Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
If you are there, Paws needs you! anyone...
October 16, 2008
10:42 pm
Avatar
Paws4peace
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 17
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey, I just need to chat with someone, anyone if you are there.

October 16, 2008
10:46 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am here. What is going on?

October 16, 2008
10:49 pm
Avatar
Paws4peace
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 17
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi. good. thanks.

Just kinda had a bit of an axiety attack and I know its gonna strike again. I just don't want to be alone this time.

October 16, 2008
10:51 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am here. Just take in some deep breaths threw your nose and let it out slowly threw your mouth.

October 16, 2008
10:51 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Do you have a history of anxiety and anxiety attaks?

October 16, 2008
10:59 pm
Avatar
Paws4peace
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 17
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I was on the way home from the hospital from visiting my friend who just had a heart attack. My best friend drove me there.

on the way back I started feeling REALLY dizzy and just was talking nonsense and nonstop, and not caring about anything. I hardley know what I did. but my friend said she was worried about me. I remember that.
and I remember thinking "oh no, its coming,.." but there was no way to stop it so I embraced it. and thought more carelessly and put myself down lots. I said it was my fault that my friend was in the hospital...because..."It just is!" I started getting kinda angry and snappy and very sarcastic.

I told her not to take me home. because I knew it was coming and I didn't want to be alone this time. but I have a problem with not eating. she is trying to help me with it. so she said the only way I could go home with her is if I ate there. So I ate a little. I hardly moved. just stared with my eyes crossed at nothing. then I just started laughing and then it turned into crying.

Then I started shaking and then it hit! I grabbed my friend and pulled her on the couch I was on and fell into her and while she was hugging me. I yelled at myself and was able to stop it. I can't believe I put that on her! HER EYES!! they were so full of worry! I did that to her! HOW COULD I! I should have just gone home!

I know its going to hit again. and all I want is an arm around me again but I could never do that to anyone again!

October 16, 2008
11:02 pm
Avatar
Paws4peace
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 17
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yes,
almost every week end. They are usually in the middle of the night and wake me up. sometimes I throw up.
I NEVER tell anyone when they happen. I run into my room and curl up and die inside. I really think Im gonna die every time.

October 16, 2008
11:05 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Bless your heart. When was the last time that you ate before you ate at your friends house? Perhaps it related to low blood sugar? That has happened to me.

I have experienced the exact smae thing before. It is so scary. I thought I was loosing my mind. It was just stress and not dealing with my emotions that all backed on me. I was feeling do out of control.

(((((Paws))))

October 16, 2008
11:10 pm
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Paws :o)

Maybe you should keep your medication with you? We've all had some sort of episode in front of our friends at some point or another - don't feel bad or regretful. You're a good person, and if she wasn't a good friend, she wouldn't have been there for you. I'm sure you'd be there for her too.

You've got a lot going on Paws, and you're like a sponge - you soak up every situation and every emotion around you. It's a lot to handle and you're doing the best you can. No one expects any more of you.

October 16, 2008
11:10 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Honey, you need to reach out to someone who can help you like a therapist. Have you ever been to counseling before?

I like that you said that you embraced the anxiety. That is what I do. I think that the more I fight it the more difficult it is to deal with. I ask myself a some questions. Firs, I ask myself if my tingling head, my stomach, my racing pulse, or any of the other physical things that I experiencing could talk what they say?

You said that youy blame yourself for your friends condition-you do know that that is completey irrational? So if you were responsible then what would/could you do?

October 16, 2008
11:10 pm
Avatar
Paws4peace
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 17
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Im actually doing much better, I ate some chicken at about 2 o clock. for lunch.

What do I do about my friend? I apologized. she said not to apologize and that its okay. I don't believe Her.

gotta go to bed! sorry thanks!

October 16, 2008
11:14 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

There is nothing else you can do about/for your friend. May be explain to her what happened. Does she know that you deal with anxiety?

I am certain that she was spooked and worried about you. I would be if I was your friend. That is what friends do. You have already apologized. If you were in her shoes what would you want you to do?

