Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
ils needs help from anyone involved in the church
February 24, 2005
10:11 am
Avatar
ILSILS
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

so my husband told me two days ago that he had been saved, and that he fel the need to come clean with me about an incedent that happened that crosses the line of infedelity, but here is my problem, he sais that all his sins have been forgiven so he dosnt even need to feel bad about what he did. that he is a new person and i should just let it go. ive never had much ecperence with those who are new found to the church, but i am getting the feeling that what he is really saying is that he needs to feel like he has a fresh start to move on and get better, but what do i do with my feelings of betrayal, pain, and feeling like i cant be with someone who has "cheated"

February 24, 2005
10:26 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ILS:

I don't think this is a church question as much as a salvation questoin.

Yes, when you are "saved" accept Jesus into your heart your sins are forgiven. This is true according to the Bible.

As for him feeling bad about what he did? Why would he not feel bad. He is a right about being a new person and being forgiven, but don't you still feel bad even tho your parents have forgiven you when you do wrong? (not you, but folks in general).

I'd bet if he talked to the pastor of the church he'd find out that being forgiven of your sins does NOT mean you don't still have to pay the consequences for them.

I agree w/ moving on and making a fresh start. Does he mean with or without you? He needs to step back and help you before he even considers moving on; if it is to be together.

You address your feelings. Tell him how you feel. If he blows you off... ask him where's the love Christ told his followers to show. Now is when he should be there for you even more.

February 24, 2005
10:29 am
Avatar
ILSILS
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thank you, i was really wondering about that. i am a believer but i dont go to church, although i want to and i will soon. but i wonder if we can talk to a pastor togeather? do you think this is a good idea? i really want him to validate what he did, and to know how i feel about it, but i dont want to keep him from progressing.

February 24, 2005
10:33 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

That's what pastors are there for. Call the church office and make an appointment. I think it will help.

February 24, 2005
11:04 am
Avatar
ILSILS
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i dont know exectaly how to talk to a pastor, or do they even want to get involved? i dont even know if it is something my husband wants to do. im afraid

February 24, 2005
11:06 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

No need to be afraid.

Just call the office of the pastor and ask for an appointment to come talk to him. Either with or without your husband. Then bring up your concerns when you get there.

They really don't bite. : )

February 24, 2005
12:59 pm
Avatar
jastypes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Nice try on your husband's part. Yes, Jesus forgives our sins. And, yes, when we are saved the Bible says we are a "new creation". Mama's right though that he may still have to face the consequences of his actions. Is he also aware that the Bible says that the one acceptable reason to divorce is "pornea" which would include adultery?

Jesus definitely forgives our sins, and to God they are as far removed as the east is from the west. And hopefully we are able to forgive ourselves (which I think is a lot harder). But that does not guarantee that the people we hurt will forgive us. You forgiving your husband will take time, patience, and it's really between you and the Lord. It's not to your husband to say when you should forgive him.

Hope this helps. I do suggest counseling with a pastor. Maybe a friend can recommend one. I go to a Christian Missionary & Alliance Church, and I know they're Bible based and offer help to people in pain (like I was, and like you are now.)

You're in my prayers.

jill

February 24, 2005
1:33 pm
Avatar
addicts wife
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

yeah, In "god's eyes" things are forgiven, but Consequences are STILL to be dealt with and not ignored because god forgave you... That is not how it works, for your husband ot suggest that Is a sign that he has NOT truly been saved, or found god.
Life is hard, and challenging, and just saying things does not make then effective. just like soem people can memorize the words in a book (the bible in this case) and not get any meaning from it.. like my step son who is having difficulty with reading comprehension, he is 7. just because he can read the words wonderfully does not mean he knows whathe is reading, and can apply them in his life or in his own words.

Also, you can call your pastors office, and make an appointmant. I remember a preist coming to my house frequently when i was a little girl, my mom went ot him when she was doing through divorcing my very vioelnt, abusive, addict of a "father" He was so kind, and non judgemental. I KNOW (now) that going there mustve been one of the hardest things my mom ever did, but he NEVER bit either of us, not once!!!! and if your husband is reluctant ot meet with your pastor, then it males it more of a reason for you to get some guidance. that is what they are there for,everyday, not just sundays.

March 3, 2005
3:15 am
Avatar
godsgirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

A really good book and workbook that you can work through hopefully with your husband but if he is unwilling you can work through it alone is Torn Asunder. It is a recovery book from adulturous relationships. My husband never stopped cheating on me so it was a book I read alone but it will help you to process your feelings. Yes God does forgive all of us for our sins, but it will take you a lot of time to work through the pain and trust again... if you ever can. Some marriages get past adultury and others can't but you have to see in your own sittuation if your husband is really repentant, which repentant means he is not going to go back to that sin anymore. Also whatever the root issue was that caused what happened to happen needs to be worked out or it could very easily happen again. And the root is always and usually what is lacking in your marriage relationship. That is really hard to hear, at least is was for me when you are the faithful partner who was very, very hurt by someone elses choices, however that is the way to make your marriage stand the test of time. It sounds like there is a good chance your husband is really trying to make things work, if he is open go to counseling and read that book even if he doesn't it will help you. But another great book is Love Must Be Tough by Doctor James Dobson, I know it will make a difference in your life.

U take care...

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
47
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110907
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38534
Posts: 714189
Newest Members:
819Zeed, odin83, sendlv, ViolentFighterBrownCaveman, kbrfDazy, traceyob69
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer