can offer is my support, and sincere concern for what you are experiencing at this time.
Please know we are here, and have many electronic shoulders to rest on and help you walk over this hurdle with !!!!
(((((((((( big hugs))))))))))))))

February 23, 2005
2:48 am
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For Ben
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Iam sorry for this to happen to you, how long have you been married? And have you ever talk, just like kidding talk if you ever cheated on me, I would... My husband and I do. But I would be a reck. Be strong!

February 23, 2005
2:51 am
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Just wanted to add one more thing- I remember reading about how to cope after you find out a partner has been cheating. At the time, though, nothing seemed to sink in, other than complete confusion. However I read that knowledge can help take back some of the power; so if it is important to you, ask your husband to tell you everything. Sometimes it helps to put everything into perspective. It won't make for easy listening, but it will clarify things and help you to make sense of it all.
Give yourself time. Right now it must feel as though nothing will ever be the same again. You have decisions to make about the future of your relationship-but you will come out of this with more inner strength than you ever thought possible! Honestly!

~charlie~

February 23, 2005
12:04 pm
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Anonymous
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