I hope that you have a restful nights sleep.

((((Paws)))

Precious

October 17, 2008
2:49 pm
Avatar
Giggles_29
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((((Paws4peace)))) WOW I am soooo sorry you are hurting right now! As for your friend, there is nothing you can do to change what had happened. The way I see it is, if she is truly your friend, she will still be there for you regardless of what transpired last night!

I am so glad you came here to post. I really think it would be good for you to try a counselor?! Have you ever done counseling before? I have done it and honestly it really helped me to have someone outside of my situation to talk to.

Is your friend aware of your anxiety attacks? If not, maybe you could tell her and talk about it with her. Im sure she'd understand more. Speaking from a personal experience I once had with my sister, if you don't know someone is suffering from anxiety/panick attacks, it can be very scary to watch them go through an episode. If I had known I think I would've been more prepared or at least not so shocked.

Don't stress about it. Just try to talk to her if you can.

October 18, 2008
12:59 pm
Avatar
Giggles_29
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((((Paws4peace)))) Just wanted to let you know Im thinking about you. How are you doing today?

October 26, 2008
11:33 pm
Avatar
Paws4peace
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 17
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey everyone.

I have some very good news and some not so good news.

Good news first. GAR AND I are OFFICIALLY a therapy team. after I send in my packet, we can go and visit people! the test was yesterday and we passed with flying colors! Finally its over and I don't have to stress about it anymore!

not so good news. I've been dealing with a lot of death this weekend. My best friend, the same one who was with me with my anxiety attack, her father in law is on his death bed, and she is very stressed about it, mostly for her husbands sake. me too.
I soak it up all day I am with her, I wish soaking it up could take it away from them.

My lil sis. best friend's dad died of a brain tumor. I don't know her that well but I know her well enough to get a hug everytime I see her. she is so smiley and outgoing and fast paced, it hurts to see her moving slower.

My grandmas good friend died this weekend too. It bothers me to know that so many of my grandmas friends are dying.... they aren't really that much older than Grandma.

My friend from before I moved at age 16 died in a car accident friday night. thats just plain hard. her sister was driving and the car had a machanical problem wich made it go out of control into a semi and killed my friend and her sister is in critical condition.

my instructor for my therapy dog stuff, her German Shepherd past away. I don't know how to quite comfort her because we aren't really good enough friends that I feel like my shoulder would be accepted to cry on, but I've wished it from the first day I met her.

My uncle, who has down syndrome and is the sweetest guy on the face of the planet, i don't care who you are.. his parakeet died. HE LOVED HIS PARAKEET! its practically all he talked about. he was crying and said his heart was breaking. it broke mine to hear his sweet spirit say that like he was 9 years old. there is absolutly nothing more humbling that watching my uncle show his love and quiet understanding.

bleh. not fun. luckily nothing is directly paining me, my pain is mostly all for everyone elses pain. I wished it was all mine and I could take it away or at least feel it with them, maybe then I could understand truely what they are going through.

have you ever wished that bad things could happen to you so that you could become capable of complete empathy?

Paws

October 27, 2008
12:33 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi hunny Im so sorry that you have had to deal with so much this week but congratulations on passing your test. I have often wished that I could take someones pain away from them. Just be there for them sweetheart they could all use a good friend right about now and thats all you can do sweetheart just be there for them

October 27, 2008
2:00 am
Avatar
OopsADaisyFuentes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((((((((((((((Paws)))))))))))))) returning your kindness and feeling your pain. It's ok to be a sympathetic shoulder to cry on or arms to give them a hug...or just to be there to listen. But please be careful not to take on too much of the pain and suffering of others on yourself. It can sap every last bit of strength you have left in you no matter how well intended it is. I speak from experience. So much going on in my life right now and i am teetering back and forth from being numb to crying for hours. I have very little strength of my own left. I don't regret helping others..its who i am..but we all need that balance.

If you need to talk..you have a sympathetic ear here to listen.

