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ils sick and tired of being sick and tired. could use some uplifting today
February 2, 2005
12:22 pm
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ILSILS
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hello all my friends,
im so glad all of you are allwayse here for me. nothing outragous or deserving of tons of attention today, just mild constant crap as usual,
one of the kids at the house where my husband is staying gave us all lice, wich is making me crazy with my ocd. my daughter is only 2, i hate this, then the next day she got pink eye and two ear infections. my husband has finally brought me to the boiling poiint. im feeling numb now, comming to the realization that he isnt in my plan of life, i dont think ill ever be happy with him, dont think ill ever get the things i deserve from him. feeling like i can finally give up, wich is a good thing in alot of ways. im finally letting go of the thinking that everything will be better and a miricle will happen for me. it wont, it wont change, i cant change him and boy do you know ive tried my best. going home tonight to clean everything once again, getting so tired, why does it allwayse seem like when it rains it pours for me. i should have listened to the sighns earlier. i would have saved myself alot of grief. but i just wasnt ready. well i want to be ready now.

February 2, 2005
12:25 pm
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Anonymous
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If you want to be, you will be.

Lice. It's a common thing but it sends most people over the edge. Don't be too hard on yourself!

It feels good to realize what you are really worthy of. Let it sink in...

Love to you,

Ren'ai

February 2, 2005
12:42 pm
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ILSILS
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thank you so much, feeling really out of sorts today. it helps so much to know you are all here. its great to have so many who inspire me with words of wisdom or experience

February 2, 2005
12:57 pm
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whitelight
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A few years ago, my half-niece and I were driving down to Oregon to see her mom. Her mother (my half-sister) was starving herself to death--she had MS and bad. Did not want to live anymore. (There is a silver lining in this, I promise!)

My sister's husband was untreated bi-polar (or SOMETHING) and had been violent and threatened my niece in the past with a knife, frightening her kids.

My niece had not seen her parents in a few years and was very nervous and afraid. We even had kids with us, she brought two of hers and I had my two.

As we started our journey, she said something I'll never forget. She said, "No matter what happenes, in a short while this trip will be over. Then we will be on the other side of it. It will just be something in the past."

ILSILS, this dark time will someday (soon, I hope) be a thing of your past.

February 2, 2005
1:04 pm
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Anonymous
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Thank you for sharing that story. Your niece sounds like a wonderfully bright and insightful person. What a way to think!!!

Thanks again!

Love,

Ren'ai

February 2, 2005
1:13 pm
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whitelight
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well, okay. I guess that wasn't so uplifting...so here's how the trip went:

we sang parts of gospel songs we could remember. We made frequent stops for the kids. We got a good nights sleep before going to her parents place. We prayed our brains out on the drive over.

God opened a window of time. Her dad was sweet to us...he had my sister clean and presentable for company. It looked like he had even tried to pick up a little.

We actually visted them many times over several days. It was amazing. We talked, we laughed. We ALL even went out to dinner once! My brother-in-law pushed my sister in her wheel chair. She could not hold her head up, but did manage to talk and eat a little. Later, my niece read aloud out of her mom's Bible. My sister thanked me for being a friend and kissed my cheek (as I bent over her bed.)

We parted with hugs and promises to visit again.

A couple of days later, after we were back home, my brother-in-law's illness and anger returned. A few months later, my sister passed away.

I will always cherish that time. It was a miracle.

The darkness always gives way to dawn. And yes, I believe I will see my sister again someday.

May your dawn come soon.
love & hugs

February 2, 2005
1:18 pm
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ILSILS
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thank you light. how is your daughter? she has been in my prayers every day.

February 2, 2005
1:32 pm
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whitelight
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daughter is in tub, rinsing off bubbles from her bubble bath.

She is mostly fine. I've taken notice though, that her voice usually hitches when she talks. A sign if nerves? Anxiety?

Our play therapy is today. I feel some anxiety myself. A bit of fear for what she might say...and a bit of fear she may say nothing.

Thanks for asking ILS...

February 2, 2005
1:34 pm
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ILSILS
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i know you must be nervous as can be huh? let me know how it goes. i wonder what all she will say too. i will keep my fingers crossed for you today.

February 2, 2005
1:43 pm
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whitelight
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Thanks. How's your little girl today?

