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October 27, 2008
1:27 am
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
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I've been reading some more on codependency and meditating on what I've learned. I finally understood why I react so furiously when I perceive I'm being rejected. It's because I never got what I needed to feel secure enough for someone else to judge me and then I would internalize their opinion. The funny thing is that I can be all those things I've been so desperately searching for in someone else and I don't need anyone else's validation. I just hope I can hang onto this new awareness when I return to everyday life and pressures. I don't know what I'm so scared of, it's not like someone is going to just abduct my body and go crazy in it. It was always just me that was acting out, and just because I was like that in the past doesn't mean I have to keep making the same mistakes. I'm really working on giving myself a break and moving on. It's nice to come here at the end of the day and reflect, I'm glad this place is here.

October 28, 2008
12:10 pm
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Forum Posts: -1
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September 29, 2010
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Someone else's opinion! Isn't it odd how we take what someone else says about us, how and what we determine is right for us, and let their opinion supercede our own. As though they have some right to judge us, determine for us what we should think, how we should be, etc.

I wonder if it's true for you, SadClownSmiles, as it is for me, that we feel some obligation to allow others inside our heads and comply to their expectations. We allow them to control us that way. But we fight it so hard, through getting angry (in your case) or harming themselves (in my case.) I suppose that's what they call "passive/ aggressive" (?) I need to research more about codependency myself, as it seems you are doing as well.

Very true what you write, we do not have to repeat previous negative ways of operation, we must forgive ourselves and others, and move on to a better way. We can force the behavior, but I don't know that we can really adjust our thinking in the long term until we understand and accept a better way of thinking. That being, so much of what you write, about finding strength in oneself, not needing the approval of another to validate us, and further, not allowing their disapproval to spark negative reactions in ourselves.

Thanks for the thoughts, I consider what you wrote.

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