October 27, 2008
1:53 pm
Avatar
robbie2007
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Paws,

Congrats to you and your therapy dog. I think that is wonderful. Have you ever heard of NEADS?

October 27, 2008
2:14 pm
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Paws!

You're such a kind person, my friend - but you can't be everyone's emotional sponge :o). I'm sure that your caring presence, and naturally empathetic nature, is enough to make these people feel the light that you consistently offer. Hopefully, you're satisfied to know that your friendship is enough sometimes. We can only do so much as human beings, and I think you're one of those people who naturally gives a lot more than their share. You're just that way. Just make sure you take some of that effort to care for yourself, and never be afraid to accept that shoulder when it's offered to YOU. I'm sorry for all of your losses this week. When it rains it pours, doesn't it. Ugh.

But now that you and Gar have passed all of the necessary tests, what a positive difference the two of you can make. That in itself is going to bring a lot of happiness and pride to you and those you're close to. Hang in there Paws :o)

October 28, 2008
5:58 pm
Avatar
Paws4peace
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 17
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

First of all. Thank you all very very much, you all continue to amaze me with your kindness and wonderful insight. sometimes you say things that are not especially insightful but the way the words fit together will make me see life in a different way and it helps me to think more positively. I can't help but feel they are inspired. so thanks. HUG to all. cuz that is what paws does best!

second of all,I had an ah hah moment that I am about to describe to you. I am warning you now, I may lose you because I think in metaphores, thats the only time things seem to make sense for me, so hang on...
I admit it. I am huge sponge that is not as active as it is reactive. It reacts to the merky water, but fails to act when the sponge is to its limit. This sponge seems to be sitting in merky water these days and is full of all the tears from others, not even my own. they aren't tears of joy (which I AM capable of soaking up too, I must remember) I learned of 2 more deaths that affected thoes very close to me this morning, one was a suicide. so this water is not showing many signs of cleaning itself out for quite some time. a very slow cleansing/healing process.

I will not say that the sponge should stay out of the water, even if it is filthy. because that is what sponges do. It's their function! its what they were MADE to do. little bit by little bit, the sponge can make the water a little cleaner. BUT, (and here is my Ah hah moment...) BUT to acomplish the sponge's goal, it must first be squeezed!! thats my problem. this little blue bunny sponge is just wolowing in it and only geting itself dirty instead of cleaning the pond like it wants to in order to feel a sense of purpose.

So, (and I would love your thoughts on this..) what the sponge needs to do is while having to be in the dirty pond of tears, soak up some, as sponges do,BUT THEN go over to the bank of the pond and squeeze. (my personal religious beliefs, creativity, and service are the bank not including anyone else, just me and the Lord so there is no dirt, only the air to dry up the tears) THEN as I am moved to a cleaner pond, one that is mostly happy, not so full of sorrow, I will not release my dirt in that pond because I will have lost most of it on the bank, but instead soak up some of thoes good happy tears in that pond and keep it with me as long as I can. and the next day, when I return to the dirty pond, I have something good to share with it. But again, going to the bank is absolutely nessesary I think. I still love the dirty pond, no matter how icky it is. It gives me purpose. there needs be opposition in all things. I just need to learn how to squeeze a little better. told ya, it was an Ah HAH moment.

🙂
Thanks ya'll HUG!

October 28, 2008
6:43 pm
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WOW Paws... you really took that sponge analogy and RAN with it! No one can ever accuse you of not having a great imagination! I really like that you've taken this far enough to see that the sponge needs to be squeezed out so it can be used again. A sponge in dirty water becomes heavy and laden with harmful germs, then it can't do the job that its intended to do. That's seems to be where you may want to spend some time and thought - thinking of a way to renew the sponge so it can stay useful. That's going to mean that you have to focus on YOU for a while - which is hard for someone who gives so much to everyone else. But I think you'll achieve a healthier balance if you can come up with some ideas. I'd love to hear your ideas as you come up with them :o).

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
25
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714257
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information