February 2, 2005
2:05 pm
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ILSILS
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sick, like i said pink eye, ear infec. and lice, she is spending the day w/her daddy, wich im having lots of anxiety about b/c when i brought her over there this am. he refused to get out of bed or even open his eyes, so i had to leave her there practicly unattended,wich i know was just his way of trying to "punish" me for asking him to watch her, im sure he got up, he is a good dad but only when he has to be. grrrrr

February 2, 2005
2:13 pm
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whitelight
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Oh! So sorry your husband is using your daughter to get at you.

I had hoped some of her medical stuff had eased up. It can be hard to be a little kid.

Anyway, it's good to connect with you today.

February 2, 2005
2:14 pm
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ILSILS:

I am so sorry. Dang, lice. We've had that here. Kids picked it up at school. It is so hard to get rid of. If you follow and do the cleaning needed then great. BUT, do not let them go back to be reinfested or you'll be doing this all over again. I feel your pain, frustration, and tiredness of this.

I'm sure he got out of bed as soon as you left. What a jerk. They will probably have a good day together.

I know things seem so hard right now, and the added p/i, ear inf, lice, all the extras are not helping you. Sit down and take a breath. You need to take a nap when you get home.

My brother told me once, coz I was one who had to have the house clean, etc. He said that I have every day the rest of life to get my house in order, and then when I die it won't matter anyway. I'm not saying just let things go; I'm saying take a day off; don't push yourself so very hard. Made a BIG difference when I backed off.

This too shall pass. You're in my prayers.

February 2, 2005
2:20 pm
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ILSILS
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thank you mamma. its hard, its like when everything happenes at once, its trying on my patience. i feel like i just may be pushed over the edge this time. i duno, i know it will pass, wish it would hurry up and pass allready.

February 2, 2005
3:32 pm
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ILSILS
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anyone have any good tips on how to get rid of this???????
i have ocd. and this is driving me insane thinking about little bugs crawling around! YUCK

February 2, 2005
4:24 pm
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ILSILS
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anyone ever had kids who had this? how do you get rid of them?????????

February 2, 2005
6:52 pm
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mytimic
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Lice! Damn lil bugs! They are easy to get and hard to get rid of unless one is dilligent. All the bedding where that infected person sleeps has to be washed. The mattress and pi;;ows should be misted with a bleach/water solution and set in the sun to dry. ALL stuffed animals and toys with any cloth parts should be tied up in a garbage bag and set in the sun for at least 48 hours. As for the person who has the lice, you have a couple of choices. Shave the head and then wait for the hair to grow back, or do the lice remedies they sell at the store, not once, not twice, but at least three times, and then in 7 days do it once again. Also, any chairs, sofas, or other beds the person has come into contact with should be misted with bleach/water, all linens washed, and the infected person shouldnt be allowed to come into contact with things that aren't theirs. Example: If Mom or Dad has a favorite chair or spot on the sofa, the infected person should NOT be allowed to use that area till they are lice free. It's not fun, it's not easy, but it's a part of life. Also, check any one else that lives with infected person. Check the small hairs on the back of the neck or around the ears on everyone in the house. Lice can pass from one to another just with a hug. Any pets need to be checked and bathed along with their bedding also.A good brand of store bought lice remover I've seen work is Rid-X.Good Luck!!

February 2, 2005
7:51 pm
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woundedspirit
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I totally FREAKED when my kids got lice. Then I got to be humilited by my boss as I took a day off from work to clean everything and when I came back, she had had the janitor cover my work chair in a black plastic bag and wanted me to leave it on for a few weeks to kill any if I had them!! Which I didnt! I was soooooooo embarrased. But out of that, I came up with two tips to try to avoid getting them back right away. Becasue lets face it, you can bust your butt, kill them off on your daughter and your home but if dads home isnt as dilligent, they will be right back. One thing we did was use a shower cap around the house as we were trying to kill them off, so they werent reinfesting before they were all gone. Then I was told by our pediatrician and hair dresser that lice hate Paul Mitchells Green Tea shampoo so if you use that on a weekly basis, you will be alot less likely to get reinfested.

February 2, 2005
10:01 pm
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Hi ILLSILS,

Indeed they can be quite pesky. I had to deal with that only one time when my children were young. It will be ok, just sending my thoughts your way for a better day tomorrow.

Hugs,
Sunny

February 3, 2005
12:14 am
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whitelight
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Hi ILSILS,
I must be feeling mischevious...you don't suppose your husband now has lice? (I shouldn't smile....)

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